Aqua Teen Adventures - Premiere Online Source for Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Episode 72 - Couples Skate

Click on the filename above the transcription to download the clip. Enjoy!

Carl: Come on man, pick up the phone. Pick up the frickin' phone!
Markula: Why have you disturbed my slumber at this hour?
Carl: Do you hear that?! Listen!
Markula: Yes. And it is beautiful.
Carl: Not to me, man. And I called the cops. And they took one look and kept drivin'.
Markula: You leave my tenant alone!
Carl: He's screaming his head off over there. And I'm about to get my balls up and uh... make it my business.
Markula: With what? You can't stop him. He will shred you like a sheet.
Carl: Yeah, he definitely has me on weight. [Paul rips some shit up] Oh my God...
Markula: Listen... just give him a couple days. He's going through a difficult custody battle.
Paul: Stupid bitch!
Carl: Just so you know, he's ripping all the copper out of your house, and he just hauled ass down the street.
Paul: That bitch! Got the minivan and the damn convertible!
Markula: Oh, he's probably just getting some money for a fix.
Carl: This is officially an issue. You need to come see this.
Markula: Fine. (Appears) Poof!
Carl: You see that? Look at that!
Markula: See what?
Carl: THAT!
Markula: No I don't see what. Everything is fine Carl, just relax. They're only kids.
Carl: They're just- No there's one of them and he's a freaking monster!
Markula: He's not a monst- shhhhh.
Carl: I can talk when I want where I wan- [Carl turns to see Paul standing directly beind him] I mean uh... yeah... I don't know... uh... yeah... I was talking about this guy at work, he's a monster...
Paul: What does she even need two cars for?!
Markula: Oh, Paul, good morning, and how was your fix? Did you ride the white horse?

couplesskate1.mp3

Paul: What did you do to my house?!
Markula: Carl, what did you do to Paul's house?
Carl: Look here! I'm getting uh... I'm uh... I'm having a city uh... ordinance... neighborhood watch... I'm gonna... make some stuff happen, and you better...
Markula: You're so mad.
Carl: You clean it up at your own pace because I know you're big, but...
Markula: Hahahahaha! No one likes you!
Carl: I'm so pissed off!

Frylock: Hello?
Carl: Hey man, what's up? Where ya been?
Frylock: Carl, we're in great danger. Check us out on the webcam! (Carl see's webcam shot) See? Horrible danger!
Carl: Uh.. Hang on.
Frylock: See? Horrible danger!
Carl: What's that, like a big spider?
Frylock: Spider pinata!
Meatwad: Spider pina-pinata?! Filled with candy?
Frylock: No! Filled with spiders!
Meatwad: Oh. Well shoot, that's different.
Frylock: Well, Markula says he'll break it open on our heads unless we pay him for October, but I aim't paying him for October until he fixes that damn gas leak!
Master Shake: Well, I'm starting to like this cave actually.
Meatwad: Yeah, this is an upgrade.
Master Shake: I'm startin' to like the feel of it, it's got a lot of space, it's cool, it's free, it's close to the action--
Frylock: What action, Shake? There ain't no action out here!
Master Shake: When the movie deal comes through, though, I'm outtie!
Frylock: So.. Carl, what's goin' on with you?
Carl: Ah, nothin'. Just hangin' and bangin' man. (Paul screams)
Frylock: What the hell was that?!
Carl: That's uh.. Paul. Next door, guy, neighbor. Goin' through a bit of custody battle, apparently.
Meatwad: Boy, I hate to hear that. That's always so hard on the kids.
Master Shake: Well, he sounds like a good father...from the phone. (Paul Screams) Must've been her, and her constant woman'ly demands.
Frylock: Is he livin' in our house?!
Carl: Paul? Yeah. It's actually been rented a few times.
Frylock: Well not if I have anything to say about it! You wait 'til I get outta here!
Meatwad: We miss you Carl! And we hope that Paul figures out his life. Family is important, but some people, they just shouldn't be together. Unfortunately, that's the way it is and he just needs time to figure that out. So go ahead and give him that information from me, okay?
Carl: All right, I'll tell him, I guess..
Meatwad: Who is he?

couplesskate2.mp3

Frylock: Oh Carl, by the way, I almost forgot to ask.. Can you-can you come get us?
Carl: Oh.. Uh.. That's gonna be hard cause.. I'm uh, don't really want to do anything. Uh, when would that be, exactly?
Frylock: As soon as you can, man. But you know, whenever. But now would be great, like right now.

Carl: Cause ya know I'm torn. I hate this dude next door, but.. God I'm so unmotivated. I mean, uh, where are you located again?
Frylock: Oh well you know, we're cocooned by military spiders in a cave in the Mojave desert. You remember when I told you that, right?
Carl: Is that in Jersey?
Frylock: I don't know where it is, Carl! Would you please look it up on the internet or something and come get us?!
Carl: All right, listen, I may have a window, a small window of time tomorrow..
Frylock: Tomorrow is the party Carl, he's going to use us a birthday games, Carl!
Carl: Birthday games, we'll that's different!

couplesskate3.mp3

Frylock: Yes, um, Mom. Mom, yeah Mom! I'll remember to get the dry cleaning. Yes, ma'am. Yes, mother. My mother. I love you too. Bye...
Markula: And who was that?
Frylock: It was my Mom.
Meatwad: That was Carl.
Frylock: It was my Mom!
Meatwad: It was Carl.
Master Shake: Shut up!! It was my Mom! (Markula bat-ifies and scares Shake) I mean, it was Carl! (Motions to Frylock) He's been bad!
Markula: I told you! No phones! This is totally illegal what I'm doing to you.

