Aqua Teen Adventures - Premiere Online Source for Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Episode 81 - She Creature

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I'm a bum and I haven't gotten these done yet. Please be patient!

Carl: Heeyyy, buddy! Got a green thumb all of the sudden, huh? Or a green fry I guess! (Laughs) How about you come over and take a dip? Cool off? Beat the heat?
Frylock: No, no thanks Carl.
Carl: I uh, I did get rid of the water moccasins. Oh. Uh. There's something else down there that I can't, uh, explain. But you don't bother it, it don't bother you.
Frylock: Yeah, I'm planting a row of trees, so I ain't gotta look at that mosquito breeding ground that you're runnin' over there!
Carl: Aww, listen to you, here we go. Relax, it's cool. I filled the pool with deet! And that'll kill anything.
Meatwad: Hey Carl! Deet, deet, deet, deet, deet, deet, deet. I like sayin' deet. (Jumps in pool and continues)
Frylock: Well just so you know, I called the city about it.
Carl: Oh? Oh yeah? Well, I call the uh.. city on you too. And your filthy uh, trees, there!
Master Shake: What the hell are you planting?! This is a rental! You don't get your money back! Plus, I'm just gonna chop those down! I may, you don't turn your back on me!
(Meatwad, still repeating 'deet' is swallowed by a monster)
Frylock: What the-- Meatwad!
Carl: He's gone! That THING took him.
Frylock: Back up! I'm going in after him.
Carl: Yes, go in after him!
Frylock: Wait! Ain't no f****' way I'm goin' in after him!
Carl: He could still be alive, if you went in after him you'd know for sure!
Frylock: Carl! You want to feed me to that monster, don't you?
Carl: Yeah..
Frylock: That's cold blooded, Carl. Damn!
Master Shake: Last one in's a rotten egg!
Frylock: Shake! No!
Master Shake: Cannonball!! (Misses the pool and gasps for air)

Frylock: Lower me slowly, over.
Terry: Hang on here, tough guy.
Carl: Oh hey! Terry! I thought were were conducting this uh, conference call tomorrow morning?
Mob Guy: Boss says he wants it done now.
Terry: Or he'll take your other nut.
Carl: Haha, listen to this guy. Bustin' my ball...s. Balls. I got two. We ain't gotta talk about this publicly.
Mob Guy: You know, maybe you oughta think about that next time you bet 20Gs for the Jets to cover.
Carl: Well you told me the inside dope was that the other time had the flesh eating virus.
Terry: (whips out gun) You gettin' smart with me, huh? Smart guy?
Mob Guy: You want a trip down a flight of stairs? Have an accident in your pathetic life?
Terry: You're pathetic! Say it!
Carl: I'm worth nothing in your eyes, sir!
Terry: I knew that! Now get your monster up here to take care of this trash! (Carl blows conch and monster takes body) Now was that so hard?
Carl: Say, uh, before you guys go, who do you like in the AC Beach Invitational?
Terry: AC Beach?
Carl: Women's billiards. You guys do book on that, right?
Terry: Jesus. You're a f****' looer. (to Frylock) Scuba guy, you ain't seen nothin', and you ain't heard nothin'.
Carl: See, Fryman, you gotta let that be a lesson to you. If you see someone racketeering, you let it go. They're diggin' their own grave.
Frylock: Look, Carl, I know its none of my business but gambling is a dangerous addiction.
Carl: All I need is one run, and I'm back! You follow women's billiards? Wait, I got an idea. How much money you got?
Frylock: No, Carl.
Carl: It's a proven system! You're throwin' money away!
Frylock: Uh uh, Carl. Nope.
Carl: Fine, stay a sucker!
Frylock: Carl, lower me into the water.
Carl: Okay, one more idea. You go kill those guys with your eye lasers, then I feed you to this monster.
Frylock: Carl, that makes no sense. There ain't nothin' in it for me!
Carl: Sure it does. You--you do the thing and then.. Why can't I get ahead?! (monster takes Frylock) Yeah!!
Master Shake: All right!!
Meatwad: (resurfaces with Frylock) Oh hey there.
Frylock: Oh man!! It's amazin' down there!
Carl: Are you serious..?
Frylock: We spent what-- what seems like seven lifetimes!
Meatwad: We sure did! It was fun down there!
Frylock: Everything is--is a never ending Superbowl of pleasure! You should try it, Shake.
Master Shake: Do they have a big-screen TV?
Frylock: Sheeet, the biggest! It's huge!
Master Shake: Well, okay.
Frylock: We rented Michael Clayton, man.
Master Shake: Michael Clayton?!
Meatwad: On blu-ray!
Master Shake: How'd it look?
Meatwad: We done saw every pore on George Clooney's face, y'all!
Master Shake: Turn on the TV, I'm comin', Michael! (blows conch and monster takes him)
Carl: Wow, so it's cool down there?
Frylock: Hell no man! It's a pain unlike any I've ever felt in my entire life!
Meatwad: Oh yeah. We was digested and defecated and digested and defecated and digested and defecated and--
Carl: All right, okay, okay, okay. I get the picture.
Meatwad: Uh oh.
Frylock: Whoa.
Master Shake: There weren't no TV down there. And I'm startin' to think that my hands are gone!
Meatwad: No, I see one. (Monster takes it) Oh, nevermind.
Frylock: Well all right. We're gonna go home now Carl.
Master Shake: Whoa, hey! Help me outta here, will ya?
Frylock: We need to treat that pool!

