Aqua Teen Adventures - Premiere Online Source for Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Episode 76 - Dummy Love

Click on the filename above the transcription to download the clip. Enjoy!

dummylove1.mp3

Master Shake: Skulldilocks and the Seven Scorpions. Written and illustrated by Robb Zhombee!
Meatwad: Hey wait no, I want you to read Jimmy the Jet Engine.
Master Shake: Just a few pages so you can relax!
Meatwad: Please don't read that book.. I hate that book!
Master Shake: Once upon a time, there was a beautiful little girl...
Meatwad: What happened to her?
Master Shake: Her mom threw acid on her face because she was jealous of her beauty!
Meatwad: No!
Master Shake: "Skulldilocks! Skulldilocks!" That's what the school children cried, and she was so upset she threw acid on the school kids faces.
Meatwad: Oh my goodness.

Master Shake: 'cause somebody from the Bible told her to do it. Now press the button.
Meatwad: I don't want to press it.
Master Shake: If you don't press it she's going to come for you in the night!
Meatwad: With a bucket of acid for my face?!
Master Shake: Spoiler alert! Yes!
Meatwad: No!
Master Shake: Press the button with all your might!
Meatwad: No, I won't do it!
Master Shake: Give me your hand! (Shake forces Meatwad to push the button and we hear screams)
Meatwad: No.. (cries)
Master Shake: ...the children said. Again, and again, and again.. Press it again. (same occurs) Press it again. Twice. (same) And skulldilocks was never found. The end. Adios! (boards up door to Meatwad's room) See you in hell! (Meatwad gets out) Fine.

(Kill Dummy is delivered to Aqua Teens)
Kill Dummy: Kill. Kill, kill! KILL! KILL! Kill.
Meatwad: He's cute, can we keep him?
Master Shake: Please? Can we keep him?! Please!
Frylock: Well, sure, why not?
Kill Dummy: Kill! Kill! (brandishes knife) Kill!

dummylove2.mp3

Frylock: Well, I gotta run to dinner. You guys have fun. I'll be gone just long enough for something to happen, but if anything does, don't use the phone 'cause I just cut the line. Later haters!
Master Shake: Okay! We'll be very safe!
Meatwad: Hey, let's put him on the shelf. Ain't no way he can get down from there!
Master Shake: Here you go! Put him up on the shelf! There ya go. (Lightning) Oh man. There's a storm brewing. I hope the power doesn't go out. (Power goes out) Uh oh.
Meatwad: Oh no! The power went out! (Power goes back on) Oh, there we go.

Master Shake: (Dummy is gone off the shelf) Oh! Meatwad!
Meatwad: But how?!
Master Shake: I took him down! I wanted to arrange him better next to my ceramic knick-knacks and personal collectibles.
Meatwad: Make it look good.

dummylove3.mp3

Meatwad: I'm gonna go lock all these windows, 'cept this one. This one I'm gonna unlock for some reason.
Master Shake: Have you seen my collectible axe?
Kill Dummy: Kill! Kill! Kill! (Brandishes Shake's axe)
Master Shake: Oh, there it is. Hey, that looks great on ya.
Kill Dummy: Kill! Kill! Kill! (Brandishes Shake's axe)
Master Shake: Oh, you have another gift for me?
Meatwad: They look like... human fingers.
Kill Dummy: KILL!
Master Shake: Well I'm gonna stand 'em up around you dummy.
Meatwad: Neat.
Master Shake: Just like they're little trophies to you.

dummylove4.mp3

Master Shake:(Yawns) Well, let's hit the sack.
Meatwad: Yeah, I'm pretty beat.
Master Shake: Oh wait. We left the scissors out.
Meatwad: Oh, leave 'em out. We'll put 'em up in the morning.
Master Shake: All right, hey, you up for me uh, reading a little bit of that book to ya?
Kill Dummy: Kill!
Meatwad: Oh no, please don't read that book. I lose control of my bowels!

dummylove5.mp3

Kill Dummy: KILL KILL KILL! Kill! Kill! Kill!
Frylock: Somebody pass the syrup.
Master Shake: You know, Mickey Rooney looks fantastic for his age.
Kill Dummy: KILL KILL! KILL! KILL!
Meatwad: What's everybody doin' today?
Master Shake: I dunno. I was kinda thinkin' about stealing Carl's car and taking a drive up to the old cabin.
Frylock: Oh, up on uh... Monster Mountain?
Master Shake: No no, no, the OLD cabin. On Mount Terror. That's one mountain over.
Meatwad: Why.. a whole school bus of children disappeared up there.
Master Shake: Yeah, that was about five years ago. Today, exactly.

