Aqua Teen Adventures - Premiere Online Source for Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Deleted Scenes

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Carl: Oh, yeah. I'm looking at it right now. She is so pimped out. It's awesome! Freakin' hypno rims, plasma screens. I got a tank filled with fuzzy navels. You just shoot it out the back and get a girl wasted.

deletedscenes1.mp3

Carl: (on phone) No, I did it with a home equity loan. It's kinda risky, but uh, it's gonna be worth it, when I start rakin' in the p******g! Ha ha ha ha ha! Okay, I love you too, Mom, I know you gotta go. Ten dollars? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa what are you coming at me with this ten dollars business? Alright, look. We'll talk about your food situation over the holidays. Right now I gotta cruise down the... What the f**k?! Hey!
Master Shake: Hey, how are you?
Carl: Where are my rims?

Master Shake: Oh, those are brake rotors.
Carl: No duh, jackass! I want to know where my freakin' hypno rims are!
Frylock: Oh, hypno rims. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I read about those. Aren't they supposed to spin at the frequency of the female brain wave, or something like that? And confuse women into thinking the driver is desirable when he's actually not, right?
Carl: Those--those are the ones, yeah! Where are they?
Frylock: Oh, yeah, they're gone.

deletedscenes2.mp3

Ignignokt: We have your rims now, fat man!
Err: Check it out!
Ignignokt: Now we are off on a quest for honies that are beyond fly!
Err: We are gonna get so laid!
Ignignokt: Err, please. Inuendo.
Err: In your endo, man!
Carl: Get down here! I'm gonna whoop your space-ass!
Err: Well come on! Do it big man! You ain't got the nads...oh my God!

Ignignokt: You will never know where we are, fat man.
Err: That's right!
Ignignokt: We can be anywhere at any given time.
Err: We're gonna circle the mall, biz-nits.
Ignignokt: For any dumb reason in our head.
Carl: You're gonna give me them freakin' rims. Ow! What's that? It tingles.
Ignignokt: He has breached the force field.
Err: Hey, man, open the force field.
Ignignokt: Damage to quadrant 4-a.
Err: And now you die.
Ignignokt: You just have bedroots. We have quadroots.
Err: Engage woofer speed. (Squeals away)
Meatwad: Mmm! Schnapps.
Ignignokt: This, however, is your problem. (Squeals away again)
Carl: For the record, they're supposed to say "I'm Up for Grabs".
Meatwad: It don't.
Carl: But I do have crabs. You guys knew that, though.
Meatwad: How you pay for all this?
Master Shake: Hey, where you going, Carl?
Carl: Guess I'm gonna walk up to the strip club and see if they take credit cards.
Master Shake: Carl, that's over a mile from here. You will not survive!
Carl: I blew all my money on my car! And it won't move! What am I supposed to do here?!
Master Shake: To get women? And it's taken you this long to ask the master, huh? But first, I want to hear you say it.
Carl: Say what?
Master Shake: "Please, master, teach me the ways of the female form". Please, master-- watch me, how I do it. Watch the eyes. Watch the eyes. (Hard cut to Shake's black eye) And that's why he'll never learn.

(Shake watching video in a studio)
Master Shake: Mmm. That's a nice match cut. Oh, hey, there. You know, what you just witnessed was a deleted scene from my movie entitled "Untitled Master Shake Project". Funny, right? Funny thing is, it wasn't even good enough to make the final print-- which isn't done yet. Ha ha ha ha. Hey, let's take a look at another fun clip that you'll never see in theaters. Roll that clip!
Meatwad: What clip? I rolled a doobie. Ha ha ha ha.
Master Shake: Roll the clip, you d***. I swear to G**, why did I-- I swear to f***..
Meatwad: All right, I'll do it, I'll do it. Come on. I'm doing it.
Master Shake: Ahem.
Meatwad: All right. Here we go.

deletedscenes3.mp3

Master Shake: Do it, please.
Meatwad: Roll that clip from Raydon, cause I wanna see that monster, boy!
Master Shake: Excuse me just a moment. You wanna see a monster?
Meatwad: Don't hit me, no!
Master Shake: Here's your monster!
Meatwad: No, stop it!
Master Shake: Here kiss the monster in the face.
Meatwad: No, don't! Please!
Master Shake: You make me do this to you! Sorry about that, folks. Technical difficulties...
Meatwad: Is that all you got?

