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diet1.mp3 Oglethorpe: We know you eat your own farts! Emory: They're writing it on our ship.. you see that, right? Oglethorpe: They shouldn't do that, but they are filled with shame. Admission is the first step in recovery. Emory: Yeah, but they're making it look like, ya know, like we like to do that. Oglethorpe: They wha-- NO! We do not eat our own farts!! Ignignokt: Well then why did you paint that on the side of your ship unless you long to consume your own farts? It's so pathetic. Err: Yeah, it's f***in' gross. Ignignokt: What kind of a creature gets nutrition from its own farts, Err? Err: They do, man. Ignignokt: That's absolutely correct. Err: (Whispers) F A R T S Oglethorpe: That's horse s--- (busts screen) Emory: Let's just cut our losses and walk away. Oglethorpe: Nine! The time for maturity is over! (dials pizza place) Yes, I would like to order a million..no..hold on..50 million large pizzas!
diet2.mp3 Frylock: All right! The running man! Meatwad: Oh, no, no. I power walked. (steps on scale) Son of a.. look at this. Frylock: How far did you run Meatwad? Meatwad: I power walked down to that pile of gummy bears and back. I should probably set the pile out further. Or closer..so I can get at 'em. Frylock: Maybe you shouldn't eat the gummy bears once you reach.. Meatwad: Well that's the half-way point. If you don't put the gummy bears out there ain't no reason to run..or power walk, which is what I did.
diet3.mp3 Carl: And it ain't like them sissy no-crabs diets either. Frylock: I think that's no 'carbs', Carl. Carl: See, but I have crabs, so I don't qualify for that. Have I told you that before? Frylock: Yeah. Carl: Funny story.
diet4.mp3 Frylock: Yeah, and that's why you're a candidate for heart disease. Master Shake: Well I have three hearts 'cause I'm from Tatooine and my mother-- Frylock: No you're not. Master Shake: Really? Interesting. 'Cause you know I get my physical every year on Alderaan! Frylock: That didn't happen. Master Shake: well, I...I am from the Dagobah system!
diet5.mp3 Frylock: All right, Carl. I'll tell you what. I'll bet you a case of your favorite beer that Meatwad loses more weight than you doing it the healthy way. Carl: Yeah.. you're on! Meatwad: And if I win, both of y'all get together, buy me a motorcycle and a pink iPod mini. Fylock and Carl: No. Meatwad: All I want's some home electronics! He gets to go to the damn Dagobah system! Master Shake: (Makes R2 noises) Ohh, R2. Haha.
diet12.mp3 Master Shake: Funnel cakes! Getcha hot funnel cakes here! Meatwad: Funnel cakes! Master Shake: Funnel cakes from The Tomb Raider! Frylock: Do you have to fry those here, Shake? Master Shake: Yeah, I do.
diet6.mp3 Frylock: Whats wrong with you? You know he can't have this stuff. Master Shake: I don't know, I'm conflicted. Part of me wants to show it to him then woof it down in front of him, and yet part of me wants to see him eat it and lose the bet. I just don't know who to trust anymore. Meatwad: All right, look. Can you just hit me with some batter? Master Shake: Hey, battah battah, sawwwinnng battah! Frylock: No Meatwad, no batter.
diet7.mp3 Frylock: I just put it in there to get you excited about your real dinner.. this..uh..celery stalk right here. Mmm! Meatwad: Well, it ain't workin'. Now, if you expect me to eat this, you gonna have to supply me with some wing sauce. Frylock: How about a twist of lemon? Meatwad: How about a twist of I gouge your mother f***in' eyes out. Get me the ***damn wing sauce.
diet8.mp3 Meatwad: Hey, can I just have one funnel cake....eating contest? Master Shake: Yeah! Meatwad: Pile 'em up right here. Get the clock. Master Shake: We'll throw down right now because I'm gonna whoop your ass on this diet boy. Frylock: You're not part of the bet. Master Shake: Oh, okay. Sorry..that I'm part of the bet. You heard him. I'm in it.
diet9.mp3 Frylock: No... Carl: I gotta tell you man I can hear you..like talkin' from your livin' room. I got some sort of crazy, amazing hearing. They don't tell ya about that in the book. Frylock: What are you doing?! Carl: It's part of the diet. They say you know, if you wanna slide around on your stomach, don't fight the urge. Frylock: You realize you're up on the ceiling, Carl. Carl: Oh. Oh, yeah. That. I like to be next to this light. Like, real next to it. Why? What're you queer?
diet10.mp3 Master Shake: Hang on, everybody wait. I'm about to win this bitch. Frylock: You're not part of the damn bet, Shake! Master Shake: Oh yeah? Is that what you think? Well why don't you hit that switch over there and then you tell me? (Gets sucked clean)
diet11.mp3 Frylock: All right. Get on the scale, Meatwad. Meatwad: How we lookin'? Frylock: You weigh...two more pounds than you did last week! Meatwad: Aww fudge. Does anyone want some? It's good. Got nuts in it. It's pecan fudge.
