Aqua Teen Adventures - Premiere Online Source for Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Episode 102 - Allen Part 2

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Master Shake: No! Nooo! What have I done? What I have I done?

Narrator: Part 2, the second part.

Master Shake: Carl?! Carl! Carl? Carl! Where's Carl?!
George Lowe: Ah, he moved years ago. They had to chisel him out of here.
Master Shake: Oh! Oh he's a big guy now?
George Lowe: Oh yeah! Fat Mountain's what we called him.
Mom: We never called him that!
George Lowe: Sorry Mom!
Mom: Get your story straight.
George Lowe: I use it as a garage for my folk art and my aging BMW. Completely paid off by Mr. Beefy.
Mom: George! Get in here, now!
George Lowe: Coming, Mom. You want to come in here and say hi to Mom?
Mom: George!
Master Shake: Yeah, I'm not comfortable with that.
George Lowe: In that case, you want to rent my building?
Mom: Don't make me count to three!
Master Shake: I don't know, I don't think so.
George Lowe: It's in a real bad section of town.
Master Shake: I said no!
George Lowe: It is free.

George Lowe: Yeah, I let Randy at the army surplus store keep a few things over here. Oh great, thanks a lot Randy! I said a few pith helmets. Hey! Those are my pipes!
Boy: Suck it, old man!
George Lowe: Oh you kids have fun with those pipes and be good and have a good day!
Master Shake: What's up with all this lightning? Inside?
George Lowe: I didn't see any lightning. So what do you say? Make a bed out of these pith helmets?
Master Shake: Nah, I'm not into that.
George Lowe: Come on, it's free! Everything's f***ing free now that we're on the f***ing honor system!
(Flashback to Allen Part 1)
Master Shake: Like a ride in a cab.
George Lowe: Thanks a lot, Allen! Wait, wait a minute. Calm down, Allen. But I was king slumlord of Lakeland, Florida and you have reduced me to jack diddly!

Frylock: (Recorded Message) Wassssup?!
Master Shake: Hey guys! I just wanted to thank you for leaving me in the hypersleep chamber with that thing that f***ed my face, and uh, Aqua Unit Patrol Squad assemble! Do you hear me? I am at the corner of, um, a liquor--some liquor store. And you better be here in five minutes and I am NOT calling you back! Hey, I'm just calling you back. Look, it's getting late and you haven't assembled. So I'm gonna give you a couple more hours. I'm just gonna hang out here and then I hope I see you single-file assembled and ready for inspection by nightfall. Later, tater! Look, I probably came on so strong. I didn't even realize, sometimes I don't listen to myself, so let's just take a step back and you can do my bidding later. I'm just-- I'm so lonely--
Guy: Hey you. Yeah you, on the phone.
Master Shake: --And I'm lost, and I'm scared. Please--please just come and pick me up.
Guy: What you doin' round here?
Master Shake: I swear, I will not enforce a pecking order until later. You guys know I only control you for your own good!

Meatwad: Who was that?
Frylock: Oh, just some telemarketer.
Meatwad: Oh, okay. So then you killed your phone? That's a good way to get back at 'em.
Frylock: Just--just go play in your room.

Guy: You a cry baby?
Master Shake: I'm not.
Guy: Hey, look here, man. I'll give you something to cry about.
Master Shake: No, please. I'm fine.
Guy: Cry about famine. That's something to cry about. So is war, man.
Brian: Hold up, hold up! Where you goin'?
Master Shake: No where! No where, home, I'm just--
Brian: You look lost.
Guy: What, you need directions? I mean, I got a GPS. It's easy, bro. Just give me two seconds.
Brian: Just tell us where you live at!
Master Shake: No, I'm fine.
Guy: All right then. You be good, man. And have a good day.
Master Shake: You don't want--you don't want to stab me? Just a little bit?
Brian: Come on, man! Let's do 'em!
Master Shake: No!
Brian: He's practically beggin' us to do 'em!
Master Shake: No, no I--
Brian: He just said, 'stab'!
Master Shake: No, no, no, I--
Brian: That's the queue!
Guy: You know what'll happen, Brian.
Brian: I been havin' a good day for nine frickin' years! You hear me, Allen?! You hear me? Ahhh!
Guy: Ohh, damn! Uh, okay, well uh-- Y'all be good and have a good day!
Master Shake: Who's Allen?
Guy: I don't know. I don't know nothin', I don't even know what you talkin' about! Who said Allen? Who is Allen? I don't even know who that is! Look, I gotta go over here where I was hangin' out and being good.
Master Shake: Well um, what's that?
Allen: Bring the cup to me.
Guy: Go on up there, now.