Master Shake: Ha. There are plenty of monsters in Master Shake Project. Here's another unfortunate clip that was poorly written, poorly animated, and poorly executed. To top it all off, had nothing to do with the story... Which is very compelling. Roll the clip, crap stain. Give me that! What the-- What the hell are you doing?
Meatwad: Reading.
Master Shake: Which episode is-- which issue is this? Ah! Yes. Toll that clip. Roll that hot sticky honey-coated clip. Quick, please.

Ignignokt: Hello. Over here. Would you please get your piece of crap out of the road, or perhaps I should move it for you.
Err: This is our gift to you.
Ignignokt: Our liability coverage is zero. Our balls, however, are enormous.
Err: Hangin' brain. Ya get it?
Oglethorpe: Hold your horses. Hold on.
Ignignokt: And now they're broken.
Err: Hey man, why don't you just like, go around?
Ignignokt: I will go around, Err. And around, and around, and around yet again.
Err: Check out the yard, check out the yard, check out the yard!!
CG: That's going to cost a lot of money to fill.
Oglethorpe: Goodbye fat man. I will catch you on the flip side.
Ignignokt: We have no remorse.
Carl: Nah, don't do this-- (Gets hypnotized by the rims) The rims...
Ignignokt: That's right, fat man. Look directly into your rims and let the waves of hypnosis wash over your tiny brain. For you are now our slave.
Err: You must be very hot in those pants of yours.
Carl: Yes master.
Err: Remove them at once and walk directly towards downtown!
Carl: It is very cool out here now. And I shall tell the people in town this just before my arrest.
Ignignokt: Wait. Err. Our new slave can be of vast importance to us.
Err: Yes, you're right.
Ignignokt: For I have a plan I do not have yet.
Err: And grab your butt while you're doin' that! Haha!
Ignignokt: Yes, grab your butt and tell us, Chubkins, what were you doing hanging out with those zoo animals?
Err: Yes slave, tell us out in the road while you feed this broomstick up your ass.
Ignignokt: Good call.
Carl: They come here for the Insane-o-- That hurts--flex.
Ignignokt: You will tell us about this "Insane-o-flex".
Carl: Is this far enough, master?
Ignignokt: Until the road dead-ends.
Carl: The stick has met with resistance!
Err: Your butt requires more wood!

Master Shake: Nice match cut. What happens next?! You'll never know! Who done it?!
Meatwad: Who done what? The movie?
Master Shake: Hah! Finally! Yes! Thank you! The project was supposed to be a mystery, once again raped by Hollywood, and as a result, we end up with un-mysterious clips like this which you better be so ready to roll.
Meatwad: I just left there.
Master Shake: Well maybe you should've left here. And fix your tie!
Meatwad: It's on straight.
Master Shake: You're in Hollywood, baby!
Meatwad: I want to be on camera, 'cause I look good!
Master Shake: What're you a bus boy at Denny's?!

Ignignokt: Now, fat man. The food creatures have the piece. So what must you do?
Carl: Write 'Fartmonger' on my face in permanent ink, master.
Err: Hahahah! That's right! And then--and then shave off half your 'stache! Hahah!
Ignignokt: But with your pants pooled around your ankles like an ocean of shame.
Err: Yeah, man! It's like you're standing around in the shame surf because you vacationed on incompetent island!
Carl: I shall shave with this hedge clipper as I anticipate all that you desire, master.
Oglethorpe: Make him tape his big, fat, hairy butt cheeks together. Hahah. You know, so he couldn't poop. Cause that would be funny.
Ignignokt: That would be boring, and you are a child.
Oglethorpe: You get to do all the fun stuff!
Master Shake: Carl, whoo, Jeeze.
Meatwad: Whoa, Carl, what are you doin'?!
Carl: Heheh hey buddy!
Master Shake: You join a fraternity or somethin'? Lamda Phi Buttplug or what?
Carl: Just thought I'd come by and see if you wouldn't mind bustin' these eggs all over my body.
Master Shake: Carl, for you, of course I would.
Carl: Make sure you matte it in my body hair. Oh, and also I want to check out the Insane-o-Flex. Do a little uh, workin' out, you know what I mean?

