Episode 50 - Moon Master
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Ignignokt: It's time to send a message Err. A message comma Err, not a messenger. Let's just go.
Oglethorpe: Look at them so stupid and so sad that they admit their own addiction. We know you eat your own farts!
Meatwad: Hey, hey, yeah.. you. Where is my high powered video game console? Cause I will kick some ass if I do not find it.
Master Shake I told myself I wasn't going to, but you've been very good this week so.
Master Shake: I upgraded it with these special chips.
Meatwad: Hey.. them chocolate chips!
Master Shake: Yeah.. and thems ants! It's a new game called "Ant Madness", only this time.. the game is real. Can you handle it?
Meatwad: Deliciously. How's it work? What's the object? How many bosses must I face?
Master Shake: It is a race against time and terror to save the world starring Eric Stoltz.
Meatwad: Oh, yeah, yeah. I play this all the time.
Master Shake: Play again! Hurry man.. Before there's still time!
Meatwad: Just roll around in there?
Master Shake Yeah, just piss 'em off real good.
Shake & Frylock: What are you doing?
Master Shake Boom!
Master Shake Ho ho!
Meatwad: You are so predictable!
Master Shake Pay up!
Master Shake I am the master. And the commander!
Meatwad: Any more chocolate in there?
Frylock I think we got it all.
Meatwad: Damn that's a good game. Challenging, yet.. nutritious. So let's play it again.
Frylock Damn, don't you have any other games?
Meatwad: I found this one under my pillow, thanks to the game fairy.
Master Shake: What's it called? Anal-Blazer? Cause that's what you like to play, over and over, don't you. You know how to play it? I'll tell you. Level one's in a truckstop filled with lonely truckers! Level two's in a public restroom along the highway.
Shake & Frylock: Shake!
Meatwad: (Meatwad gives up $2 for Shake knowing what Frylock would say) Aww. Aww, man! You won already, what you going to do?
Master Shake: I rule... your world!
Video Game: Congratulations! You are the Moon Master!
Meatwad: That's right moon! You best check yourself, first you wreck yourself!
Video Game: Level two. Unbelievable!
Meatwad: Yes I am. Thank you.
Video Game: Level three. Beware the Gorgotron.
Meatwad: What's that old Gorgotron doin'?
Video Game: He's in love. Shoot him in the head! Headshot, rampage, killing spree! You have mastered moon master. You are the moon master.
Err: No f***in' way.
Ignignokt: Yes way, Err. For we are blessed to be in the presence of the moon master.
Err: But nobody makes it past level three.
Ignignokt: Someone just did, Err. Bow down before him for he is our lord.
Meatwad: That's right, kiss the floor. Now get up, you sicken me.
Ignignokt: A million space pardons.
Ignignokt: We have distributed this game to seek out and find gifted warriors to aid us in our real life struggle against the real life Gorgotron.
Err: He's real. And he hates us.
Ignignokt: And he hates us.
Err: The Gorgotron has destroyed our armies and villages and people and all of our pets and he has laid waste to our craps.
Ignignokt: Crops is what I typed, Err.
Err: But it says "craps".
Ignignokt: I know, Err.
Err: Craps is funnier.
Ignignokt: I've processed that humor.
Err: It should be craps, cause craps is a funny word.
Ignignokt: Maybe we'll go with that.
Ignignokt: Anyway, the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one. And if you think I got that from Star Trek, you are very wrong, mister.
Err: So won't you please help us? Save our craps? Hahah.
Ignignokt: Err, please stop.. fueling my silent rage.
Meatwad: Anything for the future of the moon. What kinda craps y'all grow up there?
Err: Ain't got sh*t up there, man, it's the moon.
Ignignokt: First we must train you. You can't go into battle like that.
Err: He's right.
Ignignokt: You would instantly turn to vapor.
Err: No, what you need is our free warrior kit.
Ignignokt: Oh most definitely.
Err: We're selling it, and you're buying it.
