Click on the filename above the transcription to download the clip. Enjoy!
tshirtofthedead1.mp3 Oglethorpe: They are so stuck with that bill, it's not even funny, but I am laughing anyway. Hahaha. Emory: Ah, man. Are those meat cravers? Oglethorpe: Well four million of them are. I had some with olive too. I remembered they liked that. I'm not Satan. Emory: You think maybe they'll get pissed and maybe prank us and order us a bunch of pizzas? Oglethorpe: No, that's not very good. Emory: I think I'm getting kinda hungry. Oglethorpe: Me too. (Teleport to Mooninites Ship) Dudes!
tshirtofthedead2.mp3 Master Shake: Oh, God. How much longer? Egypt is so boring! It doesn't even exist! You don't hear DMX rap about it! Meatwad: I find that this is highly affiligent and edumacatiamous for my brain. I am smart boy.
tshirtofthedead3.mp3 Meatwad: Who's this old boy here? Is that DMX? Frylock: Oh, that's Osiris, the Egyptian god of the dead. Master Shake: Hey, hey look over here. Look at this. (Flips off Frylock) What's this mean in Egypto? Meatwad: Well, that's you tellin' me to sit and spin. Master Shake: Bingo. Now do it.
tshirtofthedead4.mp3 Meatwad: Oh yeah? Well what am I thinkin'? Master Shake: Ohh, that's so cute. You're trying to come up with something for me to think of, but you can't. Your brain is permanently unplugged. Meatwad: You know, he may be right. I think that that t-shirt does work.
tshirtofthedead5.mp3 Master Shake: What the hell's taking so long? Meatwad: You need to chill. I got a whole load in there. Master Shake: A load? What could you possibly have in there? You're prancin' around like you're livin' the frickin' summer of love! Meatwad: I'm washin' my Christmas sock, boy. I wanna be prepared for when Santa comes. Master Shake: Santa is not coming this summer. Meatwad: Yes he is. I put on your t-shirt and called out to him with my brain waves. Master Shake: You did what?! The t-shirt is not to be abused. It is to be thrown in there with a full bottle of bleach in very hot water!
tshirtofthedead12.mp3 Master Shake: Put it on.. and do my bidding! Meatwad: Mmmk. Puts on shirt There we go. What do ya bid? Master Shake: Ooo, let's uh.. why don't we call up uh... Oh, I know. How about a plague of snakes to devour you for your insolence. Meatwad: Mmmk. Hang on. Easter Bunny appears Easter Bunny: Hey! Let's play hide and seek, Meatwad! Master Shake: What the.. is that the plague of snakes I asked for? Meatwad: I dunno. Hey, is you the plague of snakes he asked for? Easter Bunny: Nuh uh! I'm the Easter Bunny. Meatwad: He the Easter Bunny. Master Shake: I know that!
tshirtofthedead6.mp3 Meatwad: Well, I feel like we got a communication breakdown here 'cause you know, you say "snakes", but all I hear from ya is "easter bunny" "easter bunny" "easter bunny".
tshirtofthedead7.mp3 Meatwad: Santa, did you get my letter? Santa: Meatwad, why did you call me in the middle of July? Meatwad: I want me some presents. I been a good boy for the first quarter of this year, and most of the second quarter. Santa: It's the middle of f***ing July. I was sleeping. Meatwad: Well but I-- Santa: Faggoty elves don't even come in 'til September. Meatwad: Okay but..well, I want a unicorn with a horn and a banana seat a banana suit, too. Gimme that. Santa: Well, I'll just waltz on down to the free present store. You think I have money to buy all that?
tshirtofthedead13.mp3 Meatwad: No, not that kind of horn. Come on, use your head.. Santa: Well, I didn't do it, you did it. Meatwad: Oh. Santa: Anyone have any coffee? Meatwad: Ehh. Gettin' there.. Santa: I'm sorry. He just woke me up and it pisses me off. Meatwad: Well, that'll work. For now. But no tellin' what I'm gonna want..
tshirtofthedead8.mp3 Carl: There's a friggin' Easter Egg in my yard! Meatwad: That's probably Eggzilla Carl. He's a firebreathin' Easter Egg come outta my mind. Carl: Of course. Meatwad: Could be his girlfriend--cause in my mind now he's goin' steady. Santa: The suit is melting into my skin! Carl: Oh, yeah. No, there's two of 'em now. Meatwad: He's at the prom. Carl: Make sure the house is completely crushed if you could. Meatwad: That's okay. They're in love. Hey, where you goin'? Carl: Hey, what are ya doin'? You missed my car! (Smashes windshield) Help me out with this!
tshirtofthedead9.mp3 Santa: If I survive, I'm gonna beat the **** outta that little meatball. Frylock: Look, Santa, I am so sorry. Meatwad just got a little carried away, that's all. Santa: He got a lot carried away. You know that remote controlled race car he wants? Oh yeah, he's gonna get it--far up his ass. Frylock: Whoa, whoa whoa. Calm down, now Santa. Santa: You might see if the reindeer like meat this year!
tshirtofthedead10.mp3 Meatwad: Look. What am I supposed to do here with this? I know. You were asleep. He broke in. (Tips over Santa's life support) He flicked a switch; bad wiring lights him on fire. Frylock: Meatwad! Santa: Don't listen to him! Meatwad: No one knows he's down here, come on! Frylock: I don't like the way this t-shirt is making you act! Meatwad: Oh, is that right? (Jumps on Santa. Santa screams "get off") Oh, you got a mind to rat me out?! Frylock: No, no no, Meatwad. Nothing like that, please. Look, you got the t-shirt on. Just do something will ya? Meatwad: Okay, okay, okay, okay. Just lemme..lemme concentrate here for a second. Oh boy a new Unicycle!
tshirtofthedead11.mp3 Master Shake: (Shake as a reindeer) Can I ask a question master? You said we would be trading off at some point. Is that close? Meatwad: We gonna finish up America, then we do Europe, and then we lock up Middle East yourself. Master Shake: (Getting humped by another reindeer) F&$# you! Meatwad: Cry me a river, bitch.