deletedscenes4.mp3

Carl: Mind if I sit down? Do a few reps with ya?
Frylock: You wanna take the broom out of your ass first, or?
Carl: No, I like it there. I don't know why, but I do.
Master Shake: Sure we couldn't talk you into a pair of shorts?
Carl: He-hey! You found the missing piece! That's friggin' great!
Frylock: Well, yeah. I'm having some trouble getting it in.
Carl: Well, uh, let me see if I can help you with that. I'm good at getting stuff in. Ha ha ha, sucker! Oh, dammit!

Ignignokt: Well done, slave. Well done.
Carl: Yes, master.
Ignignokt: And now to complete--
Err: To feed it up your ass!
Carl: Yes, master.
Emory: Hey, I don't want to be a downer or anything, but um, I mean, where's the rest of it, man?
Ignignokt: There is no 'rest' of it? Is there?
Oglethorpe: Damn it!
Ignignokt: There is, isn't there.
CG: Impossible!

Master Shake: When we showed this to audiences in the Mall of America, their responses were varied. Ludicrous was a word that we heard. Uh, deplorable. That was one. Unwatchable! Yeah. But all in all, they were good.

deletedscenes5.mp3

Meatwad: When I was at that mall, the security guard took me down to the bathroom and said "This is how you don't touch people." and I says "What?", and... I shouldn't have said that, should I?
Master Shake: Are you... are you serious?
Meatwad: Okay, let's roll a clip from "Meatwad's, Disco Safari Party Explosion"

Meatwad: Uh uh uh uh. Come on, now. Give it up, now. You got it, you got it, you got it girl, go on. Come on now. (Gun cocks, shoots screen) Oh man, come on now!
Master Shake: Yeah. Well. I liked the explosion part.
Meatwad: That's bad!
Master Shake: It's gritty. It's real. And it's gone.
Meatwad: That's all right, that's all right. I dubbed it.
Master Shake: Heheh. Good night everybody!

Ignignokt: Word up, bitch. We're scoring big with your wheels.
Err: We got it going on!
Ignignokt: Easy, baby. Daddy's free all day.
Err: So is Err! Free for sex!
Meatwad: They're scoring all up in there.
Carl: Yeah, I see that. They're doing what I should be doing now--because they got my rims!
Err: Hey man, did it work?
Ignignokt: Affirmative, Err.
Err: Awesome.
Ignignokt: They are sweating beads of jealousy.

deletedscenes6.mp3

Err: How come we ain't got no fly honies yet, man? We circled that mall.. we circled it like three times!
Ignignokt: We circled a forest, Err. That's why squirrels are following us.
Err: You said that was a mall!
Ignignokt: I said that probably was the mall.
Err: Maybe we should probably get a map!
Ignignokt: You should probably shut up from now on!

Master Shake: Hahah. Oh, when will they learn? Heheh. Let's take a look at another fun clip from my movie entitled, "Untitled Master Shake Project".

Err: That's right buddy, keep sawing.
Carl: (Sawing through his leg) Oh man I am glad you told me to do this.
Ignignokt: It's not even sharp and he's actually making progress.
Frylock: Carl?
Carl: Oh hey, come on in!
Oglethorpe: Hide!
Carl: Yeah, I'm just trying to saw my leg off with a butter knife.
Frylock: Carl, no! Damn! Why would you want to do something like that?
Carl: Well 'cause I got, you know, hypnotized by my rims, there. And uh, I got a bunch of crazy aliens in the bathroom tellin' me what to do. And I'm doing it.
Ignignokt: Well, Fryman, you survived his captivating tale. But we have your precious part, and we will--
Frylock: (Hypnotizes them) And you'll what?
Ignignokt: We will...What-what did you want us to do?
Err: We are here for you.
Master Shake: Whoa! Look who it is! It's Carl, my next-door neighbor from Untitled Master Shake Project.
Carl: Oh, God. Oh.

deletedscenes7.mp3

Carl: Hey there, happy man.
Master Shake: Hey guy. You still got that broom up your butt from the film?
Carl: Yeah, actually I do. You can't see it through the sweat pants here.
Master Shake: Huh?
Carl: Yeah, that's broom.
Master Shake: Yeah, those are some crazy special effects, huh?
Carl: No, no. I really did have it up my ass, and it's still there. Here, let me show ya.
Master Shake: No, no.
Carl: Oh, no. It's not trouble. I wanna do this. I want this to fail.
Master Shake: So yeah, I can see it.
Carl: See, uh I was able to trim off most of the brissels so I can sit without too much pressure on my head.

