Aqua Teen Adventures - Premiere Online Source for Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Episode 67 - Ezekial

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ezekiel1.mp3

Ezekial: Daddy?
Carl: Next door, jackass.

ezekiel2.mp3

Ezekial: Daddy?
Master Shake: No.. no.. You're.. uh.. you're probably thinkin' of the guy next door. Big fat guy. ..you take care!
Carl: (Gun cocks) That's right; get lost.

Frylock: Hi! Can I help you?
Ezekial: Daddy?
Frylock: I don't think so. But you do look like someone I know.
Ezekial: Mommy?
Frylock: But that's impossible 'cause he has no penis.
Master Shake: Hey! Is he gone?!
Frylock: No. He's right here. You want to talk to him?
Master Shake: No, no! I don't!
Ezekial: Daddy!
Master Shake: Send him away.
Frylock: Hey, little guy. Why don't you come in for a bit? It must be hot outside.
Master Shake: Don't do it-- hey, hey! We were just talking about you.
Ezekial: Yay! Daddy, daddy, up, please! Daddy, daddy, up, please! Yay! Daddy, daddy, daddy! Up, please, please, please! Up, up, up! Please, please, please!
Frylock: Pick him up, Shake. He wants to be picked up.
Master Shake: You pick him up. He's your son.
Ezekial: Please, please, please.
Frylock: Come here, little man. Look at you.
Ezekial: Aagh!
Master Shake: You gotta wash your hands before you pick a baby up. He can see the bacteria burning into his flesh.
Frylock: What's your name, little man?
Ezekial: I don't have a name. No one ever gave me one.

ezekiel3.mp3

Frylock: Well Shake, aren't you going to name your son?
Ezekial: Daddy Daddy Daddy!
Meatwad: Aww, is this your bastard?
Ezekial: Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Daddy!
Master Shake: He ain't mine!
Meatwad: Aw, now that you said it I can totally see the resemblence. 'Specially in like, the cup region. I don't know if you can see it, but I can definitely see you guys both lookin' cup-like.

ezekiel4.mp3

Master Shake: Look, yes, I have banged hundreds of broads, internationally, but know this: I wrap my rascal TWO times cause I like it to be joyless and without sensation as a way of punishing supermodels.

Frylock: Yeah, well, let's see what a DNA test would say about that.
Master Shake: Oh, that's where it starts. Then pretty soon he's gonna want 65 cents for bus fare, liquor for his stomach. You know, I counsel dogs in better shape than you. Free-jacking all around here like you're Mick Jagger. Listen! Why don't you go hustle on down to the soup kitchen, Mick.
Frylock: wait a minute! Wait!
Meatwad: Don't go! Come back!
Frylock: Come back, little Shake!
Ezekial: (Crying) Daddy! Daddy no want me. I'm gonna take a bus to Reno.
Frylock: Oh, no. That won't do. Why don't you just stay here with us until you're old enough to leave home.
Ezekial: Hurray! Daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy! Hurray!
Master Shake: Yeah. Huzzah.

ezekiel5.mp3

Meatwad: I wanna name him. Can I name him?
Master Shake: No! He's my son--No! He's not my son! Nobody can prove that!
Meatwad: I'm gonna name you Jesus..Ezekial..Jesus. And that's from the Bible.

Ezekial: Ez-zek-kial?
Frylock: That's a good name. Ezekial
Ezekial: Ezekial! I am ezekial That is me! Ezekial is--I am.
Frylock: Let's everybody have a group hug for Ezekial
Meatwad: Group hug!
Ezekial: Group hug! Group hug for Ezekial I'm the sheriff!
Frylock: Come on in here, Shake.
Master Shake: Yeah, sit and spin.

Ezekial: Swimming! Yay! Swimming!
Meatwad: Hey, Zeke, over here.
Ezekial: Swimming, yay! Ha ha.
Meatwad: A booga-booga-booga-boo! A booga-booga-booga!
Ezekial: No booga-booga! No booga-booga!
Frylock: Meatwad, he can speak English, you know.
Meatwad: Booga-booga-booga. Well, that is English.
Master Shake: Come on, Zekey! Swim to papa.
Ezekial: Oh, papa, papa! Swimming.
Master Shake: Come on, you can do it.
Frylock: There you go, Shake. See?
Ezekial: Swimming.
Master Shake: And here he goes.
Frylock: No, Shake.
Master Shake: Yes, Frylock. Keep your chin up. You don't want to breathe that in.
Meatwad: Zeke! Are you okay?
Ezekial: (Coughing) I am a swimmer!
Meatwad: He could have drown in there, Shake!
Frylock: Meatwad's right!
Master Shake: I know. That's why I did it. We can't afford college.
Meatwad: Shake's right. Zeke, I'm so sorry.
Frylock: Look, will y'all both hold on? No one's going to college, all right? When he gets to be old enough, he can work security at the mall.
Ezekial: Yay, security at the mall! I'm gonna shine a flashlight.
Master Shake: My son is not gonna be secure for anything! He is going to be a professional basketball star because that is what his what his father demands of him.

