Aqua Teen Adventures - Premiere Online Source for Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Episode 48 - Little Brittle

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littlebrittle1.mp3

Ignignokt: I'm sorry, you have the wrong number.
Oglethorpe: Dammit! Why did you hang up on me?! Hit redial!
Ignignokt: Hello?
Oglethorpe: Hello.. this is Mr. Brown. I believe that we got disconnected.
Ignignokt: I'm sorry, you have the wrong number.
Oglethorpe: Ohh, dammit!

littlebrittle2.mp3

Little Brittle: (Song) Well back in 1912 I could kick your ass. I did the tango and the foxtrot before it got banned. There was ragtime and jazz before there ever was rap, now I'm trapped with a colostomy bag in my pants..
Frylock: Oh, no.
Meatwad: Oh yeah!
Frylock: Oh Hell no!
Meatwad: Hell yeah!
Frylock: We are not doing this again. No way.
Meatwad: Yeah way!
Frylock: This is MC Pee Pants isn't it? Isn't it?!
Meatwad: No..
Frylock: Okay, fine. Sir-Loin, right?
Meatwad: Nope.
Frylock: Okay, well who is it, then?
Meatwad: Guess. Where are my eyes lookin'?
Frylock: Will you just tell me who he is? Cause I'm not gonna look at your poster.
Meatwad: This here's Little Brittle and the C-bag. And he's kickin' it: elderly school.

Meatwad: See?
Frylock: Yeah, I see him.
Meatwad: See?!
Frylock: Yeah, I see him, okay?! And this is MC Pee Pants. He's come back again! I mean, look at the shower cap, look at the yellow eyes, look at the diaper! This is the same guy!
Meatwad: No, he's incompetent at being continent. He raps about that on side two.

littlebrittle3.mp3

Meatwad: Bowel trouble y'all. Stool sample! Soft and loose, soft and loose, ya gotta gimme the juice--the metamuce.
Frylock: All right, all right. Whatever.
Meatwad: And that goes on..forever.

Frylock: All right, all right fine. What kind of crazy, dumbass world dominating plan does he have hidden in his lyrics this time, huh?
Meatwad: No, man, nothing. Just listen to this.
Little Brittle: So I got liver spots bigger than dalmation dots; I'm all alone. Won't you please come visit me dawg?! I got--
Meatwad: He just wants friends. He's old and lonely; and he got a stone-cold groove!
Frylock: Oh really? Well we'll just see about that. Where's he located? 612 Wharf Avenue, right?
Meatwad: Nah, his son moved him to Tragic Castles cause he's drivin' a wedge in their marriage; poopin' and wanderin' off and and messin' up the shower.
Frylock: Damn! They put him up there?
Meatwad: Yeah, and they don't never visit him neither! And he needs to be resituated every three hours; he gets sores. That what he says in his song, "Roll me homey, my hip's all boney. I gettin' sores and I gettin' lonely." That rhyme ain't too good, but the beat is awesome.
Frylock: Yeah, but they do.. I mean they have nurses, don't they?
Meatwad: Yeah, but they don't go in there no more cause he spits on them and calls them harlets and barks at them to get nude.
Frylock: Oh man. I hope we never end up like that, huh Meatwad?
Meatwad: I won't. You will. I gots to go and give respect.
Frylock: Yeah, I think I'll go too. --Because something's got to be up with this!

littlebrittle4.mp3

Master Shake: Where do you two thing you're going?
Frylock: Wherever the hell we want.
Master Shake: Not without me!
Meatwad: We're going to see Little Brittle at the old folks home.
Master Shake: Go without me!

Frylock: Oh, come on, Shake. You could probably cheer up some old folks.
Master Shake: Well, can we at least make a side trip?
Frylock: To where?
Master Shake: Peru. that's near here, right?
Frylock: See ya.
Master Shake: Yeah. see this. Dracula called, and he's coming tonight.

littlebrittle9.mp3

Meatwad: Little Brittle? Knock knock.. Hey, Little Brittle. We come visit you--
Little Brittle: Ah-ah! Bitch, get away from my socks-- I'll stab you in the neck with this picture of my grandson! (cough cough)

Frylock: Easy, easy now, Little B. We're just here to visit, man. that's all.
Meatwad: Yeah. we're just here to hang.
Little Brittle: Hey! Oh, yeah. Uh, come on in, my schnegro! Come on over here and give Little Brittle some props. I haven't been touched in a long time.
Meatwad: Whoa! Eww..
Frylock: Go oh, Meatwad.

