Aqua Teen Adventures - Premiere Online Source for Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Episode 98 - Kangarilla and the Magic Tarantula

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I'm a bum and I haven't gotten these done yet. Please be patient!

Meatwad: I'm swimming! I'm swimming! Look at me I'm swimming! Look at me over here! I'm swimming! Look, Frylock!
Frylock: Yeah yeah...
Meatwad: No water wings. No noodle. I ain't holding the side. See? I'm swimming. I'm swimming all by myself.
Frylock: Yeah.
Meatwad: See? I'm swimming here. I'm -- oh, no. Now I'm drowning! I'm starting to go -- I can't breathe! Help!
Frylock: Ooh, wow. That's good. keep going. I knew you could do it.
Meatwad: (Coughs) Hey, dang it! Get your head out of that dang phone! I almost died back there!
Frylock: Yeah. cool.
Meatwad: Fine. (Cellphone dials and rings) All right. pick up the phone. Pick up the phone. He's screening me. Don't you be screening me. Hey--
Frylock: Wazzu-u-u-u-u-u-u-p? If you need to leave a message, just do so after the beep.
Meatwad: Hey, I almost died in that pool over here. Next to you. So hit me back on my celly 'cause I want to yell at you. And talk about dinner. All right, later.
Frylock: Yeah. awesome.
Master Shake: Your son is drowning.
Meatwad: He knows. I left him a voicemail.
Master Shake: And you just sit there like a zombie zoned..in on .. That looks fun. what is it?
Frylock: Look, look, look. When I do this, he tap dances.
Master Shake: No way. wow!
Frylock: Yeah, check this out.
Master Shake: Heheh Who thinks of that?
Meatwad: Can someone fetch me my towel? Oh. oh, thank you. Magical chair.
Master Shake: Hey, do the salamander and put him in those cute little boots.
Frylock: Nah, check it out. It's a chipmunk. And when I shake it --
Master Shake: No, if you keep shaking, he does a somersault. Here, let me show you.
Frylock: No, no, no, no, no. Don't shake it too much.
Master Shake: Aah!
Frylock: I told you! Now I got to go back to tadpole stage, man.
Master Shake: Let me hold it while you do it, but I'll do the left button.
Meatwad: Y'all see all this stuff just like floating around?
Master Shake: Will you shut up! We're trying to make this salamander square dance, and your sound vibrations are altering the program.
Frylock: Who are you talking to?
Meatwad: Me dumbass. I'm over here.
Frylock: Oh. Well, ain't you doing a good job? You keep on paddling, buddy.
Meatwad: Fine. I'm gone.
Frylock: Great. I'm so proud of you. Swim upstream. Crocodile, 3:00! look out!
Master Shake: Ooh, what's the red battery mean?
Frylock: We're running out of battery juice. We got to find an outlet, quick.
Master Shake: Text Meatwad to bring an extension cord over here. Do you have another phone we can do that?
Frylock: Too late.
Master Shake: Damn it! Always to me always! We were this close to getting to the kangarilla. Your phone sucks. Now it doesn't suck. But your mobile device does not allow me for the mobility I prefer. I need to -- ohh, I got the ruby!
Frylock: Double-ruby bonus.
Master Shake: Yeah, brother!
Meatwad: Check it out, y'all. I put my shoes on and now I'm standing on the chair cushion. And plus the chair is haunted.
Frylock: Good, good. Get those food pellets, man.
Master Shake: I thought I did it! It didn't go, though!
Frylock: Feed the dragon. Calm him down. Take him to the store, put him in some new clothes for school.
Master Shake: He needs a cable-knit sweater.
Frylock: Yeah, that's it.
Master Shake: This game is incredible!
Meatwad: Look at that! Someone's writing something on the wall now. In blood. (Smiley Junction written on the wall)
Frylock: Meatwad. Go play in your room, okay, and let Frylock do his work.
Master Shake: Double axel with a twist! You're insane!
Frylock: You just wait till we get to the tarantula. It's totally nuts. You have no control, man.
Ghost: OOOOH! Ooooooooh! Look at me-e-e-e-e. I'm a gho-o-o-o-st.
Meatwad: Frylock...
Frylock: Turn the tv down, okay? Guy?
Master Shake: Yeah, we can't hear the theme to this game.
Ghost: Banging the po-o-o-t! What the he-e-e-ll? There's only one po-o-o-o-t. He-e-e-e-y! Look over he-e-e-e-e-re! Look at me e-e-e-e!
Master Shake: Meatwad, will you get Shake his earbuds? Thank you.
Ghost: Hey! How about no-o-o-w? Blood! Blo-o-o-od!
Frylock: Damn.
Master Shake: Cool! Graphics. I feel a sensation around my one, thick ankle.
Frylock: Okay, whatever.
Ghost: Fi-i-i-ne. Get a load of thi-i-i-i-s!
Master Shake: Aaah! These buttons are sticking.
Frylock: Come on Play through the pain.
Ghost: Ooooooooooh! Ugh, can you please get their attention?
Meatwad: Shoot, boy, I've been trying. I mean, usually when I want attention, I threaten suicide. And then I get ice cream.
Ghost: Go-o-o-od ide-e-e-e-e-a!
Meatwad: Hey, y'all. My life sucks. I ain't got nothing to live for, and I'm gonna end it now. (Gun cocks)
Ghost: Pop off a couple ro-o-o-o-o-unds.
