Aqua Teen Adventures - Premiere Online Source for Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Episode 97 - Multiple Meat

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multiplemeat1.mp3

Master Shake: Son, I'm afraid that this will hurt me more than it hurts you.
Meatwad: Yeah, I know. I shouldn't have done what I done did. What did I done do?
Master Shake: You were about to do something. I wrote Minority Report.
Meatwad: Yes, thank goodness that you caught me in time.
Master Shake: You're telling me.
Meatwad: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hang on, now! Put on your protective goggles.
Master Shake: Good thinking. We wouldn't want one of us to get hurt here, would we? (Slices Meatwad) Ahh, there.

Master Shake: Now, I do not ever want to catch you about to think about doing the thing that you were about to think about doing, ever again. Is that clear?
Meatwad: Shake, I'm very sorry that I thought about doing what you said I was about to do but didn't.
Meatwad #2: And I'm sorry, too.
Meatwad: Who said that?
Meatwad #2: You said it.
Meatwad: But I heard you say it.
Meatwad #2: We both said it.

multiplemeat2.mp3

Meatwad: You got my tooth. How am I gonna chew newspaper now?
Meatwad #2: Well, we could eat yogurt.
Meatwad: I like me some yogurt.
Meatwad #2: I like me some yogurt, too.
Meatwad: 'Cause yogurt got flavors.
Meatwad #2: Newspaper just got the one flavor.
Meatwad: We should've always been eating yogurt, shouldn't we?
Meatwad #2: Yeah. But newspaper's free.
Meatwad: In the trash can.

Meatwad #2: Here, you take my tooth.
Meatwad: No, you keep it.
Meatwad #2: You keep it.
Meatwad: I tell you what -- we'll share the tooth.
Meatwad #2: Look! it fits! It fits!

multiplemeat3.mp3

Meatwad: Hey, Shake, I got me a new best friend!
Master Shake: No! The horror!
Meatwad: What's your name, boy?
Meatwad #2: Meatwad.
Meatwad: Of the New Jersey Meatwads? After you.

Meatwad #2: No, please. After you.
Meatwad: You go ahead.
Master Shake: Shut up!
Meatwad #2: I couldn't possibly. after you.
Meatwad: No, no, no, no, I insist -- after you.
Master Shake: Shut up, both of you.
Meatwad #2: No, please. Your hands are full. You go ahead.
Meatwad: I ain't got hands.
Meatwad #2: But I just rather that you go first.
Meatwad: Why don't you just go ahead anyways?
Meatwad #2: No, no, I couldn't.
Master Shake: Shut up, shut up, shut up!
Meatwad #2: You lead the way.
Meatwad: No, you lead the way.

Master Shake: How was I supposed to know he was gonna do that?!
Frylock: He's like a damn worm, man. He's got no brain. You cut him up, and he'll multiply.
Master Shake: Wait a minute. Do you mean like in "Tremors"?
Frylock: Yeah, sure. Exactly like Tremors.
Master Shake: Get off the ground! He feels the vibrations! You can float! Go get me food!