Master Shake: Someone's got writers block!
Carl: My HMO won't do nothin' about it cause uh, they dropped me.
Master Shake: Wow. Let's cut away from you.

deletedscenes8.mp3

Carl: You guys keep it this cool in here all the time? Talk about hard nipples here.
Frylock: Uh, Carl. You might need to take care of something before you put those pants on.
Carl: Oh, well that's why my neck is so friggin' stiff! Look, grab that other end and sorta just, uh... pull.
Meatwad: I'm gonna do it fast!
Carl: Very gently, very gently! Gently! Gently, gently! Ahhhhhhhh!
Meatwad: Oh shut up, I know it hurts.
Carl: Okay. Wait wait, I don't understand. I mean, if you took it out, I mean, then, why is it still up here?
Master Shake: Oh, we had some reshoots!

Carl: I lost like three days there.
Master Shake: We'll talk about it later.
Carl: No, no, no, no, no, we'll talk about it now! Now I'm confused here. I thought you cut this scene out.
Master Shake: Look, I will admit that test audiences liked it. But where's the footage Carl? I don't know, cause I lost it!
Meatwad: Well we didn't have no effects budget, so we had to do it for real. Hey, hey you want me to pull it out again?
Master Shake: Yes! Live! For the very first time. Except for in that previous deleted scene. Meatwad will free the broomstick from the dank, hairy tomb of Carl's--
Meatwad: He's gone.
Master Shake: What?
Meatwad: Yeah, he's gone.
Master Shake: Oh yeah. That's cause I told him to go. That's what directors do, they direct. And I directed him to go, which he did. Good. Good scene, Carl! Now, let's look at this next failed clip.

Master Shake: I don't have a bed!
Err: If one does as Err does enough times, one becomes as Err is.
Master Shake: Would you be a dear and hang a sheet over those guys? They're givin' me the creeps; I can't sleep with them. Let's go! Time to start doing what I ordered you to.
Frylock: Look up here. (Attempts to hypnotize) We need to motivate and find a way to stop that machine!
Master Shake: Uhhh. Will you set the alarm for noon? I don't want to let tomorrow get away from me.
Ignignokt: The rims don't work on certain brains.
Master Shake: Well I don't have a brain. I am very proud to say that. Out loud. All it does is get in the way of my cat-like instincts.

Master Shake: Wow, huh? We felt that since we cut out anything having to do with rims or Insane-o-Flex or a wad of meat or Frylock, that there would be a slight continuity error having Frylock at the end of the scene here when he was otherwise banished from the rest of the film. (Sigh) I cut that scene but the interplay in it is so damn good it rips my heart out every time I have to watch it. I gotta tell ya, it hurts. You know what? Roll it again.
Meatwad: Okay.
Master Shake: Rewind it first, though. Yes from there--no, too far-- back. Just a little more. No, just a little bit back. Whoa, whoa, you just passed it. Back. Back--no no, now you passed it again. Forwards forwards forwards for--stop, too far. Back, back, stop, stop it! Perfect! That's where the magic starts.

Master Shake: I don't have a bed!
Err: If one does as Err does enough times, one becomes as Err is.
Master Shake: Would you be a dear and hang a sheet over those guys? They're givin' me the creeps; I can't sleep with them. Let's go! Time to start doing what I ordered you to.
Frylock: Look up here. (Attempts to hypnotize) We need to motivate and find a way to stop that machine!
Master Shake: Uhhh. Will you set the alarm for noon? I don't want to let tomorrow get away from me.
Ignignokt: The rims don't work on certain brains.
Master Shake: Well I don't have a brain. I am very proud to say that. Out loud. All it does is get in the way of my cat-like instincts.

