Aqua Teen Adventures - Premiere Online Source for Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Episode 73 - Reedickyoulus

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reedickyoulus1.mp3

Meatwad: Terrence you have my heart, ohh... Terrence you have my soul. Terrence you ate, a bug today, he's no longer moving.... You spit him out his shell, don't taste good. But you ate part of his brain-
Master Shake: It is time. (Puts Terrence in the Microwave)
Meatwad: Terrence?!

reedickyoulus2.mp3

Master Shake: What was that?
Meatwad: What was that?!
Master Shake: Dammit! A lot of times these Korean capacitors can't take this many ohms. And then double the problem when you're trying to defrost someone's kitty-cat in there.
Meatwad: Someone's kitty-cat? Who's kitty-cat?
Master Shake: (chuckling) Who's do you think?
Meatwad: Yours?
Master Shake: This is Mr. Sparkles, he is a magician and he is NOT to be touched!
Meatwad: Well who's kitty-cat are we talking about here?
Master Shake: Well do the math. You had one, now you have none. What does that equal?
Meatwad: Terrence! No!
Master Shake: Terrence BOOM!
Meatwad: Terrence! My skinless love...
Master Shake: I am the king! (chuckles)
Frylock: Oh yeah, and the "king" is going to sleep out in the yard tonight.
Master Shake: The grass? That is not a slumber chamber fit for a king!

reedickyoulus3.mp3

Master Shake: (sighs) Wrong again. The rings must be joined. If you don't learn this, we're never gonna get into that condo. (straining in background, clank)
Master Shake: Hark! The first firefly of the summer solstice! Fetch my royal net! Oh. Hey.
Carl: Yeah.
Master Shake: You dropped something.
Carl: Eh, that's okay. I don't need it anymore.
Master Shake: What if it's a golden egg?
Carl: Heh, how about you crack it open with your teeth, and see if it is?
Master Shake: (chomps) Ugh, it's not!
Carl: (laughs) Sucker.

reedickyoulus4.mp3

Frylock: He was a fine pet. Good friend and, he was very cherished in... what was he?
Meatwad: It's a she, thank you, and his name was Terrence.
Frylock: Oh sorry Meatwad yes, SHE and now... she's gone. Her life's (sniffles) snuffed out in its prime--Oh my God, what is that smell?!
Master Shake: I'll tell you what--It's called Carl--right there where he dropped that deuce.
Frylock: Man, this is some bull. Man, I don't care that we don't get along; he needs to be using his own toilet!
Carl: Carl, get out here! You need to answer for this! (machine running loudly)
Meatwad: He looks busy.
Master Shake: Yeah let it go, you're not gonna be able to stop him now.
Frylock: What do you mean?
Meatwad: It's called "Ree-dick-you-lus." Ain't you never seen the ad on TV? "Hey, baby, come back to 'pick' you up later." Only it ain't "pick" they sayin'. It's another word. It sound like "pick," but it's like an inverted "P" at the beginning. So, you know, it's a different word that sound like "pick," but it ain't the word "pick." ... It's a different word...
Frylock: (interrupts) I get it. I get it.
Master Shake: Then get it. Get me one.
Frylock: What does it do?
Master Shake: It lengthens, hardens, girthens, strengthens, satisfies, and fully pleasures your crotch.
Frylock: It doesn't look safe.
Master Shake: It's not. They've been sued many times. But women don't get turned on by safe. They crave danger.
Meatwad: Yeah, they want a man who'll try anything, no matter how disreputable the company. (machine bangs loudly)
Frylock: When it shuts off, I'm gonna have to have a talk with him.

reedickyoulus5.mp3

Master Shake: Hey! Check that out!
Meatwad: What?!
Master Shake: Yeah I know! You're sad about it, right?!
Meatwad: What?!
Master Shake: Hold on! Mr. Sparkles...!
Meatwad: ...What?!
Frylock: (with megaphone) We're gathered here today to say goodbye to another -- What's his name?
Master Shake: (with megaphone) Mr. Sparkles! And he was a wonderful magician!
Meatwad: (with megaphone) Hey! It stinks out here!
Frylock: (with megaphone) Carl we need -- (turns off megaphone) Carl we need to talk.
Carl: Hang on, Fry Man, I gotta cop a squat. The deuce is loose. (laughs) I got a big brown dog barkin' at my back door! You know what I mean?

reedickyoulus6.mp3

Meatwad: Yeah.
Frylock: What are you doing?
Carl: Look, hey, you talk to me all you want. Just don't look at me. I mean it freezes me up. I don't know if it's science or nothin', but somehow, it knows. (straining, farting) (clank) (sighs)
Frylock: What in the hell is wrong with you?
Carl: Dude, my porcelain melted. I gotta go somewhere.
Frylock: Holy--Carl it's glowing! And you are too! Look at your groin.
Carl: Minor side-effects that will go away over time... (chuckling) While you're havin' a good time! (laughs) You know what I'm sayin'? Ohhh! (fart) You guys got a machete or a bolt cutter or something?
Frylock: Nah. Look Carl, we're a little concerned about what's going on.
Carl: (interrupting) Well, don't be. Unlike you, I'm going for the brass ring. Speaking of brass rings though, come here. Look at this. Does this look normal to you?
Frylock: Ew man, not even close.
Master Shake: It looks like a tiny city
Carl: Oh, man, I'm supposed to call the help-line if that happens.