littlebrittle5.mp3

Frylock: He's happy to see you. He wants you to hug him, see?
Meatwad: But I..I..I don't want to.
Little Brittle: Ohhh, homey. Why you gotta play me like that?
Frylock: Give him a hug, Meatwad.
Meatwad: But he smells like lotion and doodoo! (Little Brittle grabs him)

Little Brittle: Come here! Ah! Hey, you--you shot up like a weed. You're, like, man-sized now. Shake my hand like a man. I'm hugging a man, y'all! What brings y'all down to the assisted-living hizzy?
Frylock: Uh, it's funny you should ask 'cause, uh, that's what I'm wondering. What do you have up your sleeve this time?
Little Brittle: Oh, no! oh, no, you did not! No one asked me that when I was fighting for your freedom in WWII.
Frylock: Look, ok. I'm sorry, all right?
Little Brittle: I'm a veteran.
Frylock: I just remember the last few times we had run-ins with you.
Little Brittle: Do I know y'all?
Frylock: I'm Frylock, and this is Meatwad.
Meatwad: Nice to meet you, for the third time.
Little Brittle: Oh yeah. You are the-- yeah, you the--you-- you the guy that-- wait a minute. who the [beep] are you? What are you doing in my room?
Frylock: (Flipping through pictures) You don't remember meeting us? Okay, a couple of years ago, you were a six-foot-tall spider that wanted us to help you drill a hole into the earth to unleash demons to run your global diet pill pyramid scheme.
Little Brittle: The what?
Frylock: All right, what about this one? A year later, you were a cow that tried to get us to bring all our garbage to you so you could use flies to evaporate the walls of a bank so you could get the money and... Uhh. So you could get the money to rent patio furniture that you hadn't paid for yet.
Meatwad: And this is us at dinner right before we sent you to the slaughterhouse.
Frylock: Remember that?
Little Brittle: Well. Those are good ideas.
Frylock: So, you don't remember any of this.
Little Brittle: No.
Frylock: Okay, okay. Satan has brought you back as an old man to do something. Now, what is it?
Little Brittle: Boy, you crazy. sit down a spell. You want to get busy with some hard candy?
Frylock: No, thank you.
Meatwad: Hell yeah! I want candy, bubble gum, and taffy. Remember that, Little Brittle?
Little Brittle: Nope.

littlebrittle6.mp3

Meatwad: You uhh..You gonna put out any more jams?
Little Brittle: No, no man. My label dropped me. The said that songs like "Uh Oh, Polio" didn't connect with today's youth.
Meatwad: Yeah.. also. You slept through alot a them songs..right?
Little Brittle: (Snores)

Meatwad: Hello?
Frylock: Oh, man. this is sad.
Meatwad: Yes, it is.
Frylock: Guess I was wrong about Little Brittle.
Meatwad: So, we should go because it smells like lotion and doo-doo here.
Little Brittle: Hey, hey! wait, wait, wait, wait. I haven't even shown you pictures of my grandchildren. This here is little, uh-- who is this?
Meatwad: Um, we best get going.
Frylock: No, Meatwad. you should stay and visit.
Little Brittle: Wait a minute, who are these people surrounding me?
Frylock: I think it's important--
Little Brittle: You get away from me, you're trying to kill me!
Frylock: That I get out of here, though. Have fun!
Meatwad: Wait, wait! Don't go!
Little Brittle: Come on, dawg. stay with me, dawg. Today's applesauce day! Applesauce day, dawg!
Meatwad: Okay.
Little Brittle: Oh, thank God. Thank you so much for staying. Now look here. You make sure they don't steal my wristwatch. They in my mind.
Meatwad: But you-- you ain't got a wristwatch.
Little Brittle: The wristwatch is in my mind. I had to hide it there, you understand?
Meatwad: I'll try to.

littlebrittle7.mp3

Master Shake: Frylock, you would not believe what just happened. A prowler broke in here, and forced your cupcakes in my mouth, and now he says if you don't leave the room and let him use the internet..he'll shoot me.
Frylock: Fine.
Master Shake: He has a gun, you know.
Frylock Well you said he'd shoot you, so I did figure it was a gun.
Master Shake: Frylock, I am completely serious her-- (Frylock pulls out second plate of cupcakes) You had MORE cupcakes?!