Meatwad: (Gunshots) I'm so angry at myself. I'm so depressed.
Ghost: He's se-e-e-e-riou-u-u-u-s!
Meatwad: And, uh, I'm gonna just end the suffering right now. (Shoots himself in the head) Oh well I missed. Gotta reload now.
Ghost: It's not working.
Meatwad: Screw it, just blow up the house, man. (House blows up)
Frylock: Dammit, I signed a two year contract for that thing.
Master Shake: Piece of crap! Send it back to China, it blew up our house.
Frylock: Oh man. What are we gonna do now. With our free time.
Master Shake: Let's get together and stare at my hands, and harken back to the days where we played that cool game.
Ghost: What up yo?!
Frylock: (Gasp) A ghost!
Master Shake: A gay-st.
Meatwad: I told ya; I been tellin' ya for like ten minutes, man.
Ghost: I am from Smil-- Look, can I talk normal now?
Frylock: Yeah, I guess.
Ghost: I'm from Smiley Junction.
Frylock: Smiley JUnction? Don't you mean Three-arm Junction?
Meatwad: Three-arm Junction? What is that?
Frylock: Well I'll tell ya, Meatwad. It was a model community. The city of the future, until one day the U.S. military accidentally tested a nuclear bomb there (Wait, that's not Hawaii). President Truman surrounded Smiley Junction with walls of lead three feet thick and a hundred feet high. Nothing could get in or out. And everyone died.
Ghost: Yeah, that was my story. I was gonna tell it to you but--
Master Shake: I'm sorry, I wasn't listening. What's up now?
Frylock: Get your face out of your hands! He's a ghost, Shake, okay?
Master Shake: Go back to the beginning. Just do it all again.
Frylock: So why are you here?
Ghost: Those lead walls. They kept out all of the cellphone signals!
Frylock: Which kill ghosts! Of course!
Ghost: They do? I didn't know that.
Frylock: Yeah, pretty sure. So anyway, what do you want?
Ghost: We just wanted to order pizza and Chinese takeout! And we have no way of ordering it.
Frylock: Uhh. You could use a landline?
Ghost: We thought of that. But look, the phone company won't come in and install it. But now that you say that they kills ghosts..well then, we want you guys to organize a benefit, and get that Meatloaf to perform and-and sing some songs, right, about cellphones and how they kills ghosts, and how people should return to the telegraph!
Frylock: Look, look, look, forget all that. I'll tell you what. Why don't you just open your own pizza place, okay? That'll solve everything, right?
Ghost: Oh. Hmm. Good idea.
Meatwad: What about the other thing? The benefit concert with Meatloaf.
Ghost: Yeah, that's just something I'd like to do at, well some point. I mean-- I mean do y'all know anybody? Anyone who knows Meatloaf?
Carl: Meatloaf? Funny story man, my uh, second cousin Denise gave him a handjob backstage after the Newark show. Yeah, she got a couple of kids now, so she doesn't tell the story as much, but every time we get together at Thanksgiving I'm like, "tell the story Denise about how when you gave a handjob to Meatloaf." She was good lookin' when she was 18; she's a blimp now. (Dials)
Ghost: That's not a cellphone-- Wait no!
Master Shake: Carl, do you have Kangarilla on that phone?
Carl: Hang on a sec-- Denise! Hey, you still got Meatloaf's number? Yeah, from that time you gave him a handjob! Hehehe! You gave a the bass player a handjob at the same time? Oh wait, no, I believe it. You are a whore!
Ghost: What up yo?! I'm the ghost--
Carl: It's about respect! Not just for yourself, but for Meatloaf!
Ghost: I'm the ghost of the ghost that was just--
Carl: You've heart "Bat Out Of Hell" right?
Ghost: Is that a cellphone--wait, no!
Carl: It's awesome!
Master Shake: Carl, I need to borrow your phone! This is urgent! I need to play a game with it.
Frylock: He's right Carl. We gotta have it.
Carl: In a second. I'm not done berating her. He was one of the lords of rock, a hand job ain't enough. You gotta let him bang you. See that's why you're still single.
Master Shake: Carl I need your phone!
Carl: Nah! Hands off! Back! Back! Back up! Why did I call? To do this! I know I didn't talk to you in two years, but if I want to lay into you I will because I'm family and I have that right! No-- Don't-don't you hang up on me!
Master Shake: Awesome. Do you have Kangarilla on that phone?
Carl: Hold your horses, there. I'm callin' the bitch back.
Ghost: It's me! I'm the ghost of the ghost of the ghost that was just here. Is that a cellphone-- wait no!!
Master Shake: Carl, I need to borrow your phone!
Carl: No! Pick up that phone or I will unleash the venom! Denise, this is Carl. I'm sorry that we had heated words there-- Hang-hang on.
Ghost: It's me! I'm the ghost of the ghost of the ghost of the ghooos--
Carl: Uh, call me back if you get a free moment. I just wanted to uh, lord over you for a little bit longer. Okay. Uh. I love you.
Ghost: It's mee!! (Meatwad pushes a button on his cellphone to kill the ghost) It's mee!! (Again) It's mee!! (Again)

(Credits)