Meatwad #2: Let me follow you.
Meatwad: No, I'll follow you.
Meatwad #2: I would rather you lead the way.
Meatwad: We could try to go in together. Hand in hand.
Meatwad #2: That sounds like a good idea. We don't fit.
Meatwad: We could do it hand in hand sideways.
Meatwad #2: But that would mean one of us would have to go first. And I wouldn't be comfortable with that.
Meatwad: No, me neither. I would be comfortable with you going first.
Meatwad #2: Why don't you go first?
Meatwad: No, only after you.
Meatwad #2: But that wouldn't be right 'cause you're more important.
Meatwad: Listen to you. You're more important.
Meatwad #2: I'm not more important than you. You're more important than me.
Meatwad: That's sweet of you to say, but you're the more important one.
Meatwad #2: You're the most important.
Meatwad: Well, you're mostest important than me.
Frylock: Okay, how about this -- why don't you two flip a coin? Whoever wins can hold the door.
Meatwad: Well, go ahead. Call it in the air.
Meatwad #2: I'd rather you call it in the air.
Meatwad: I don't want to call it in the air. That's too much responsibility.
Meatwad #2: Well, I don't want to call it in the air.
Meatwad: But if we call it in the air, then that means someone would win. And I want you to win.
Meatwad #2: But I want you to win.
Master Shake: Get the f*** in here! You're wasting all the heat! You don't even have a coin, idiots!
Frylock: Okay, how about this -- Why don't you hold the door for him?
Meatwad: But the door's already open.
Meatwad #2: And it's inside.
Meatwad: Well, I'll hold it open for you.
Meatwad #2: No, please, allow me.
Meatwad: We'll hold it together. Together.
Meatwad #2: Together.
Meatwad: Let's say it -- let's say "together" together. On-On three. 1, 2, 3. Together.
Meatwad #2: Together.
Meatwad: We missed again. Let's do it again. 1, 2, 3.
Meatwad #2: Together.
Meatwad: Together. Let's try it one more time.
Frylock: Just shut the damn door!
Master Shake: I will shut it! And seal this embarrassment from my public!
Meatwad: We've been tricked into entering the door!
Meatwad #2: I'm sorry I dragged you into this mess.
Meatwad: No, I'm the sorry one.
Meatwad #2: No, no, no. I'm the sorry one.
Meatwad: Don't beat yourself up over this. I'm the sorry one.
Master Shake: You're both about to be very sorry that you entered this horrid world! (Slices Meatwad again) And that's called taking care of business.
Meatwad #3: Mama? daddy?
Meatwad: Hey, good buddy. Nice to meet you! I'm Meatwad!
Meatwad #2: So am I!
Meatwad #3: I am, too!
Master Shake: You got to be kidding me!
Meatwad #2: We're all Meatwad!
Meatwad #3: Let's have a tearful reunion.
Meatwad: Group hug, everybody!
Meatwad #2: Hey, I got an idea!
Meatwad: You want to play Candy Land?
Meatwad #2: You took the words right out of my brain!
Meatwad #3: Let's play Candy Land!
Meatwad: Candy Land!
Meatwad #2: How about you, Shake?
Meatwad #3: Would you like to play candy land?
Master Shake: No, I would not. But I will show you what I do want to play. (Shake outside sawing the Meatwads) I declare these Olympic Games open!

Meatwad: I see you, and I'll raise you 10.
Frylock: Oh, my God. They've octoculated!
Meatwad: Look, Frylock.

multiplemeat4.mp3

Meatwad: Carl's showing us how to play Texas hold 'em.
Meatwad #2: Like they really do in A.C.
Meatwad #3: He's real good at it.
Frylock: That's not how you play that. Those are flash cards.
Carl: Eh, no, no, no, no! They're wild cards. This is a different game. This is--We play this A.C. Beach style. All right, we got a $5 blind, $10 ante. Jacks to open, trips to win. Who's in? Let me see your money, gentlemen.
Meatwad: I'm in.
Meatwad #4: I'm in.
Meatwad #5: I'm in.
Meatwad #6: I'm in.
Meatwad #7: I'm in.
Carl: And I am in, as well. And I will raise you another $5.
Meatwad #4: I'm out.
Meatwad #5: I'm out.
Meatwad #6: Too rich for my blood.
Meatwad #7: And I ain't got no damn money.
Carl: Hey, 7, when you ain't got no damn money, that's when you leave the table.
Meatwad #7: But I like to watch.
Carl: You're lucky I ainn't bring no pit boss over here. That stuff wouldn't fly at the Taj.

multiplemeat5.mp3

Meatwad: All right, Carl. Check it out. Triangle, bug, fire truck.
Carl: Two pair!
Meatwad: Yeah! You like that?
Carl: Not bad with only three cards.
Meatwad: I ate two of them.
Carl: But uh, that certainly don't beat two goats, a circle, a star, and the letter J. Full house and a pair! Hahahah! Read 'em and weep, gentlemen. I'm gonna cash out now.
Meatwad #5: That's it, Carl.
Meatwad: Thanks for teachin' us how to play Texas Hold'em Poker.
Carl: These bills feel uh, small. And yellow. And this is a dead squirrel.
Meatwad: Maybe them bills shrunk.
Meatwad #7: But probably they just come from a board game. Foreclosure!
Carl: What the--! I knew a chicken was never President. You owe me $1,200 or I'm gonna send my cousin over here to break your hands. You got 48 hours!

Meatwads: Bye Carl!
Meatwad: Thanks for the lesson!
Carl: Pick your nose clean while you got the chance, 'cause you'll be diggin' for gold with finger splints after Tuesday!

Meatwad: Nice to meet you, I am Meatwad.
Meatwad: So am I!
Master Shake: Frylock, you stop 'em!
Frylock: Just chill out, they ain't bothering you.
Master Shake: They keep multiplying!
Frylock: That's cause you keep chopping them up into bits, Shake.
Meatwad: Nice to meet you, I am Meatwad.
Meatwad: So am I!
Frylock: Have you tried not doing that?!
Master Shake: That's no fun.
Frylock: I don't know what to tell you, man. You know what's gonna happen. Every time you chop them up or saw them, they're gonna multiply. Every time!
Master Shake: But I want them dead!
Frylock: No, no, I know. I know.

multiplemeat6.mp3

Master Shake: That's your answer, science man? Fetch me the axe!
Frylock: Here you go, I sharpened it for you.
Master Shake: Hahah! Good! The meat has dulled my blade.

multiplemeat7.mp3

Master Shake: Hey, can I grab you for a second?
Frylock: Sure, what's up? Wassssssup?! I'm sorry, is that out now?

