Click on the filename above the transcription to download the clip. Enjoy!
carlwash1.mp3 Meatwad: Hey, here's one. (reading) Looking for dollars? Are you gullible and stupid as hell? You may qualify to be part of our dangerous experiment. Bring your resume, wallet, social security, ATM and/or credit cards to Carl's Car Wash. Minorities need not apply, or we gonna sue your balls to the wall. (stops reading) That sounds promising. Master Shake: That job is perfect for you!
carlwash2.mp3 Carl Brain: Show me your shapes! Meatwad: Oh, I got a ton. Here, check this out. Hotdog, Igloo, Igloo, Hotdog, Igloo, Igloo, Igloo, Igloo. Carl Brain: Those are not enough shapes! No one will wash their car here because of you!
carlwash4.mp3 Meatwad: (rings doorbell) Carl: What do you want? Master Shake: Get your car washed. Meatwad: Get your car washed. Uh, uh. Get your car washed. Uh, uh. Master Shake: Or you're a dumbass. Gonna get your ass whooped. Meatwad: Or you a dumbass. Gonna get your ass whooped. Master Shake: Right here and now. Meatwad: Right here and now. Master Shake: Really emphasize the now. I mean, your, your mad with this guy. Meatwad: Right here and now, boy! Master Shake: Now shove him, physically. Carl: Nah, that's not necessary. Very thoughful though, but uh, ya know, up yours.
carlwash5.mp3 Meatwad: When we do the interior we like to enhance it with an aroma. Do you have a favorite aroma you would like to pick? We'd love to facilitate that. Carl: You got uh, you got Pina Colada? Meatwad: No, I'm afraid not, sir. Carl: No Pina Colada? Ok, uh, how about, uh... strawberry boobs? Meatwad: Nah, we ain't got that either. What we do have is athletes foot, bloated beach cod, and stank breath. Carl: Go through the list again.
carlwash6.mp3 Meatwad: This is the first part of our patented three-step treatment. Carl: Yeah, that kinda looks like your sorta slingin' dirt on it. Meatwad: What it actually is is dumpster juice, which is sorta like a combination of rain water and garbage. Very acidic. Very harsh on the paint job. Carl: And why are we doing this again? Meatwad: It's just a pre-coat. I mean obviously we need to prep the outer-coat for, you know, the cat urine.
carlwash7.mp3 Carl Brain: Hello Carl. I too, am Carl. And this is my son, Carl Jr. We are all Carl. Carl: Neat. Carl Brain: Yes, neat. Remove his brain!
carlwash8.mp3 Master Shake: You know, Snakes, in the wild of course, have to unhinge their jaw to eat a car. I think the trouble with you is that you have all that skin around your mouth. (hands Carl a knife) Frylock: Shake?!
carlwash9.mp3 Frylock: Carl? Carl: Carl? Frylock: Carl? Carl: Carl? Frylock: Oh no! Carl: Oh no! Frylock: Someone's taken Carl's brain! Carl: Someone's taken Carl's brain! Meatwad: That is what I've been trying to tell you. Frylock: Really? Well you haven't been very specific about it! Meatwad: I know! I haven't!
carlwash10.mp3 Carl Brain: Brain slave, report to brain quarters. Brain slave, kindly report to brain quarters. Brain Slave!
carlwash11.mp3 Frylock: Where's Carl's Brain? Carl Brain: I am Carl Brain. Frylock: No, Carl's brain. Carl Brain: I am Carl Brain. Frylock: No, no, no, no, no diferent...different Carl, okay? Carl Brain: I am Carl Brain. Frylock: My friend Carl, his brain! Carl Brain: Behind you!