Ignignokt: It's got the helmet, energy bars, electric shoes, Gorgotron repellant, moon master stickers, and now for the first time, instructional video.
Err: And it's all free.
Meatwad: Mmkay. How do I get that?
Ignignokt: You pay far out the ass for it.
Err: It's just three easy installments of $29.99.
Ignignokt: Unless you want our race to die, which it seems like you do.
Meatwad: Oh, no no, I don't want that, but I thought you said it was free.
Ignignokt: It was free. A true warrior would've jumped on it, like a beast, before it went straight up to $99.99.
Meatwad: Damn, I guess I do need training.
Err: What you need is recognition!
Ignignokt: For a one-time charge, get your name placed in this handsome leather bound volume of "Who's Who Among Moonmasters".
Err: You're the only one! And you're on page one.
Meatwad: Hey, you know what? This a pretty good deal!
Err: Yes it is, cappy!
Meatwad: Shake!! Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake, Shak-
Master Shake: What?!
Meatwad: Oh, so you just waltz out here and think that you gonna face a true warrior? ..and then, ya know.. sign my sheet and be part of my warrior list..
Master Shake: Oh, you better believe I will! After these messages!
Meatwad: Shake! I said you better come out here and face a true warrior! (Shake shoots sword)
Master Shake All right, is that it? Has he been faced?
Meatwad: You done messed up the Lunar Sceptor! There is but one in the known galaxy! Well, thank God I bought the three-pack.
Master Shake: Thank God I brought three shells! Come'on! Whip 'em out!
Meatwad: Well, whip on this!
Meatwad: Well, whip on this. All right, hang on. Sha na na na na, sha na na na.
Master Shake: What the hell are you doing?
Meatwad: Get a job.
Master Shake: Get a job? What?
Meatwad: You feelin' like any sorta like..meltin' sensation?
Master Shake: No, but if I do I'm going to totally tell on you and then you'll have to go to jail.
Meatwad: No, no, no! Please, don't tell!
Master Shake: Oohhh, now that you mention it...
Meatwad: No, no, don't..just.. I..I won't do it again. I won't do it again. But stand still.. I'm gonna do it again. Sha na na na (Shake shoots amulet) Impossible, the lunar melting amulet is constructed of high tensile moon noodles. No mortal man can destroy it.
Master Shake: Yeah, that's right.
Meatwad: Then you, too, are a moon master!
Master Shake: Now and forever...
Master Shake What else you got in this catalog I can blow away?
Meatwad: Oh, you got the catalog, that's wonderful. I've been meaning to set up an appointment with you.
Master Shake The fleece is nice, but I don't like the zipper.
Meatwad: First you must pass that which is unpassable!
Video Game: Congratulations! You are the moon master!
Master Shake In your face!
Err: No way!
Ignignokt: Beyond all comprehension! Nobody makes it past level three.
Meatwad: Wait 'cept I did. Remember me guys?
Err: That's him, remember him?
Meatwad: Hey guys.
Ignignokt: Oh yes. How surprisingly delightful; two moon masters in the same house, what are the chances?
Master Shake: I'm not surprised.
Meatwad: Me neither.
Master Shake: I'm damn good.
Master Shake So how's this work? We got nationals?
Meatwad: All right, see, you also the savior of their race, like me, okay? So you gotta buy all the stuff in this catalog, then I get points, then so do they get points, and you get points too so they can get that Gorgotron killed, and somehow, someone gets a Ferrari.
Master Shake Yeah, I get the Ferrari. I'm the moon master. Now what?
Ignignokt: Now go out and find fifty others who are rich enough to take pleasure in this facade.
Master Shake Yo! Sign my thing.
Meatwad: Well you already signed mine. Go out and do my bidding.
Master Shake I don't know fifty people.
Frylock Can I help someone?
Master Shake Hey buddy, how's it going?
Meatwad: Come over here first.
Master Shake I want to show you some literature.
Meatwad: Show us how you sign your name, I know you know how to do it. Did you bring your pen with you?