Frylock: And you're not going to get away with it!
Markula: Fryman, this could all go away if you would just simply pay me for October...and you fix the gas leak!
Master Shake: I'm not fixing that gas leak for me or anybody else, you son of a bitch!
Frylock: Save it Shake.
Markula: Yes, save it.

couplesskate4.mp3

Markula:It won't matter when we play pin the tail on the Shake, and we bob for meatballs, and then we play ignore the Fryman.
Meatwad: I'm playin' it right now.

couplesskate5.mp3

Markula: [Markula gives Carl an invitation to his 4040th birthday party]Lordy Lordy! Look who's turning 4040! [pause] What? You don't RSVP?
Carl: Well, you just handed this to me.
Markula: Paul next door is coming. Won't you please come, too?
Carl: Roller skating--
Markula: And ice cream cake. Woo!

Carl: All right, maybe I'll drop by. Is there a map or what?
Markula: I tattooed it on your torso in the night.
Carl: Oh that's what that is, okay.
Markula: It says at the bottom of the card to bring a gift! Please! Gifts!

Frylock: Okay, okay. You're in my room, right?

couplesskate6.mp3

Carl: Mmm hmm. Yeah. (Looking at porn on Frylock's computer)
Frylock: Okay, under my bed you'll find a dead prostitute. Just ignore her, okay?
Carl: Mmm hmm. Okay.(Looking at porn on Frylock's computer)
Frylock: Carl, I'm just kiddin'. You know there's no dead prostitute down there. What kind of person do you think I am? A lot of times you pretend like you're paying attention on the phone, but you know, you're actually not. Okay, you see the mini-fridge next to my keyboard there?
Carl: Mmm hmm. Yeah. (Looking at porn on Frylock's computer)
Frylock: It's filled with very expensive vodka straight from Russia.
Carl: Okay, then what? (Looking at porn on Frylock's computer)
Frylock: You're not paying attention again man, I know it! Turn the damn computer off, Carl!
Carl: It's off! I'm not touchin' it, it's off!
Frylock: No it isn't, no it's not, I hear you still typing!
Carl: You heard me say things..during your pauses, there. You know I'm-I'm listening to you. It's off.
Frylock: Now listen to me. There's a bottle on the bookshelf. (Carl drinks it, spits it out) Yeah, yeah, don't drink from it man.
Carl: I won't! And I didn't!

Carl: Frickin' tastes like liquid Italy!
Frylock: Of course, it's garlic champagne. You must bring it to the party Carl!
Carl: Yeah.. I just--I'm thinkin' about not going.
Frylock: Oh come on, man. It'll be fun! He'll have games! Pin the tail on Shake! Bobbin' for meatballs!
Carl: Well, I could see how that could be fun.
Frylock: But he's using us as the games, Carl. But yeah, it'll be fun. So great then. So we'll see you there. Uh, Mom.

couplesskate7.mp3

Markula: I told you no phones! You're just making me look stupid!

couplesskate8.mp3

DJ: Okay, alright let's give it up for the birthday boy, Markula! How old are you?
Markula: I am the one turning 4040.
DJ: Four thousand forty? That is old!!

couplesskate9.mp3

Carl: I hope you like it. I spent a lot of time pickin' it out..of my uh, crawlspace.
Markula: Ooo, oh yes. What is it?
Carl: It's like uh, I dunno.. it's got all these tubes.
Meatwad: We'll help you out, Carl. It's a vacuum, see? This here, this hook up to your anus and pull out your all your vital fluids into this feedbag thing here. That's what that does.

Markula: Well, it certainly looks new.
Carl: Oh yeah, no. Of course it is. You know, I bought it that way. That's how they sell it.. in stores.
Markula: Funny, I could've sworn that I gave you this.. LAST YEAR!
Carl: That's right... and now, we both have one!
Markula: There's only ONE!
Frylock: Now! Douse him, Carl!
Carl: Open wide, jackass!
Markula: No! No!
Master Shake: Yes! Yes!
Carl: Suck on that Markula!
Markula: My body, my precious body... NOOOOO!
DJ: ...and now it's limbo time!
Frylock: *sighs* Thank god.

couplesskate10.mp3

Meatwad: I know. It's limbo time!
Master Shake: That's right you crazy crackers! It's-- (Knocks stick down) Dammit!
DJ: You suck at this!

(Paul grabs Carl)
Carl: Hey, hey!
Master Shake: Douse him, douse him Carl!
Frylock: Go ahead, Carl. Douse him too!
Carl: It ain't workin' on him!
Master Shake: Dammit.
Frylock: Oh. Well, yeah, we don't really know who he is. Is he a friend of yours?
Carl: Yeah, this is uh, this is Paul. The one I was telling you about. Next door?
Frylock: Oh, oh! Sorry man. Nice to meet you, Paul. Sorry about that.
Master Shake: Listen, divorce is tough on everyone. Hang in there, kid.
Meatwad: ...and good luck, Carl. Good luck, man.
Carl: Where are you going?!
Frylock: See ya Carl! Good luck!
Carl: Where are you going?!
DJ: And we're gonna bring it down a little for.. Couples' Skate!
Paul: (grabs Carl) Oh boy! Couples' skate!!

couplesskate11.mp3

(Ending Credits)