Aqua Teen Adventures - Premiere Online Source for Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Episode 79 - Gene E.

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I'm a bum and I haven't gotten these done yet. Please be patient!

Meatwad: What are we looking for?
Master Shake: [Digging through trash dump] Shh. The Jewels!
Frylock: Or, any can that says 5 cents redeemable in Connecticut.
Master Shake: But I'm still looking for Jewels.
Frylock: Yes we know Shake, you said it a number of times already.
Master Shake: Well that's because that's my preference.
Meatwad: Mine too.
Frylock: [Annoyed] Jewels would be great Shake, but right now we need money.
Master Shake: Jewels are worth money!
Meatwad: Mmm-hmm, lots of money.
Master Shake: Thats why I want to get married, so I can get one of them big rings. You know the man gets it now.
Frylock: Just get in there!
Meatwad: Saving the environment is fun, and profitable.
Frylock: Meatwad! When did you start smokin'?!
Meatwad: Hoo. (coughs) I don't know. But I cannot stop! It's like a meal in a little paper stick.
Master Shake: Jackpot gentleman! (holds up bottle with Genie)
Gene E: Stop shakin' the bottle! Hey, come on man!
Master Shake: Peppermint schnapps!
Frylock: What the hell?!
Gene E: Stop shakin' the bottle!
Master Shake: I shake stuff!
Gene E: Come on, man!
Master Shake: That's how I got my name! That's my roots, man!
Frylock: It's a real life genie!
Gene E: Well, my name is actually Gene. Gene E. E stands for..uh.. Eugene or somethin'.
Meatwad: We're gonna call you Double Gene. Gene squared! Ain't that right?
Gene E: How about I call you f***?!
Meatwad: Oh okay. I can--I don't have to call you nothin'. I just thought that'd be fun.
Master Shake: Nice story! Now grant us some wishes or I will personnally destroy you!
Frylock: Whoa, Shake. He doesn't do that.
Gene E: Yeah, sure. I grant wishes all the time. For food.

Master Shake: What's the problem? He's tiny and cute!
Frylock: He's homeless and drunk, man! How many genies you ever seen inside a schnapps bottle?!
Master Shake: Calm down, there Hitler. You think Ron Howard just wished 'Willow' was great? No, and yet it was. Gene, I'll put Willow in!
Meatwad: I was saving this for my birthday--
Gene E: Yeah now its mine.
Meatwad: We can share but-- Oh, cause the rest of its in your mouth now.
Gene E: I need some protein to give out my wishes.
Meatwad: I wish I was bald. Y'all I'm bald! He does grant wishes! He does! How many wishes do we get?
Gene E: Twelve..or three.. Whatever man, let's not put a number on something that's just so f****** cool.
Meatwad: All right y'all!
Frylock: Look, just don't be pissed off when he doesn't come through for ya with a wish.
Master Shake: I wish that you were gone with that attitude! Gene, make it happen. Wish Frylock away.
Gene E: (grabs crotch) Kabingo!
Master Shake: Oh boom! It's for reals, yo! I knew it!
Frylock: I'm still here, Shake. He just turned me invisible.
Master Shake: Oh. Kill him, Gene. Dismiss with his life.
Meatwad: I wish that I was Zach, of the Suite Life with Zach and Cody.
Gene E: All right.
Meatwad: All right y'all! I'm living in a hotel suite with my twin brother Cody on Nickelodeon! Right?
Frylock: No, you're just invisible like me.
Gene E: Look, over time you will form into that guy that you just said.
Meatwad: All right!
Gene E: And that castle thing will be built all around you. And it'll be great!
Meatwad: Yeah!!
Gene E: Now where's your money?
Master Shake: First I require you to do something for me! I wrote a great screen play. It's call FASSSST!
Gene E: Wow..
Master Shake: There's a truckload of snakes that are on a bus. It's sorta like Speed, only the speed is faster. You have to go 155 miles an hour, or the bomb will go off!
Gene E: Who's your star?
Master Shake: I got the title.. which obviously we both feel really strongly about. And I have an ending.
Gene E: I like it. Kablibby.
Master Shake: My screenplay!
Gene E: Ah, don't worry. It's being sold at something... Dreamworks..
Master Shake: But I was gonna direct that piece!
Gene E: Boom, director!
Master Shake: Hey Frylock! Guess what! I'm a director!
Gene E: Hey... Where's the money?
Master Shake: Frylock's sock drawer.
Gene E: Where's the sock drawer?
Frylock: Now you make me visible right now!
Gene E: Oh man. The wishes are limited.
Frylock: You said they were unlimited!
Gene E: Well now I limit them.
Frylock: You ain't gettin' nothin' more from me until you turn me visible again!
Gene E: Fine, whatever. Kaking! Hooray, visible.
Frylock: No I'm not!
Gene E: Yeah you are. Give me the money.