Master Shake: (Cries) See, I hate to lose that scene. See, I was trying to make it look like the Mooninites had fired a giant bullet. And I didn't have enough money to paint him into a hobbit so he could just run across the countryside in the background and no one would care about what he does. Dammit! All in all, still, it's right on the money.
Meatwad: Yep.
Master Shake: Solid mark.
Meatwad: Very solid. Like my stool. You've moved me.
Master Shake: (Sighs) You know, I hesitate to show you this next scene, because it is the ending of my movie. But you know what, it's so damn good. It's got feeling.. You know what? Let's go full throttle! Screw the suits! You just got Christmas early this year, kids! I'm rollin' it for you!

deletedscenes9.mp3

Master Shake: Baby, I want us to grow old together. Have babies. Baby! One, one baby. I hate kids, but I know you love em. I'll let you out of your box to feed it. Or maybe we could just cut some holes in the box. You read me, baby? Hey, come over here. Alright, now felate me as I eat this expensive ham.

Master Shake: And she does. Twice! But we don't have to show it on the screen! It's so boring when you watch a movie and all they show is big, beautiful breasts. And sex scenes. One after another.
Meatwad: Hehehe! She hit you, boy.
Master Shake: I'm not saying that it won't make the movie, but I've been told by many people that it's not.
Meatwad: That ain't in the movie? Bullsh**! Dang executives always screwin' up the art...of cinema. Cinnamon?
Master Shake: Hey, I'm still fighting for it.
Meatwad: Cinnamon.
Master Shake: 'Cause that's what the core of this character is all about. Family. Love. Keeping jewel thieves from stealing the--the jewel stuff. The royal ruby of Aruba. There's a lot about that in there, too. I have a--I break into a museum. You know, it's 90 minutes. You can pack a lot of sh** in 90 minutes. All in all, it's an action, romance, horror, comedy. It's a rom-acti-horr-edy. And you're going to pay me 10 bucks to see it.
Meatwad: You bet I will! When's it come out?
Master Shake: This Christmas. And spring. Both. You know, when it's re-released. In color. Hey. Should we do it?
Meatwad: Do-do what?
Master Shake: Show them a clip that actually made the movie!
Meatwad: I don't care. What movie?
Master Shake: All right! Then it's settled, time to roll that bitch! Yes. And scene. That's a wrap. For the old Aqua Teen Deleted Scene Movie Special. Until next time, I'll see you on the pan over to the old trucking shack until it fades to black. (Gun cocks) Ah, Carl. I see you found a little prop gun there for youself.
Carl: No, no, no, it's not a prop gun, it's a shot gun. They use it for uh, for death.
Meatwad: Do we have any more time left?
Carl: Well you do.
Meatwad: Because I want to roll "Meatwad Sensation Celebration Disco Party Town"
Carl: Go ahead, knock yourself out.
Master Shake: Hey Carl.
Carl: Alright knucklehead. Why don't we roll that clip again? I want you to show me the moment that I get pissed off at you.
Master Shake: Carl, look, we have narrative issues.
Carl: No, I can see that.
Master Shake: The second act was flabby, no help from you. We had to fire the caterer, and the studio wanted those broom shots. Not me.
Carl: Oh, it's them. Not you. Oh, I see.
Master Shake: I wanted to go further. I said, let's do CGI. They said flatly, "No". They wanted gritty, realism.
Carl: No, I'm a method actor, I understand that, yeah.

deletedscenes10.mp3

Carl: Where do you want it? The heart or the brain?
Master Shake: Nah, De Niro would've shoved a broom up his ass. All I would've had to say was "Bobby, we are thinking about the guy's got a broom in his--Boom, and it would've been done.
Carl: Oh, I know, I know.
Master Shake: You gotta know what it feels like up there,
Carl: Where is your brain?
Master Shake: Know what it's like to have it up your butt!
Carl: How about I just blow your straw off? That would be funny.
Master Shake: It's gotta be an extention of yourself before you can act it.
Carl: It's time for your close-up (shoots Shake)
Meatwad: How do you like me now?