Master Shake: They're meeting on how to form their own stupid government!
Meatwad: The floor recognizes Meatwad.
Master Shake: But here's the fun part, they're still trying to decide on who should bring the juiceboxes!
Meatwad: I'd hate for you to go through that much trouble, 'cause I can bring juice boxes.
Master Shake: 75 Minutes of this.
Meatwad #3: Juice boxes are expensive. Let me bring the juice boxes.

multiplemeat8.mp3

Master Shake: This is so f***in' retarded! We are not establishing a democracy in this house! This is a dictatorship! And I rule with an iron dick!

Meatwad: Let's call the matter to a vote. Raise your hand if you would like to bring the juice boxes. And let's count. No one can count. We're deadlocked again.
Meatwad #4: I demand a recount.
Meatwad: As I said, no one counted right the first time.
Meatwad #5: Well, I don't know how to count right the first time.
Meatwad #6: How do you count?
Meatwad #5: I don't know. Let's call Carl.
Meatwad: Who wants to vote on who to go over to Carl's house and get Carl? Okay, we're deadlocked again.
Master Shake: Frylock, I'm on my last leg. You need to help me mush all this together and set fire to it.
Frylock: No, no, no, no, no. I have a better idea.

multiplemeat9.mp3

Frylock: Hey, gang! Let's all sing a song.
Meatwad #8: Okay!
Meatwad #9: Okeydokey!
Meatwad #10: All righty roony!
Frylock: 3 Million bottles of beer on the wall--
Meatwads: 3 Million bottles of beer--
Frylock: Yeah!
Meatwads: Take one down, pass it around, 2,999,999 bottles of beer on the wall.
Frylock: See you, dude.
Master Shake: Wait! Wait! don't go! You know what? I'm leaving, too! Okay, that was a bluff! But don't go!

Meatwad #4: Wait, I got mixed up. Start over.
Master Shake: Noooooo!
Meatwads: 3 Million bottles of beer on the wall, 3 million bottles of beer--

Meatwads: 7 More bottles of beer on the wall--
Meatwad: Frylock, you're back!
Meatwads: Hey FrylocK!
Frylock: No, no, keep going. Don't stop because you see me.
Meatwads: Okay. 8 More bottles of beer on the wall, 8 more bottles of beer--
Master Shake: Is someone there?
Frylock: Is that Shake?
Master Shake: Speak up, please.
Frylock: It's me -- Frylock!
Master Shake: You left us.
Frylock: Yeah, man, I got to thinking how trapped I had been all those years, you know? So I wrote a book on the dangers of co-dependency, and it waa best-seller. I turned it into a lucrative franchise of six movies, a TV show, and a series of self-help disks. I married Cheryl Tiegs, divorced her, and married her underaged granddaughter, and we live very happily on a small island south of France with the New York Football Giants, who I purchased two years ago with all the proceeds from my wildly successful life.

multiplemeat10.mp3

Master Shake: Well, seems like you wasted a lot of time.
Frylock: Look, Shake. I brought you this.
Master Shake: What is it? I can't read since I punctured my eyes with those little oyster forks you got for Christmas.
Frylock: It's a bug bomb. I thought it might help with all the singing.
Master Shake: No, I already took care of that. I sliced my ears off.
Frylock: Oh, okay. Well, I'll see you later, then!
Master Shake: Drop by any time.
Frylock: I probably won't.
Master Shake: What?
Frylock: I said I probably won't!
Master Shake: One more time.
Frylock: Never mind.

Master Shake: Are you there? Asshole!
Meatwad: Zero bottles of beer, you can't take one down 'cause there ain't no more bottles of beer on the wall and you got to call the store and order more bottles of beer for your wall! Dang. that was fun!
Meatwad #3: Yeah, that was fun!
Meatwad #4: Well, now what do we do?
Meatwad: I suppose we can sit here and get to know each other. Or we could sing that song one more cotton-picking time.
Meatwad #2: Yeah, we could!
Meatwad #5: Yeah, let's sing it again!
Meatwads: 3 Million bottles of beer on the wall, 3 million bottles of beer, take one down, pass it around, (gunshot) 2,999,999 bottles of beer on the wall!