Aqua Teen Adventures - Premiere Online Source for Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Episode 54 - Hypno-Germ

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Oglethorpe: Dude--!

hypnogerm1.mp3

Frylock: Shake, come in here for a second.
Master Shake: Hey, why don't you just come in here? It'll be quicker.
Meatwad: Oooo, I heard that. Give him three seconds now. 1...2...
Frylock: Shake, will you please get in here!
Master Shake: Ach..
Meatwad: He beat my projection.
Master Shake: Just go see what he wants and then tell me about it afterwards.
Meatwad: Okay. Shake come in here!
Master Shake: Ach. God, why must I be cursed with such popularity? What? What? Get out your cameras, I'm only signing for five minutes; that's it!

Frylock: Take a look at this, Shake.
Master Shake: I can see it from here, it's a toilet seat. And you're a disgusting perv for having it.
Frylock: Take a closer look.
Master Shake: Wow! You've discovered germs! Now how about you go discover soap!
Frylock: This is the same toilet seat that you sat on at that gas station in Branson. And it's covered with Hypnogerms!

hypnogerm2.mp3

Master Shake: That is a lie and you are liar for saying that. I've never been to Branson in my life.
Frylock: Don't tell me you don't remember that. It was just last week!
Meatwad: Yeah, you ate that batch of bad ribs after the Gatlin Brothers concert and made Frylock blow the door off that truckstop bathroom because you said you couldn't wait for the bathroom key; squeezin' your butt together tryin' to keep it in.
Master Shake: I don't even know Charles Branson. Someone's losin' their mind, Jack, because that never happened. He's already lost his. I'm lookin' at you, big boy.

(Flashback)
Master Shake: Come on come on come on come on just blow the door open, I can't hold it any more!! Ahh!! Oh thank God. Wow, it's still just coming.
Frylock: Hold it right!
Meatwad: I got it up side right side down.
Master Shake: Where's the paper?!
Meatwad: Hey, I'm the director. You are the key grip.

Master Shake: Hey, I want to see this again. Rewind. Yeah, that's not me. I mean, it's just, it's clearly not me.
Frylock: Well you're entitled to your dumbass opinion on where you think you were but the fact is you didn't put paper on that toilet seat and I'm afraid you might be infected by Hypnogerms.
Master Shake: Really? And that's what you think, huh? Hold on-- I think I may be able to take care of this. Hey!! Get in here!

hypnogerm3.mp3

Master Shake: Tell 'em I never been to Branson.
Filing Cabinet: He's never been there!
Master Shake: See?
Frylock: Uhh.. see what?
Master Shake: Tell him again. Maybe slow it down for him.
Filing Cabinet: He has never been there.
Files: He's never been there!
Master Shake: All right, all right! Will everybody settle down please? We're not deaf! Okay.
Frylock: Uhh, who are you talkin' to?
Master Shake: You're serious? Hey, I can be stupid too. Tell 'em who I'm talking to.
Wall: He's talkin' to the basketball.
Master Shake: Hey, where you been man? ' was lookin' for ya! I called you last Christmas, your Mom said the chicken face was on bone row.
File Cabinet: He's pulling your chain!
Wall: Yeah, I'm the basketball.
Master Shake: Yeah!
Basketball: Love is a basketball in chain, brother. Come on!
Master Shake: I know!
Basketball: That's what freed the fish man.
Wall: Yeah, I'm the basketball.
Master Shake: I meant to tell them that, it's only a matter of time.
Basketball: Time? Heh, time is an illusion.
Wall: Yeah, I'm the basketball.
Basketball: The only time now is party time. Are we clear?
Master Shake: Come on!!
Wall: Yeah, I'm the basketball.

Basketball: Lovely.
Master Shake: You so got that from a beer commercial! See, I told ya. These guys are totally out of control!

hypnogerm4.mp3

Master Shake: Don't squeeze the pancake batter. Hey, no. Don't interrupt. I'm talkin' to him!
Meatwad: So..what kinda germs he got there?
Frylock: Hypnogerms, Meatwad. Their only interest is to control your mind.
Master Shake: No tree skirts!
Meatwad: Oh yeah, that's right, and I'm an asshole for asking.

Master Shake: Mind control! You gotta have mind control! If you want to take control of your mind! Daddy, thank you!

hypnogerm5.mp3

Master Shake: You sir, you got a nice young lady with you there. What's your name?
Phil Cabinet: Phil Cabinet.
Master Shake: You precious little thing. Where ya from, Phil?
Phil Cabinet: We're from kill yourself.
Master Shake: All right! Phil from kill yourself. And who's this with you? Rroowrr.
Phil Cabinet: This is my sixth-month old and her name is wear a hat made out of foil. This is my wife lock yourself in a cold dark room.
Wife: Hi.
Master Shake: And how long you two lovely people been married?
Wife: Oh, about smear yourself with garbage and try to cross the freeway.
Phil Cabinet: We just celebrated our eat your own dung.
Master Shake: Great to hear, yummy too. Hey, Phil. Thanks for comin' out.

Master Shake: Like the shirt, both of you! You match!

