Aqua Teen Adventures - Premiere Online Source for Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Episode 59 - Dickesode

Click on the filename above the transcription to download the clip. Enjoy!

dickesode1.mp3

Meatwad: Come on back..
Frylock: Okay. Step..there's a step..
Carl: I'm losing my grip here.. Where do you want it? Where do you want it?!
Frylock: Step down!
Meatwad: There!
Master Shake: Woo! Was that thing heavy?
Frylock: Dammit Shake! Did you have to order the Super-Size trough?!
Master Shake: Hydration is essential!

Master Shake: (Drinks) Uh that's so good (takes drink) and I need 85 (takes drink) gallons of soda per day and plus (takes drink) it comes with an edible handtruck. The tires are chocolate.

dickesode2.mp3

Meatwad: Hey y'all, look at this! Just rip it and win!
Frylock: Oh, what'd you win Meatwad?
Meatwad: Twenty cents off my next Wasabi Fries! All right! You see, they fill the fries with wasabi sauce through a high-tensile needle..
Frylock: I know Meatwad, I know. I saw the ad too.
Meatwad: And they good!
Frylock: Yeah, I'm sure they're not..

Meatwad: Do yours, rip it and win.
Master Shake: "20 cents off the next order of Wasabi Fries"!!!
Meatwad: You see, they fill the french fry up with wasabi sauce-
Frylock: Yeah, we know, okay, we know.

dickesode3.mp3

Meatwad: See what you win, Carl.
Carl: Uhh. Tonight you will get your dick ripped off.. That doesn't sound right, does it? Here, read this..
Frylock: Tonight you will get your dick ripped off..
Carl: Is that a prize?

Frylock: Uh you might want to check with the manager on this, Carl.
Master Shake: No, no, no! Don't do that! Can't you read? He's the guy that rips it off!

dickesode4.mp3

Commercial Guy: Just grab the bottom of the cup, rip it and win! Prizes include a new car, or a discount on Teriyaki fries. At Wong Burger, when it's right, it's Wong! ....some customers may get their dicks ripped off.
Carl: Right there! Right there, did you hear that?
Meatwad: Oh yeah, about them Teriyaki Fries?
Carl: No, no no no no. The last part, the low, fast part. Rewind, go back!
Meatwad: We ain't got no Tivo.
Master Shake: That was live, Carl.
Meatwad: But we can still go back through the power of imagination.
Master Shake: I like the way you're thinkin', go get the puppets.
Meatwad: Okay!

Master Shake: This is gold. Alright, let's go, roll it.

dickesode5.mp3

Meatwad: Just grab the bottom of the cup, rip it and win! Prizes include a new car, or a discount on Teriyaki fries. At Wong Burger, when it's right, it's Wong! ....some customers may get their dicks ripped off.
Carl: I frickin' knew he said that! I knew he said that!
Meatwad: What? About the Teriyaki Fries?

Frylock: Oh, no. Carl, hide.
Carl: I ain't hidin from nobody. Who is it?
Frylock: I don't know, but they've got sharp hooks and long necklaces made out of dicks.
Carl: Uh, okay, uh just to be safe, I-I-I I'm gonna hide down here.
Meatwad: Carl, In here. No one won't never look in here. Don't no one never want to get near here.
Carl: You, uh you sure about this.
Meatwad: Oh, just do it. (Shake pushes him in and closes the door; A second later the door opens up again and spits out Carl)
Carl: AAHHHHHHH!
Meatwad: Whoops, my bad.

dickesode6.mp3

Frylock: I told y'all this closet is not to be opened! It is a horrible, horrible place in there.
Meatwad: Well, there's a knob there!
Frylock: Why do you think I put the sign there?! Did you think I was being cute?!

Meatwad: I don't know.

dickesode7.mp3

Master Shake: Ding dong, the dick is dead, Carl!!
Carl: I'm gonna go in, I'm in this cabinet.

Frylock: Umm, can I help you.
Rice #1: Yes you can!
Frylock: Uh, you're from Wong's, aren't you?
Rice #1: Yes I am! So, who's gonna get their dick ripped off tonight?
Meatwad: Well, he ain't here.
Rice #2: So who's not here?
Meatwad: Carl. The guy that it ain't happenin' to.
Rice #1: So someone won.
Frylock: I don't even know what you're talking about. Nobody won anything here.
Rice #1: Mind if I look around?
Frylock: Yes, I do mind.
Rice #1: Scratch off and win.
Rice #2: Every cup's a winner!
Rice #1: A 1 out of 3 chance off getting your dick ripped off.
Frylock: Dude, look, you're wasting you're time because no one won that.
Rice #1: Oh well that's not what he said.
Rice #2: Who won it little man?
Rice #1: Cause someone's dick is coming with me tonight!
Master Shake: Next door and shut up!
Frylock: Shake!
Master Shake: I'm trying to watch this show will you shut the hell up. God!
Frylock: Goodbye!

dickesode8.mp3

Frylock: Carl, come on out.
Carl: Are they gone?
Frylock: Yeah, to your house. They're going to turn it inside out, Carl. Until he gets ahold of your dick.
Master Shake: Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.. Hey, hey! He's over here! Where you goin'?!
Frylock: Would you shut up?!

dickesode9.mp3

Frylock: Apprently, Carl, when you bought that medium drink you entered a binding contract that enables them to rip off your dick.
Carl: Oh no..
Frylock: Yeah. And there's really nothing I can do about it.

