b>Episode 62 - Global Grilling Click on the filename above the transcription to download the clip. Enjoy! Meatwad: (Shake Hacking) Come on; keep goin'. This ain't near enough. You need to pick up the pace. globalgrilling1.mp3 Meatwad: I ain't gonna sit around all day waitin' for you to make enough of this. Master Shake: How much snot is this gonna take?! Meatwad: It really all depends on how tall you want to make your mucus man. Master Shake: I do want him tall. Meatwad: Then keep on hackin', brotha. I'm seein' a lot of blood in there. Do we need to take five? Master Shake: I'm cleaned out! My snots on empty, man! Meatwad: Here, have one of these assortments of cheeses. Gouda, cheddar, provalone.. Master Shake: No, no no. This is not working. I need to be sick! Meatwad: Lick that doorknob. Master Shake: And lick it I shall. Frylock: What the hell are y'all doin'?! Meatwad: We're making us a mucus man. Frylock: Don't do that. You don't have all the tools. You need to something to heat the mucus so you can shape it. Master Shake: Don't tell me how to do it. Listen. Don't tell me how to do it. You tell him how to do it, and he'll tell me. Frylock: With this grill, you can heat and sculpt the mucus into any fun shape. The only limit is your imagination. Master Shake: Hmm. globalgrilling2.mp3 Master Shake: Is that a George Foreman grill? Frylock: Uh no, George Washington. Master Shake: Couldn't afford the real one, huh? Frylock: Oh, and like you can? Master Shake: Shut your..you shut your mouth! Meatwad: Where's it plug in? Frylock: It doesn't have to, see? Its made of wood. Master Shake: Wow, wood.. Frylock: Okay see, you have to rub the wooden grates together to generate the heat. You have to do it really fast..and it takes a long time..it's environmentally friendly! Master Shake: Yeah...major dick move right there... Master Shake: Dudes! Check. This. Out! globalgrilling3.mp3 Meatwad: Oh, yeah! We grillin' tonight! Master Shake: Now here's what's different about this, my friends. It uses actual pieces of the sun combined with some radioactive viles from Chernobyl, and I know this is interesting also to the ladies out there.. It uses it to heat burgers, steaks, chicken... no problem! And best of all, it's not even supposed to be inside this country! Frylock: This would incinerate mucus man, Shake. Master Shake: Not on extra low. (Gas hissing) Just a minute. Got a--it's gotta build up in the pit. Uh, hold on a minute. It's 'cause it's new. There she goes. That's that hum. Oh, I love that sound. Meatwad: Hey. Hey, maybe you ought to turn that thing down. Mucus man is melting here. Master Shake: He's not melting. He's chillaxing. If you can't speak the language, go back to Mexico-- where you were born and are from. Frylock: Ow! Damn it, Shake. What is this beam made of? Master Shake: You're noticing the patented flavor beam. This injects your dogs or whatever your meat of choice with this zesty, hickory-smoky, down-home zest. It's good, see? You want it more pink in the middle? Should've spoke up, 'cause this will not go backwards. Frylock: I'm not eating that. Master Shake: You can eat this now, or you can be hungry in a couple days when we run out of money for food. globalgrilling4.mp3 Carl: Yeah, I'll eat it. Give it to me. Master Shake: Carl! What in the hell are you doing on our property again? Carl: Oh, I just came to see why my doorknob's covered with snot. Then I saw you, and I connected the two. Meatwad: Hey Carl, how do you like your tube steak? Carl: Oh, I like to park it in some whore! Yeahh!! Meatwad: ...okay, lemme see if I got one of them. Carl: Ahhh, you set me up on that, it was too easy. globalgrilling5.mp3 Carl: You grillin? Master Shake: No, I'm curing cancer. Yes, we're grilling. Carl: Wow, damn. ..puttin' out some BTU's. I think those...are those clouds on fire? Master Shake: Oh you noticed that! Don't worry sir, it's just the flavor beam, doing its zesty magic! Carl: You smell burnin' hair? Frylock: Damn it, Shake. I told him not to mess with that damn thermostat. Master Shake: How do I get this to be cold?! I keep pressing it and pressing it and pressing it, and it won't get cold now! Frylock: 242 degrees?! Man, that's insane! Master Shake: That's what I've been sayin' for the last hour and a half, while you've been "Dreamin' of Jeanie." Frylock: Dammit, I think we're gonna have to freakin' call the landlord. The compressor's on the fritz again. Meatwad: Well, he...he may be gone. I...I wouldn't go out there. Frylock: And why not?! Meatwad: Watch this. (Flings a skillet out the front door, causing it to explode almost immediately) Master Shake: That was my Alton Brown saucepot! I use it to make my balsamic reduction! Dammit! You've seen me do it. Frylock: Shake! You left that grill on, didn't you? Master Shake: Uh... no. Frylock: Well then, why is it on?! Master Shake: I don't know. Uh.. it's in "self-cleaning" mode! Frylock: No, I think it's in "create-a-hole-in-the-ozone" mode, Shake. Someone needs to go out there now. And look who I'm looking at. Master Shake: All right, fine. I'll go out there. I need to use the pool anyway. Whoo! It is a steamer out--aah! Aah, aah, aah! Yeah, it feels great out here! Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! Open the door, open the door! Aah! globalgrilling6.mp3 Master Shake: Dammit! Who took my sunblock?! SPF 60 for fair skin?! Frylock: There ain't enough SPF in the world to protect you from this. Meatwad: We got all that cream cheese we won at the fair. Can you tan through that? Master Shake: It's worth a shot.. Meatwad: And it may be the only shot we have. Frylock: Or we could just shut the *&%$ grill off! Master Shake: Will you relax? Look. That thing's gonna shut the grill off in, like, two seconds. Frylock: Oh, my god, it's a tidal wave! Master Shake: I know what it is. globalgrilling7.mp3 Master Shake: Feel that cool water... So soothing! Meatwad: Yeah. Feel that polar bear.. up here.. chewing on my head. Frylock: Oh my God! This is a melted polar cap! Master Shake: No, no. Polar caps are traditionally cold. And this.. Oo, this is startin' to get hot! Oh hell! Frylock: We've got to get to that grill! Master Shake: I know. You said it, like, 93 times. Meatwad: Hire somebody. Hurry. Master Shake: Mex--Mexicans! They'll do it. They do anything. Who here knows Spanish? Meatwad: Carl may! His hair is dark. Master Shake: That's a good thought. I'm gonna ask him. globalgrilling8.mp3 Carl: No, no no!! My father's amateur porno! I love you Dad! And all those money shots! Frylock: Ow. Damn it. It's too damn hot. Master Shake: Frylock! Use your fries! Use them! Frylock: That's what I'm doing. Master Shake: Oh. Well, I couldn't see that from here. Meatwad: Look y'all, just stop bickering. We's all need to join together and thank God it's on extra low. Master Shake: Look, will you just blow it up like you blow up everything else? Frylock: You bought a grill with a nuclear core, Shake. That might make us a little bit worse off. Master Shake: Der. That's why it was illegal. Meatwad: So why can't you just throw it into space? Frylock: Well, I would, but I'd probably be destroyed in the process. Meatwad: So? Throw it into space. Master Shake: Yeah, really. What's the holdup? globalgrilling9.mp3 Meatwad: Y'all suck. I wish Superman was here. I'd say, "Hey Superman! You mow the lawn while you here?" And he'd be like, "Yeah, I'm Superman. I know how to work the mower. Mucusman: Hey. Who bought the grill? Frylock: He did. Master Shake: He did. Mucusman: Thanks! Meatwad: Oh, you're welcome Mucusman. Mucusman: This weather's perfect. I can finally breathe, and take over your dumbass planet. Narrator: Twelve years later, these suckers is still gettin' punked. Bitches. Frylock: Pass me some more of that cream cheese, please. Master Shake: I can't believe they eat this. There's no--there's no nutrition in it! Frylock: They don't eat it, they make more men with it, Shake. How many times do I have to tell you that? C: I can't do this anymore. I think a little chunk of brain came out last time. Frylock: Come on, Carl. You've got to! You've gotta have something in there, you gotta blow! globalgrilling10.mp3 Master Shake: Carl, don't you give up on me! I need you to lick this toilet seat! Come on, it's our only hope! Carl: No, I'm totally immune to them germs. I'm not spittin' up one more oyster. Today they got to deal with me, on my terms. Meatwad: What is this dissension in the ranks? Someone refuses to blow? Carl: No, I got somethin' you can blow all right. Frylock: Carl, no! Carl: Why is he the king?! Master Shake: Because he is the smartest and best..looking. And his w