Gene E: Hey you guys! Poke some holes in the damn lid!
Meatwad: Hey Gene E.
Frylock: Poke some holes in the lid, Meatwad.
Meatwad: Meatwad ain't here. See , it's Cody now, of the Suite Life with Zach and Cody.
Frylock: I thought it was Zach.
Meatwad: It don't matter, they're twins. I'm on Nickelodeon!
Master Shake: And cut! Gene baby I'm gonna need more energy from you. I don't feel like you're committing to the character. Come on, look alive!
Meatwad: He looks dead!
Frylock: You didn't put air holes in the jar.
Master Shake: We're gonna put digital holes in the jar in post. So let's move on and lets reset the lights.
Frylock: There's only one thing left to do.
Meatwad: Go on tour with Hannah Montana and live in a hotel suite on Nickelodeon?
Frylock: No. We're gonna open him up and create a visibility vaccine from his genie gland.

Meatwad: Where's the genie gland?
Frylock: I honestly don't know. Do you?
Meatwad: Mmm huh. Yeah I do. It's this right here.
Frylock: That's his foot, Meatwad.
Meatwad: No no, not that. It's this.
Frylock: And that's his shoe.
Meatwad: What if--What if its this one? Is it this one?
Frylock: That's his little liver.
Meatwad: No, I don't like liver. Or onion. I have very specific dietary requirements in my contract because I'm Cody of Zach and Cody in the Suite--Okay, I'll shut up, I'll shut up.
Frylock: Y'all hear something?
Meatwad: No. Proceed.
Frylock: Shut up, shut up. Listen!
Carl: Hey! Hey!! Can anyone hear me?!
Frylock: It's in there--
Meatwad: Shut up, Frylock. I hear something.
Carl: Hey!!!!
Frylock: It's coming from in there.
Meatwad: Where are you pointing?
Frylock: I'm pointing at the living room.
Meatwad: 'Cause I'm under the bed! In the nude!

Carl: Anyone see a little three inch dude running around in curly shoes? Smells like Schnapps? Gonna get his ass wrapped around his head? Manually?
Frylock: Carl? Carl where are you?
Carl: I'm down here, jackass. Where are you?
Frylock: Oh we're right here. But don't be alarmed; we're just invisible.
Carl: Oh!! Come on! That's what I asked for!
Meatwad: Ooo, Carl. You tiny!
Carl: Oh, you think?!
Meatwad: You lost some weight! And height!
Carl: Please.. Your breath is awful.
Meatwad: I will eat me some dog crap.
Carl: Yeah, no I've seen you do it.
Meatwad: Mostly empty calories. It ain't gonna keep you goin' through the day!
Carl: You need to find Gene. And you find him now!
Frylock: Carl, I'm afraid Gene's dead. I thought I could create a visibility vaccine from his genie gland, but then I realized that I don't know anything about genies. Do you..know anything about genies?
Carl: I studied elevator repair!
Frylock: Just askin'. You know..
Carl: All I wanted was the American dream! What every immigrant wants when he comes to our shores or over our fences: To get his rocks off indiscretely and invisibly for free in a woman's public restroom or dressing area of a lingerie shop. And now that dream is no more.
Master Shake: Wipe those tears, Carl. Your story is too important to America!