Master Shake: Let me guess: Allen, right?
Allen: Well, Alien. But they f***ed it up on the sign. I trust you're being good and having a good day.
Master Shake: What is all this? What're you doing up here?
Allen: These monitors track and display all bad deeds around the Earth. And if I see something bad, I destroy it so the Earth can be good.
Master Shake: Well when you destroy the stuff, that's bad, right?
Allen: Shut up.
Frylock: What are you talkin' about, man, it's been awesome here without him.
Master Shake: Sssh, ssh. Shut up, I know these guys.
Frylock: I don't want to go back to those days, do you?
Meatwad: Well, he was always a very good friend to me.
Master Shake: Meatwad.
Meatwad: And if you don't go get him, I will.
Master Shake: Blast the little one. Slowly.
Allen: They are being good, unlike you have. Observe! (Plays clips from prior episodes)
Master Shake: Oh, I remember this! Hahah! Oh yeah, this was at the old house. Gosh, I was so thin back then! Oh, come on. He loved it more than I did. And I craved it. Oh man, that is some good times. You know, you really don't know what you have until it leaves because you chase it around with a ball-peen hammer.
Allen: You are the meanest person on the planet. A real a-hole. Underlined and bold.
Master Shake: Well, f*** you too and the ship you rode in on!
Allen: I imagine you've seen the laser. Would I be correct?
Master Shake: So what? I've got on my force field.
Allen: Damn.

Meatwad: Wasn't this the liquor store he's talkin' 'bout? This the one I like to go to 'cause they don't card me, and it's right next to the sperm bank where I get the money to buy the schnapps.
Frylock: Look, I don't see him, okay? Can we go now?
Meatwad: Hey man! You see a drink cup, 'bout yay high, white, big old eyes, pink straw, and little yellow hands?
Guy: I know I--I know I should remember that.
Meatwad: Look just like this.
Guy: Oh, oh, okay. Oh, he's up there. With Allen.
Frylock: Then he's dead and we're out of here.
Meatwad: Wait, Frylock. I got me a plan.

Allen: You know, I'm about to give you what-for, drink cup, in the privacy bubble.
(Allen Recording) Listen, I don't like this any more than you do, but it's for your own good. I'll blast you all. Don't think for a millisecond that I wouldn't do it. I'd do it now, I'd do it every day, forever. You know why? Because I can!
Allen: My Dad is watching, so here's what we're going to do.
Master Shake: You're going to vaporize me?
Allen: Well yeah, if it wasn't for the fact that you had that force field. Had you forgotten that?
Master Shake: Oh yeah. Oh yeah, that's right. Hold on, let me turn it on again.
Allen: So of course, that would be impossible. But you and I both know, that if you didn't have that force field there would be two hits--
Master Shake: Yeah, yeah, you hit me and I hit the floor.
Allen: Bingo, and that would be three.
Master Shake: That actually would be two.
Allen: Look, I couldn't give a crap about you and your number system. Where I come from, it's three.
Master Shake: Fine, you're wrong. All right, what's your point?
Allen: It's my Dad.
Master Shake: Your Dad what?
Allen: Look, all I did was have a f***ing party and someone ruined his pool table, and now I have to do this for the rest of my bloody life!
Master Shake: Well who did it?
Allen: It was Tommy rough housing with a cue stick and he tore the felt - a six inch gash! And then he lied about it, said it was there already. I coulda killed him. I still would.
Master Shake: Why didn't you just vaporize your stupid Dad?
Allen: I love him. But he's on my case.
Master Shake: He's always going to be on your case.
Allen: He cramps my style.
Master Shake: Look, at a certain point you gotta grow up and be your own man.
Allen: You know it's so odd that I could whisper to you.
Master Shake: Yeah.
Allen: Usually, a force field like yours would repel me.
Master Shake: Yeah, weird.
Allen: Weird.
Master Shake: Um.
Allen: Nevermind, I talk a lot. I mean, my Dad says that. I wish he didn't exist.
Master Shake: Don't you ever say that about your father! Do you know how much he sacrifices for you?
Allen: No. Oh God, you don't know him, do you?
Master Shake: Yes I do.
Allen: Oh no. I'm screwed. Don't tell him what I said about him, will you?
Master Shake: It's cool, it's cool man. Don't get upset. But I heard your Dad mention while we were golfing today, that he's going out of town on business tonight.
Allen: Party, party, party! I'm gonna call Tommy! He loves to throw down.
Master Shake: Yeah he does!

Meatwad: Hey, Allen. Dootie. Butt. That's right, butt. Dootie butt.
Allen: Potty mouth on 29.
Master Shake: Blast him, Allen! Blast him into the night!
Meatwad: Doo doo! Pootie butt dootie! Come on, Frylock. You do one.
Frylock: Allen you can suck my fry-d**k you son of bitch! Kiss my balls, lick the juice from my **** you **** face. You fat bastard! You hear me, bitch? Huh? Come on down here. You suckin' d*** suck **** mother ****!
Meatwad: Dang, man.
Frylock: Where you goin'?
Meatwad: Ooo, Allen! He said a bad word!
Frylock: Hey wait, come back here! It was your plan!
Allen: Right. Listen carefully: lasers here, monitors here, have you got that? Excellent. So easy a roach could do it.
Master Shake: Where ya going?
Allen: Tommy-loma! Brewmeister! The roofs' on fire! Oh. You literally mean the roof is on fire? As in burning flames? Were you smoking up there? Oh, hey Dad. Tommy did that. He smokes. You liar! You Judas, Tommy. What's for my own good? No wait, I'm not even up there. This isn't fair--!!