Frylock: Oh, you think I could just leave things I want out by you?
Master Shake: Well, I leave stuff around you, and I don't cry. Last Tuesday, you said, from your own mouth, that I left a mess, and that was for you, and you threw it out.
Frylock: Oh, Meatwad.
Master Shake: Our friendship is over.
Frylock: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Look, don't forget to bring these cupcakes to Little Brittle, okay?
Meatwad: He don't like cupcakes too much because he says that the government made them too hard to chew intentionally, and that--he says that he's too crazy to go on much longer this way.
Master Shake: You're friends with an old person?
Meatwad: Yes.
Master Shake: I cut everyone off at 40. After that, you're dead meat. That's why I'm the master.
Frylock: Shake.
Master Shake: What? I don't see you lining up to see old people.
Frylock: Well, that's only because they smell awful. I mean, I would go if the people were younger and didn't reek of fluids, I mean--
Meatwad: Oh, but I should go.
Frylock: Meatwad, it's very important that someone goes. Someone without a nose. And that's you, so go ahead.
Meatwad: Oh, ok. Yeah, that makes sense, I guess.
Master Shake: Frylock, you don't have a nose, either.
Frylock: Yeah, but he doesn't know that.
Master Shake: Because he was the prowler.
Frylock: Will you shut up?

Little Brittle: Yeah, yeah, yeah. stick that tooth in there. Yeah, punch it in.
Meatwad: You feeling any different?
Little Brittle: No. try the other side.
Meatwad: I ain't getting nothing here.
Little Brittle: I got blood somewhere. Come on! just put it in there.
Frylock: Hey, Meatwad, you forgot these cup-- what the hell is going on in here?
Meatwad: I'm turning him into a vampire.
Frylock: You're doing what?
Little Brittle: Vampire! He's a vampire turning me into a vampire.
Frylock: Well, he's not a vampire.
Meatwad: I know. I keep telling him that. But he says, he says, "Do it anyway."
Little Brittle: Yeah, yeah, yeah get my teeth out of that glass. See if they sharp.
Frylock: Why would you even think he's a vampire?
Little Brittle: Well, why the hell do you think I released "Come Visit Me, Dawg" in Transylvania, yo?
Meatwad: Yeah, that was an import. I paid extra for that.

littlebrittle10.mp3

Little Brittle: See, I released it in Transylvania so vampires would come and visit me and I could get them to bite into my neck and then I could become immortal! Why the hell do you think I made myself look so sexy on the cover?!
Frylock: See, I knew it. I knew some bull- was up with you. I knew it!
Little Brittle: Look, yo. Brittle needs to live forever! Otherwise I go down to hell and Satan send me back as something worse! He's got all these ideas... he don't tell me none of them!

Frylock: Why don't you just become a Christian?
Meatwad: Yeah, that way when you die, you go to heaven, away from bad ol' Satan.
Little Brittle: Can I do that? I mean, are they cool with vampires, because I gots to feast on blood! That's how I roll!
Frylock: Look, you can't be both. Either be one or the other. And the other, which is a vampire, is impossible.
Little Brittle: Well then I guess I'm a Christian. Oh yeah, bringin in the sheaves ya'll! Who knew I had it in me? I did.

littlebrittle8.mp3

Little Brittle: Now kill me, quick!
Frylock: We're not going to kill you. The moral thing to do is to let you die naturally..alone, in a pile of your own filth.
Little Brittle: Look, it's easy. Just build a time machine, go back into prehistoric times with a satellite tracking device and a laser gun, blow up the comet, save all the dinosaurs so they don't die out and create fossil fuels, so there ain't no energy to feed my food tube.
Meatwad: Or we could just pull this plug right here.
Little Brittle: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah..do that!

Vampire: Little brittle.
Frylock: No way.
Little Brittle: Do--do I know you?
Vampire: oh, my gosh. I so love your record. Ha ha ha ha! you're so cool.
Little Brittle: What record? Aah! Aah! Ow! Aah!
Frylock: We better go, Meatwad, before someone smells you.
Meatwad: You think that wasa real live vampire? That was, wasn't it? Wasn't it?
Frylock: I don't know. probably.
Little Brittle: Hey, y'all. check me out. Don't go. Y'all look. Look, I'm a vampire now, y'all! Check me out. I got--I got fangs. I got this bad-ass cape. wait a minute. Aah!
Meatwad: Whoa, man!
Vampire: Did you see little brittle? Because he's not supposed to be out in the sunlight. No!
Meatwad: Well, I guess we'll never see him again.
Frylock: Yep. not until next year.
Little Brittle: Hey, Satan, my man. Check it out, man. I'm a bat, man. That's cool, right?
Satan: Yeah, yeah. I see that. What happened?
Little Brittle: Oh, come on, man. You know it don't matter what I sa--aah!

(Closing Credits)

Please come visit me, dawg
the residue of manywho are about to die
emit from the tragic castles which I now reside
come before seven, that's when they close the blinds
strap me down, steal my watch
which is no surprise
I suck applesauce through a bendy straw
when I poop, all the nursescome and applaud
I used to slap at the band, used to bunk with broads--