Kill Dummy: Kill! Kill, kill, kill.
Frylock: You know you can get killed up there.
Master Shake: WHAT?!?!
Frylock: What'd I say?
Master Shake: Uh... you said I could get killed up there.
Frylock: Oh, sorry. I meant to say you can get good antiques up there.
Master Shake: Why do you think I'm goin'?
Frylock: It's this damn dummy.
Meatwad: Oh yeah. He keep me up all night with his "Kill kill kill, I like to kill". I say "How about you try to get a little rest, dummy?" and he just go "Kill kill, Meatwad, kill kill".
Kill Dummy: KILL! KILL! KILL! (Repeats)

(Dummy is under Carl's rear tire)
Frylock: Okay! I think it's dead!
Master Shake: Well, that's the end of that.
Frylock: Man I'm glad that's over. (Dummy reappears at doorway) WHOA!
Kill Dummy: KILL! KILL! KILL!
Frylock: (Shoving him into a woodchipper) Uh! Take that you sonofa.. Uh! All right! Well, he won't be bothering us anymore.
Kill Dummy: KILL! KILL! KILL!
Meatwad: Dang it.

dummylove6.mp3

Master Shake: Listen, the thing is, as soon as you turn your head, he pops up behind ya. It's like a thing with him. Just keep lookin', ya see him?
Frylock: Uh, nope.
Meatwad: Uh-uh. Nope.
Master Shake: How we lookin' on those monitors?
Meatwad: Monitors 1-8, no dummy. Monitors 9-16 no dummy.
Master Shake: Thank you, thank you!
Frylock: I think he's done... well done.
Kill Dummy: KILL! KILL!
Master Shake: Aww, COME ON!

Kill Dummy: Kill! Kill kill kill.
Meatwad: (Shake using flamethrower on him) Ow!
Master Shake: Whoops.
Meatwad: Ow, stop doin' that!
Master Shake: Oh sorry. My bad. (continues)
Meatwad: Owww!
Master Shake: Sorry! I'm sorry! He got into my head, all right?
Frylock: All right, that's it. I know what we're gonna do.

dummylove7.mp3

Kill Dummy: KILL! KILL! KILL!
Frylock: Yo, Carl! Check it out, free dummy!
Kill Dummy: KILL! KILL! KILL!
Carl: You seen my fingers?
Frylock: Uh-uh. We got a free dummy for you!
Carl: Yeah, no thanks. I already got one.
Die Dummy: DIE! DIE! DIE!
Carl: Who is givin' out free dummies in this neighborhood!?!? If it's that Mormon kid... I swear to god.

(Dummy's repeat KILL and DIE as they meet each other)

Kill Dummy: KILL!
Die Dummy: DIE!
Kill Dummy: KILL!
Die Dummy: DIE!
Kill Dummy: KILL!
Die Dummy: DIE!
Frylock: Alright, fine! You can have the damn bed! Dammit!
Meatwad: (Hears Dummies presumably sexing) Man, them dummies sure do... get along.
Master Shake: Yeah, I thought they'd hit it off. They got a lot of similar interests... Slotted jaws...
Meatwad: They both made of wood.
Master Shake: Can't move their fingers.
Frylock: Look here, I ain't runnin' no damn dummy boarding house! This is gonna stop and it's gonna stop today!
Master Shake: Leave them to me.

Master Shake: Hey clearly ladies and gentleman my little wooden friend is torched. And yet, where did he go? Voila! (Dummy appears in lion's mouth)
Kill Dummy: Kill, kill, kill!

dummylove8.mp3

Master Shake: Thank you very much! And the gorilla says "You mean the one that f***** ya up the ass?" and the lion says...
Die Dummy: Why? Did it already make the papers?
Master Shake: That's exactly what he said, you son of a bitch! Thank you! We got a million of 'em.

Master Shake: This is huge for me! You know I'm the star, right?
Frylock: Oh yeah man, we're real proud of you Shake.
Master Shake: You know what, Frylock? I've found my niche and I've just grooved right into it. (Dummy steals a wing) Hey! Watch the wing sauce on the tux. Jose Feliciano wants us to open for him. That's big!
Meatwad: I wish them dummies was real flesh and blood boys.
Master Shake: No!
Meatwad: Yeah huh. I do.

dummylove9.mp3

Master Shake: Um, where are my dummies?! 'Cause I've been looking everywhere and I cannot find them! Help me find them... or confess to stealing them. Immediately.
Kill Dummy: Kill. Kill.
Die Dummy: Die. Die.
Frylock: Look Shake, they're right there! They magically came to life!
Meatwad: Because I wished it! Upon a star!
Master Shake: I'm the star! They're no good to me alive! (Whips out axe)
Frylock: Shake no!

Master Shake: I want you to go up to Meatwad, tell him that he needs to wish on the same star.
Frylock: He wants you to wish upon a star.
Master Shake: To wish me the f*** outta jail!
Frylock: To get him out of jail.
Meatwad: Well you tell him that I don't talk to suckas! Heheheh! I don't talk to suckas, boy!
Frylock: He says he doesn't talk to suckers.
Meatwad: Hehehe! Burn!
Master Shake: Well you tell him that I'm gonna wish on Satan's grave that he gets split in half!
Frylock: Aw, Shake. Come on man. Look, your sons want to talk to you.
(Kill and Die humans alternating "Kill" and "Die" until Shake hangs up)
Kill Dummy: He hung up.
Die Dummy: Yeah... he hung up.