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Master Shake: Ladies and Gentleman, let's hear it for Tulip Sniper!
Tulip Sniper: Thank you, thank you very much. Die! Die, all of you!

hypnogerm6.mp3

Meatwad: I got a two part question. One, what's he doin' now? Two, should we light him on fire?
Frylock: He's probably fallen prey to one of their hideous off-Broadway productions.
Meatwad: But didn't you say that their only interest is mind control?
Frylock: Well, yes. And they also like to star in plays.
Meatwad: Star in plays?
Frylock: Oh, yes Meatwad. Plays that they've written after they've been drinking.
Meatwad: After they've been drinking?
Frylock: ..on the weekends.
Meatwad: On the weekends?
Frylock: Will you stop repeating me? Damn, everything I say!
Meatwad: Everything you say? You still think I'm an asshole don't ya?

Meatwad: Well, what you gonna do now?
Frylock: Well Meatwad, there's only one thing we can do. ...These beans!
Meatwad: Those beans?
Frylock: Yes, Meatwad. These Mexican jumping beans are the only known enemy to the Hypnogerm. Now they must confront each other.. inside his brain!
Meatwad: Okay.

(Flash to play by Hypnogerms)
Bean: Germmaster! Beans are invading from the west.
Donna: It's Poncho! He's come for me.
King: Young Donna - you must understand that the beans are lowlifes!

hypnogerm7.mp3

King: Bean and Germ must never mate. It is written on this grape.
Donna: But father! But father.. BUT FATHER!
King: Take her to the epiglotis.
Narrator: And so she was imprisoned in the flabby epiglotis for a thousand years because of a love for one overweight bean.

hypnogerm8.mp3

Poncho: Psst. Hey, Donna.
Donna: Poncho! You've come for me!
Poncho: Donna, shhh. No yet!
Donna: How did you find me?
Poncho: Oh, you know. It's like..my love for you carried me here like a thousand rivers, man.
Donna: Hold on honey. (Toilet flushes) I'm sorry. What? What did you say?
Poncho: Did you just do what I think you did? Ew. You told me you didn't do that, man.
Donna: Not in front of you! Silly.
Poncho: Yeah, okay.

Poncho: Well good, but hey listen. We're gonna battle your Dad, man, okay, you've gotta tell him to lay off, please okay?
Donna: I don't ever see him...mang.
Poncho: Okay, look, here's the deal, okay? I'll be back here tomorrow, man. 'Cause you know I love you, and I'll never leave you until you are free from this prison, okay?
Donna: But how? How will I ever get free?
Poncho: You must grow your hair, and.. and then.. You know, we'll do something with it, something crazy, you know.

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Narrator: And that was the last Donna ever saw of Pancho, for two weeks later, he met a younger, more illegal bean who wasn't in prison and she bore him many children, and sued his ass for custody of them.

Narrator: But one day...
Donna: Poncho! You've come back! For me!
Poncho: Yeah, no. Shut up, damn! Let your hair down.
Narrator: Poncho climbed her hair and when he reached the top he looked in his long lost lover's eyes and said:
Poncho: Oohh.. Aye, gross. From you nose?! You know, eh Donna. I been thinking you know, I don't want to break your heart, and I'm going through a lot of s*** right now.. and a lot of work to do, and I'm not the best guy in the world, you know. I'm not right for you. I got-- I got to think about things a little bit, okay? It'll work out somehow. But yeah, give me the hair.
Narrator: And he snipped the nose hair from her breathing cavities.
Poncho: Gracias.
Narrator: Because he thought he knew someone who could spin nose hair into gold.
Poncho: Now spin it into gold, man!

hypnogerm10.mp3

Narrator: Donna's heart was shattered.
Donna: No, Poncho! No!
Narrator: Fortunately for her, she turned into the Incredible Hulk. But not the Marvel Comic Hulk, a totally different Hulk that we made up.
Donna: Hulk mad!!

Narrator: And Donna took Poncho's body to the bean wizard.
Donna: Oh, bean wizard. Can you help me?
Wizard: I'll see! (claps)
Donna: He's been shot in the head.
Wizard: I can't raise him from the dead! If he's been shot in the head, my powers are limited!
Donna: But isn't there anything-- But isn't there anything you can do?
Wizard: Maybe. Probably. Definitely! A zombie!
Donna: Oh, thank you bean wizard!
Poncho: Brains!
Donna: Oh wait, no, no, no!
Poncho: Brains! Aye! Que Delicioso!

hypnogerm11.mp3

Narrator: And so the bean zombie terrorized the countryside for a thousand years, and the beans drove the hypnogerms out of the countryside, led by their zombified Prince where they would rule the countryside for a thousand years.

Frylock: Well, it looks like it's working. The beans are obviously winning.
Master Shake: Aye! Mi es dio!
Meatwad: Damn! What's he doin'?
Frylock: Oh, he's just passing gas out of his occular cavities. I told you there'd be side effects, you know. Yep, he's Mexican now.
File Cabinet: Congratulations, you're our new contestant!
Frylock: Whoa, who-what?! Wait a minute--Where did the hypnogerms go?!
Meatwad: Oh yeah, they went up your back. Who's the asshole now? I'm outta here!