Master Shake Nobody's talking to you; let the adults speak.
Meatwad: I'll get you a moon master pen, how's that grab you?
Master Shake I want you to look at this Gorgotron repellant. Go over it at your own pace, no pressure, but I do need you to sign it right now.
Frlyock: So..buying all this stuff is going to help you kill this Gorgotron thing? How? Just tell me that.
Ignignokt: Well wouldn't your ass like to know.
Err: That is why he asked.
Ignignokt: I know, Err, shut up. I am in control of this conversation.
Frylock Well I'm waiting.
Meatwad: Well, while you wait, take a look at some of our weaponry for spring.
Master Shake No, no, no that stuff falls apart in your hands. It's counterfeit.
Meatwad: Just 'cause the temperature rises doesn't mean you can't still be prepared. Green is the new pink in warrior shorts.
Master Shake Now I love the battle axes on page nine. They got a great grip, they got a good weight in your hand and you can get two of those in the defender pack which for my money is the best deal.
Meatwad: Am I right?
Master Shake Shake, will you get that out of my face?!
Ignignokt: Alert him to the fact that we will throw in a wacky wall walker. His choice of five colors--if that's what it takes for the dog to bite.
Master Shake Just give me an example of your signature.
Master Shake What?! He has a friend that made over 2 million dollars doing this out of the house!
Ignignokt: That is very, extremely, true.
Meatwad: That old boy didn't even have to get dressed! Look here, it's a naked picture of him.
Err: Oh man, I thought we cut that out.
Ignignokt: We did. If you will excuse us, we have a meeting with our printer, on the moon.
Frylock Well why would you want to go up there? I mean, that's where this Gorgotron is, right?
Ignignokt: Well well, I know that. I said that, but it's his nap time now.
Err: 'Cause he like sleeps during the day.
Ignignokt: But at night he feeds.
Err: And it's always night on the moon.
Ignignokt: Don't f*** with me, Err.
Carl: Hello lady or gentleman of the house. My name is insert name and I am the one and only Moon Master, savior of..uh.. Oh, man. They already talked to you didn't they? Dammit!
Master Shake Who?
Meatwad: While he ain't lookin', would you sign this?
Master Shake No you don't; sign mine!
Carl: No, I'm the one. I need points; I'm still a cadet here!
Ignignokt: Please moon masters; silence!
Err: Yeah, shut up! The Gorgotron approaches!
Carl: Uh oh.
Master Shake Whoa whoa, wait. Wait a minute! Are you serious? I only got one signature. Are we ready?
Ignignokt: You're always ready, for you are a moon master.
Err: That's right. And see ya later. We gotta go harvest our craps.
Ignignokt: Err, please.
Meatwad: Huh. Where's the Gorgotron?
Frylock There is no Gorgotron!!
Master Shake Ah! Thank God. I mean you think we'd defeat him with this? We each should have had our own defender packs!
Meatwad: Yeah! That's the one with the uh, stickers, and the instructional video--how to work stickers. I found it to be informative.
Carl: Look, for the record, I know that there ain't no Gorgotron all right? I'm just doin' this for the Ferrari. You know some naked dude made 2 million dollars doing this outta the house?
Master Shake: I know!
Master Shake They were friends with the guy!
Ignignokt: Tell him, Err, with your parallelogram mouth.
Err: Now see what you need is the official keychain, so you gotta upgrade to the star gate pack.
Ignignokt: You mustn't face the Gorgotron with your keys all willy nilly.
Err: He's right. Oh shoot. You're the Gorgotron.
Ignignokt: Yes, Err. I told you this was a mistake that you were making.
Err: I'll tell you what, Gorgotron. I'll throw in the keychain. How do you like that? You like that, fatty?
Err: You are a fatty!
Ignignokt: He said, "No", Err, with his foot.
Last Dance for Napkin Lad Frames
Allen Part 1 Frames
Allen Part 2 Frames
The Intervention Frames
Freedom Cobra Frames
The Creditor Frames
Jumpy George Frames