Rice #1: Hello?
Mr. Wongburger: Did you get the dick yet?
Rice #1: We're working on it Mr. Wongburger.
Mr. Wongburger: Finally tonight, I will have enough dicks to complete the Dickship and return to Dick planet.
Rice #1: Yes, Mr. Wongburger.

Carl: How we gonna get out of this, Fryman?
Frylock: Well, I have an idea, but it's not very good.

dickesode10.mp3

Mr Wong Burger: Those dicks! Will you please.. somebody stack them better?!
Rice Worker: The dicks won't hold together, Mr. Wong Burger!
Rice Worker: We're gonna have to wrap these dicks with something. Maybe with a, a dick!
Mr Wong Burger: Are you telling me that I don't know dick?! If anybody knows how to build a ship out of dicks it is me!
Rice Workers: Yes, Mr Wong Burger.
Mr Wong Burger: Because I am King Dick!
Rice Worker: We're missing a dick for the nose cone!
Mr Wong Burger: The dickship will never hold together! What's taking them so long?! He entered a binding legal contract the moment he took a sip!
Rice Worker: You don't think they're...dickin' around over there do you?
Mr Wong Burger: I doubt it. They're professional dick hunters. They crave dick, as we all do.

Frylock: You can get up now, Carl, I think we're done.
Carl: Aw man.
Frylock: Feel alright?
Carl: Where'd you get these pain killers? They're awesome.
Frylock: Yeah maybe you should, just like, use pills forever.

dickesode11.mp3

Carl: Yeah, you're right. This was a very bad idea.
Master Shake: Hey Carlena! Wow!
Carl: Oh. I get it. You put me under, dress me like a woman, took pictures of me. Laughs on me right?
Frylock: Well, no Carl.. see.. You're not just dressed like a woman.
Carl: Do go on, please.
Frylock: Well it's pretty simple really. I removed your dick so no one will have no need to remove it.
Carl: So the giant blood stain is a.. what is that? Me having my period I guess? Heheh
Frylock: It could be. Or it could just be the spot where I snipped your dick off.
Meatwad: You takin' this pretty good, Carl. Kudos.

Carl: Seems like this whole thing kinda defeats the purpose, ya know?
Frylock: Yep, and what I just did was a very bad idea.

dickesode12.mp3

Carl: Think maybe I could have my dick back? Or wait, you know what? Maybe you should keep my dick. So you could a.. hump yourself!
Master Shake: Technically, that would not be doing yourself. Just for the record.

dickesode13.mp3

Meatwad: Hey Carl, look at there. You could still pick your dick outta the garbage.
Carl: Is that it? Is that mine? Of course it is, it's got that curve to the left.

(Rice workers steal Carl's dick)
Carl: NO! NO! DON'T TAKE IT!
Frylock: Hang on, hang on, hang on. I have a better plan. Meatwad, you got a big dick, right?
Meatwad: Oh yeah, huge. But I need it, for tonight.
Frylock: But it's detachable, so that helps us.
Master Shake: No! No way I'm having a dick made of hamburger!
Frylock: I'm not giving it to you.
Master Shake: Good, cause I don't need it, cause I'm huge between the legs!
Meatwad: Who wants to see my dick? (Turns into Abe Lincoln holding sword) See, Dick Nixon. Old tricky dick.
Frylock: I have another idea.

Rice Worker: All the dicks are polished, sir.
Mr. Wongburger: Probably needs just a couple more dick rotors, maybe a dick wheel or two.
Rice Worker: Yes Mr. Wongburger.
Mr. Wongburger: And, uuhhh, do we have to fill it up with some dicks.
Rice Worker: Yes, we gotta full tank of dicks!
Mr. Wongburger: Full tank, good, good, good. Wall to wall dick carpeting.
Rice Worker: Yes, you've mentioned that. Mr. Wongburger.

Master Shake: Aw, dick!
Frylock: Shake!
Master Shake: Every where I turn it's dicks!
Mr. Wongburger: Intruders! Stop them!
Rice Worker: Close the dick gate! (Dicks fall from ceiling)

dickesode14.mp3

Mr Wong Burger: What're you doing touching my dicks?
Frylock: You can't just run around ripping off people's dicks, to make a giant dickship.
Mr Wong Burger: I have an advanced degree in Dicknology!
Frylock: You're a madman, Wong Burger! This ship will never fly!
Mr Wong Burger: Well how else am I supposed to get home?!
Frylock: Call someone to pick you up!
Mr Wong Burger: I will...

Master Shake: Hey, how we gonna know which one of these is Carl's?
Frylock: It don't matter, just get one.
Master Shake: You grab one! I'm not touchin those dicks!

dickesode15.mp3

Frylock: Hopefully the swelling in your chest should go down.. once the testosterone fully circulates around your body.
Carl: Ohh. What about my voice?
Frylock: Oh, I added a third testicle to speed up the process. I'll have to cut it out later. Otherwise you'll just go insane with rage.

Master Shake: Woah, check it out, somebody's suing Wongburger!
Tv Announcer: Wongburger could not be reached for comment as he left the press conference in a giant spaceship made of dicks. Which crashed into a building made of dicks. Apparantly that's what the building was made of if you've ever seen it from the interstate. Clearly the act of a total, a total, uh, you know, a total. uh, what's the word I'm looking for here? Uhh, total, uh...

dickesode16.mp3

Master Shake: While you guys were busy wastin', I found a perfectly good hot dog in the trash. Sittin' right on top of two soggy walnuts. Mmm. Still in the wrapper. I mean, there's hair on 'em, but hey a little brush off.. delicious. Mmm. This tastes like blood. Wow. This hot dog.. I think the bun is blood flavored. Mm. Yeah, definitely blood flavored.