Frylock: (Shoveling) Take this you mother--
Meatwad: Carl's gonna be so happy. And suprised. And then happy. And then surprised! And happy, and then surpise. Then the surprise will wear off cause he will have seen it for a time. But he'll still be happy.
Carl: What did you do to my pool?!
Frylock: We cleaned it! Now it's refreshing and enjoyable. For the bitches we 'gonna have comin' over here this summer.
Meatwad: Frylock!
Frylock: Sorry, I meant to say ho's.
Meatwad: There we go.
Frylock: Sorry.
Carl: Monster? Monster? (blows conch)
Frylock: It's dead.
Carl: No, no!
Frylock: We killed it with chlorine.
Carl: They're droppin' off a package tonight!
Frylock: Crime doesn't pay, Carl.
Carl: Oh yeah it does. You ever seen his watch?
Master Shake: I have and I want watch like that. I should pamper myself more.
Carl: His pinky ring's worth more than my I-Roc. Them frickin' guys are loaded. And I want to be loaded.
Frylock: Loaded you say.. That gives me an idea.

Terry: F****** sumo wrestlers (pants). When I say 'take a dive' you take a f**** dive, you fat f***!
Mob Guy: I don't think he understood English.
Terry: Well, he's about to be sushi. So blow the f**** horn. (blows conch) What the f***? The water looks clear. Where's that big f**** fish?!
Frylock: You rang? (Frylock lasers them)
Carl: Yeah! Fryman!
Frylock: Relax, Carl. They're only stunned. Just until the authorities can arrive.
Carl: Authorities?! Oh you out of your mind?! Shoot them again, in the head!
Frylock: Nope. That's not how I roll dog, and you know it.
Meatwad: Okay, now when do I cut off the finger tips?
Master Shake: After I check the teeth for gold!
Carl: Take your eye lasers and cut their heads off!
Frylock: Carl, they have your number. They know where you live, and you still owe them money! Hell, they'll send someone else. That's why its called a 'mob'.
Carl: Uh, yeah. Good point.
Meatwad: This was not very well thought out, Carl.
Master Shake: Porcelain?! Outrageous!
Frylock: Whoa. I feel a little tug from this filter. This jet uh, is quite pleasurable actually.
Carl: Jet? Move over it's my pool!
Frylock: All right, damn!
Carl: Oh! Oh yeah! Look guys, I need some alone time so I can think about my past and some of the poor choices I've made.
Master Shake: And so you can jerk off in it.
Carl: Yeah, yeah. Maybe jerk off in here too.
Master Shake: All right, let's beat it.
Meatwad: Listen y'all. Name this tune! (blows conch) You give up? Are you playin'?
Frylock: No.
Meatwad: Toxic. Britney Spears. All right, we'll do a different one. (blows conch) That's 'Touch My Body' by Mariah Carey. I changed the key though. And the meter. And most of the words. All right, let's play again. (blows conch)

Carl: Oh man! I think I just found a girlfriend! The creature! Let go! Let go! No!
She Creature: I am this creature you speak of. And you destroyed our civilization when you cleaned the pool. And so I can never be your eternal sex slave because of what you did to my people! My...fish people.
Carl: Well that-- That wasn't me, that was him!
She Creature: Oh, okay. That changes things. I will quickly disappear inside your penis and give you and indescribable pleasure beyond all description.
Carl: All right. Do it.
She Creature: Thirty dollars. Fifty if you let them watch.
Master Shake: C'mon Go for it!
Meatwad: Yeah, make it fifty man!
Master Shake: Fifty! Fifty!
Carl: Thirty. Close the blinds over there! Am I doin' it? Oohhhh! It's startin' to itch now. Itch real bad! Come back up here. Get out of my penis. Hold on. Have you been tested?
She Creature: Tested for what? (Carl blows up into eggs)
Master Shake: Oh!
Frylock: Uh oh.
Meatwad: Dang!
She Creature: Now hatch forth eggs! Grow and reform our lost civilization!
Frylock: Ah, damn it! I slept with her ass, too. (Frylock explodes the same way)
Meatwad: Ooo! Oh, I told her I was saving myself for marriage and that wouldn't be right, and it'd screw up our friendship, but she got me drunk on red wine and... things let to things and...well...
Master Shake: What are you trying to say? (Meatwad explodes as well) Whoa. What the-- Well, just for the record, I did her twice! And her friend. All over my jock like sexual animals! I cannot believe that I haven't exploded yet. I'm probably just immune cause I had so much exposure to their butts and sex. You really should hear the story 'cause it is..incredible! (Goes outside) Hey, hey guys. Hey you want to listen to this story about when I had sex underwater?
Terry: Okay, okay!
Master Shake: I'm just walkin' by mindin' my own business flexin' my pec's, and this chick starts gettin' all up in my face!
Terry: Yeah, yeah. I'm listenin'.
Master Shake: And I'm like, 'whoa man. I'm just out here for flexin'! And then she looked down and said "It looks like you're here for more than flexin'!"
Terry: Keep goin', yeah. I'm listening. Two broads, huh?
Master Shake: Yeah! They started sexin' me all up -- Hey that's a good idea, cut those trees down, by the way. Then the one--they took turns--
Terry: Where do you want me to put your balls? In a jar?
Master Shake: Wait, what?
She Creature: Cut him down!
Master Shake: No!!