Carl: This is the jackpot! They didn't see us at all! You know how long it would've taken me to walk here?!
Master Shake: Sssh! Carl! The key is absolute silence! Like a filthy predator creeping in the reeds as the big boobed crane flies ever closer.
Carl: Yeah but here's the thing, ya know. Sometime they'll come in here to talk. I know that! They don't always do number two! So we gotta lure them into the stall. And then lure their--their dresses off.
Master Shake: It doesn't matter. As soon as they hear these drips, they're gonna need to go! This is basic science! You stay in the toilet bowl. That's where the action is.
Carl: Good call!
Master Shake: See, it's like a pool to you!
Carl: You think, uh, you think they'll see the camera?
Master Shake: Sssh!! They're coming, hand me the camera! (Girls chatting) Show it to me baby! Yeah! There it is! Yeah! Carl! I got some footage!
Carl: Awww yeah! (Flushes) No, no, no!!!
Master Shake:; Carl? Carl?
Carl: (coughs) The walls are so smooth! Thank God for this used tampon!
Master Shake:; Check it out! The toilet operates on laser beam! Like Star Wars in here! This is how Darth Vader craps!

Frylock: Genies are usually known to live in bottles because of alcoholic tendencies that run in genie familes. Often genies will turn other people into little genies, so they can have someone like them to drink with. Carl!
Master Shake: Oh, he's gone man.
Frylock: Whoa, whoa! Shake!
Master Shake: I flushed him down the toilet.
Frylock: No! He was a genie. Dammit! He could've turned us visible. And how long have you been over there?
Master Shake: Look at this: Haunted hair dryer! Coming to fluff you on normal!
Frylock: Shake, cut that out.
Meatwad: Don't you worry Frylock. I done developed these special glasses in my science lab. See, I can see myself and my nose for when I'm pickin' on my boogers.
Frylock: These are toilet tubes.
Meatwad: Give 'em back to me. They weren't calibrated right. Try 'em now.
Frylock: They still don't work, Meatwad.
Meatwad: Then where did I find all these boogers then, huh? I need boogers to live.. boogers are food!
Frylock: We've got to find Carl! He's the only one who can turn us visible again!
Master Shake: I know what we'll do!

Master Shake: The faucet lures them into the toilet. Makes them want to go. That's when Meatwad rolls in with his camera focusing only on the butts. ...Meatwad? I know you're here! (back home) Do you have any idea how long I was waiting for you at that restaurant? Huh? Answer me! Haunted hair dryer! (Makes noise with mouth) (at sewer) You know how long I was waiting for you at home? Is that--Is that you in the floating underwear?
Meatwad: Yeah.
Master Shake: You're gonna get us arrested!
Frylock: Shut up, we just found Carl! Look! Someone needs to give him mouth-to-mouth.
Master Shake: I'm not touchin' those lips.
Meatwad: I don't know CPR.
Frylock: Well someone needs to do it.
Master Shake: Then someone should do it!
Frylock: Don't look at me!
Master Shake: You have no idea where I'm lookin'!
Frylock: Well fine, I guess we'll just wear underwear the rest of our lives, then, huh?!
Meatwad: That sounds like paradise to me.
Master Shake: That does! I want a zebra print thong! And I'm gonna buy it right now!
Frylock: Did you go through my sock drawer?!
Master Shake: I thought you were dead!
Meatwad: Come on; I think I need a change of underwear.
Master Shake: Stripes are slimming. But just for the record, you want to make sure you wear those on the outside.
Meatwad: Is this like a racing stripe or..?
Master Shake: Yeah, those are racing stripes if you consider diarrhea to be a sport.
Meatwad: That's how I got it for so cheap at the store! It was pre-skidded.
Master Shake: Pre-skidded?! By who? From the bum factory?
Carl: (Being taken by ants) What're you doin'? No, no no wait! No, no, no, nooo!!!