reedickyoulus7.mp3

Operator: If you experience symptoms such as gleaming feces, luminescent groin flesh, or ghosts are escaping out of your anus, please press 1.
Meatwad: What's that in your pants?
Carl: Mesh underwear. It's like going commando, but you still got control. Comes with the unit, cools it down. Otherwise, it'll overheat, and you got to, you know, apply a solution. (rapid chatter) Uh, yeah, well, I have... experienced some symptoms, yes. (rapid chatter) No, I won't sign a release. rapid chatter) Yeah, sure, a set of steak knives sound good. What's your point? (rapid chatter) They'll cut through a can? (rapid chatter) And then they cut tomato? (rapid chatter) You need an address, or, uh... (rapid chatter) You can see me? How is that -- Unh!

reedickyoulus8.mp3

Frylock: Look at this -- it's melted straight through the floor.
Master Shake: Don't bring that [fart] in my house!
Frylock: The radioactive mercury isotopes are off the charts! Do you know what this means?
Master Shake: Yeah. It means new carpets, bitch!
Frylock: Hell, yeah, it does! Give me some. Finally! I've been telling him and telling the landlord that we're not going to re-sign that lease. Now he has to repair it.
Meatwad: Go Frylock!
Master Shake: Let's all smoke some cigarettes to celebrate!
Frylock: No, Shake! The gas leak!
Master Shake: All right, mom.

reedickyoulus9.mp3

Meatwad: (doorbell rings) Yes, may I help you? (Sees zombified animals) Oh, my goodness. (Mr. Sparkles meows) (gorilla hoots)
Meatwad: It's a reunion! Group hug!
Frylock: Meatwad, back away. They're all zombified.
Master Shake: When did you get a gorilla?
Meatwad: Don't you remember this guy? Back in '02, I got tired of always losing them hamsters, you know, so I splurged. Get me a gorilla.
Gorilla: (hooting) Yeah, don't you remember? Shoving me into a microwave?
Master Shake: Microwave... (laughs) That would be classic. (cats screech)
Master Shake: No! No! Oh, no! Ugh!
Frylock: The only thing I can figure from this is that Carl's radioactive waste must've infected the animals with some sort of zombie virus.
Meatwad: Big Billy, is this true? (Shake talking in background)
Gorilla: (hooting) Why won't this microwave work?
Meatwad: Come on, boy, now. Put him down and give me a big ol' hug!
Frylock: Meatwad, don't. It's a virus.
Gorilla: (hooting) Viruses can be treated with the proper antibiotics.
Frylock: No, not this one, Meatwad. This virus can only be spread through bodily fluids. That means blood, saliva...
Gorilla: (hooting) And unprotected sex, too. Come on, everyone. Give me a hug. A big, naked hug.
Meatwad: Big Billy, you got an STD and you wasn't gonna tell me?
Gorilla: (hooting) I knew you wouldn't understand. Sorry. We'll leave.
Master Shake: Hey, whoa! Whoa! Where you going?! Get over here!

reedickyoulus10.mp3

Master Shake: Look, guys, they're offering us free sex, and you are an idiot to turn that down. Sex is everything to me -- everything.
Frylock: All right then, go for it.
Master Shake: I will. But I will use protection, 'cause I am smart.
Master Shake: Wow. Do I have a big smile on my face? I'll never kiss and tell. But I pounded that ape -- twice.
Frylock: Meatwad, back away.
Master Shake: Yeah, and bow down to the king of ape sex!
Frylock: Hyah! I'm sorry you had to see that Meatwad, but in order to kill a zombie, you have to separate the brain from the spine.
Master Shake: Hey, I just heard, like, a pop. Did you hear that?
Frylock: [fart]damn Wikipedia!
Master Shake: You guys got any of those brains lying around? I just want something to nibble on.
Frylock: Sure, just hang on one sec.

reedickyoulus11.mp3

Operator: If your friend has just been infected with a zombie virus through sexual contact with an undead Simian creature, please press 2. (beep)
Master Shake: Seriously, I need an aspirin. (rapid chatter)
Frylock: Okay. (rapid chatter) Tell him to stand out in the street. (rapid chatter) And a gay zombie ape party bus will come pick him up? (rapid chatter) All right. I'll tell him.
Master Shake: I heard. Is that what you think of me? I can't control myself. I... I have no moral compass... 'cause I wasn't raised right. But if you want to get rid of me and my disease... And my insatiable appetite for brains and sex with infected animals... Then just tell me where to go.
Meatwad: Yeah. Out in the street, with the zombie bus and the gay gorillas.
Master Shake: Fine.
Meatwad: Well then go then.
Master Shake: I am going. I am moving. That's what I'm doing. Is that -- Yes! That's my people! (dance music playing) Let the parade begin, yo!
Meatwad: I call first cigarette!
Frylock: All right. Wa-- no, wait -- the gas leak!(explosion)