Master Shake: Ready?
Ezekial: Yes!
Master Shake: Achieve on 3. One!
Ezekial: One!
Master Shake: Two!
Ezekial: Two!
Master Shake: Go team Shake!
Ezekial: Go team Shake!
Master Shake: Bounce pass! Pick and roll, D! Ugh! Hey! Come on! Box and one, come on! They got us in the zone D!
Frylock: Will you--Shake--Will you get off me Shake!
Master Shake: (Slaps Frylock) Personal foul! I cannot believe you did this! This is a friendly game, you asshole!
Meatwad: Go on, feed me the rock. I'm down low.
Master Shake: Seven foul shots from right here!
Frylock: Meatwad, your man's free over there. Get your man, Meatwad.
Meatwad: Shut up, boy, I got my man boxed in over here. You deal with your own business!
Ezekial: I wanna play racecar.
Master Shake: What are you doin' standing around?! Run to it', don't let the ball come to you! You go to the ball! Now--Now shoot, the clock's tickin'! Two-one-shoot!!
Frylock: Come on, come on! In the hole!
Meatwad: Go in, nothin' but net!
Ezekial: Yay! Yay!
Master Shake: Oooo!! Go in, go in! Get in that net you crazy whore! (Misses) Ooo, God you suck at basketball! (Rejects ball in Ezekial's face) Go back to your Mama!
Ezekial: (Cries)
Master Shake: Come here.

ezekiel6.mp3

Master Shake: Why do you disappoint me? Second by second, you waste my time.
Frylock: Shake Shake Shake, lets just have some fun out here, okay?
Master Shake: Why? He sucks. C'mon Suck-y, before you ruin the entirety of my future.
Frylock: Shake--
Master Shake: The only reason God doesn't erase you from the face of the Earth is because you amuse him somehow.
Frylock: Shake, you're outta line now!
Master Shake: Don't you tell me who's out of line! I'm his father! I know what's right for him!

Master Shake: All right, pal. You ready?
Ezekial: Yes!
Ezekial: One!
Master Shake: Two!
Ezekial: Two!
Master Shake: Go team Shake!
Ezekial: Go team Shake!
Master Shake: Okay. Second serve now. (Hits over the fence)
Frylock: Okay. Game.
Master Shake: Hey! Hey! Foot faulted! He foot faulted!
Ezekial: I'm a tennis star!
Master Shake: No-no-no-no-no. Don't look at your feet! Keep your eye on the ball, and then maybe it won't go sailing off over the fence, you see?
Meatwad: Well you hit it over the fence, boy, I saw it.
Master Shake: Please do not undercut me in front of the child. I am 30 or 40 years old and I do not need this.
Meatwad: Well which one? Is you 30 or 40?
Master Shake: I don't know! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! (Smashes racket) Thank you, that's nice.

ezekiel7.mp3

Carl: Shake! Shake! Wake up! What are you doin'?
Master Shake: My son...he doesn't listen.
Carl: Look, whatever. Get outta my car. It's freakin' three bucks a gallon--how long have you been running this engine? What, you think I should pay for this?!?
Master Shake: No...
Carl: Yeah, that's right. You're dead, you don't have to worry about it. Meanwhile, your bowels are leakin' all over the dash, stainin' my shag carpet. That's freakin' authentic red pleather, that ain't cheap.
Master Shake: Yeah...
Carl: Smells like friggin exhaust in...here. You know why I had car wash people put cocoa butter smell in there? Because I want prostitutes to feel welcome. I don't want them to feel like it's a death trap.
Master Shake: I'm sorry, Carl. It appears I failed you as well.
Carl: Look, I'm sorry. I should not have unloaded on you like that. Here's a steak knife. Go kill yourself on your lawn.

Master Shake: Hey Shake, what you doin'?
Master Shake: I only want my son to feel guilty for what he's doing to me. Drag him out here so he can watch me slit my own throat.
Meatwad: Man, he's inside, slaying the Chess Dragon.
Chess Dragon: King-E-2-to-E-3.
Ezekial: Bishop E5 to D4. Check.
Chess Dragon: King-E-3-to-E-103.
Ezekial: You can't do that! That square does not exist! That is a blatant violation of the governing rules!
Chess Dragon: King-S-U-C-to-K-I-T. (Dragon storms off breathing fire)
Ezekial: Yeah! Checkmate! You're the hippopotamus!
Meatwad: All right, yeah, Zeke! Ain't nobody never beat Chess Dragon! Not even me, and I'm retarded!
Frylock: This little guy beat Chess Dragon?
Master Shake: That's right! My son! My seed hath slain the Chess Dragon!
Frylock: Yeah, uh, about that. We need to talk.
Master Shake: What's there to talk about? The only talk I have is with the Olympic committee.
Frylock: No, I mean he's not your son. I know you've never had sex.
Master Shake: Ha! I've hit that.
Frylock: Hit what?
Master Shake: Booty.
Frylock: What? Where? Who? With what?
Master Shake: I will address each question as the time comes.
Frylock: Look, I checked your DNA when you were passed out in Carl's car; there's no match. In fact, Zeke is older than you are.
Ezekial: I'm 4000 years old!
Master Shake: Right! Like there's two talking milkshakes! (Dragon swoops in and takes Ezekial)
Ezekial: Flying! Flying! I'm havin' an adventure!
Frylock: There were...