Aqua Teen Adventures - Premiere Online Source for Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Episode 47 - eDork

Click on the filename above the transcription to download the clip. Enjoy!

edork1.mp3

Emory: I guess it was..nobody.
Ignignokt: Priceless, Err.
Oglethorpe: It was them! Get them on the space feed at once!
Ignignokt: (picks up phone) Hello.
Oglethorpe: (disguising voice) Uhh.. Hello. Is this..uh.. This is Mr.. Brown...Sample.. of the..
Ignignokt: I'm sorry, you have the wrong number. (Hangs up)
Oglethorpe: DAMMIT!

Master Shake: Do you even have it on?!?
Frylock: What? Have what on? What are you-
Master Shake: I've been frantically text messaging you for 3 hours! I thought you were ignoring me. But I guess you don't have one of these! Huh? Huh?

edork2.mp3

Frylock: What is it?
Master Shake: This happens to be an e-helmet. And it will change the way you think and live forever.
Frylock: Yeah.. and what about the pack?
Master Shake: It allows the e-helmet to change the way you think and live forever.
Frylock: So it's a battery?
Master Shake: Yeah.. a battery.. try 12 batteries! And it's heavy as hell, but it is also cool as crap. You oughta get one.

Frylock: Well I'll tell you what, it seems awfully convenient, Shake, but I think I'll just stick with my cellphone.
Master Shake: But you don't even know what this does yet!
Frylock: Okay, what does it do, Shake? What could it possibly do?
Master Shake: It's a cellphone.
Frylock: Wow.
Master Shake: But it also text messages! ("I Am Bad-Ass" scrolls on helmet) Ha ha!!
Frylock: Yeah..so does mine.
Master Shake: Oh yeah? Well you think you're so great, huh? Well check this out. M-Mine has an antenna. Where's your antenna? Huh? What are you doing?
Frylock: I'm takin' a picture of your stupid ass.
Master Shake: Is that really a camera?
Frylock: Oh, it's only 14 megapixels. But it works for what I need it for. Which is really nothing.
Master Shake: This is not over!

Schooly D: Damn where ya'll getin all ya'll money? Ya'll like Tommy, you ain't got no job.

Master Shake: Hey everybody, come on outside! It's picture time!

edork3.mp3

Meatwad: I'm Commander Meat, and you are in direct violation of Space Treaty 109...your ass is mine.
Master Shake: Aha! Treaties only go up to 103. Everyone from space knows that.
Meatwad: Well, I mean I know that.. I was just playin' with you..
Master Shake: Those treaties are very real and very serious.

Master Shake: In fact--Wait! Where did you? That is not your e-Helmet
Meatwad: Oh well yeah it is. 'Cause Frylock says it's stupid, that's why I could wear it. 'Cause I don't know no better.
Master Shake: Why was I not e-messaged about this?
Frylock: Because I told you that to your face.... with my mouth!
Master Shake: This is not how we talk now. Do you think I can hear very well with this on? Do ya? (Helmet scrolls "No, I can't") Hehehe. Did you check that out? Did you read that? (Shake and Meatwad's helmets both say "OMG!")
Meatwad: Hehehe. OMG!

edork4.mp3

Master Shake: Those are my electronic emotions. It allows me to conserve my body's energy for carryin' all this stuff.
Frylock: Yeah.. it looks like it's gotten bigger.
Master Shake: Oh, you must be referring to the e-photo plugin. You pop it on your back and ya go, these are travel size baby.
Frylock: All that is a camera?
Master Shake: Mostly. The bottom part here keeps me intravenously hydrated. 'Cause lemme tell ya, this e-crap is heavy.

edork13.mp3

Meatwad: Why don't you just go to the hose and drink you some water. Like the dog you are.

Master Shake: I'm not turnin on some analog faucet to drink some barbaric water! The mouth is a primitive hole that will soon be phased out. You better start takin' some pictures of those.
Meatwad: Hey, can you phase it out now? 'Cause it's pissing me off.
Master Shake: (Helmet reads "Hel Yeah!") Can you read that or should I try a different font?
Frylock: Uh you spelled hell wrong.
Master Shake: That's how it's spelled in the e-world. Alright now put on your e-helmet. I'm gonna forward you a very funny story about a duck in a bar.
Frylock: It's not mine anymore, I gave it to Meatwad.
Master Shake: NO!
Meatwad: Yes.
Master Shake: It's the only other helmet it'll talk to; it's too advanced to be compatible with anything else!!
Meatwad: Uh are we gonna send me that funny story now. I need me some new material... for my Knot Club Ad.
Master Shake: Uh I'll just tell you in person as I jam that helmet right into your brains!
Meatwad: NO!
Master Shake: UGH! Ahh!
Meatwad: I mean.
Master Shake: COME ON!
Meatwad: Let's go come on.
Master Shake: GOD!
Meatwad: Come get you some. What's wrong you scared?
Master Shake: Tell him to come over here, please.
Frylock: Why don't you just e-message him?
Master Shake: He's not in my contact list! (Shake's helmet reads "Meat Rulz!!!")

Schooly D: Ha ha ha. Come on man! Y'all know that sh*t is funny.

Master Shake: Frylock, would you like to see some of the messages your little meat friend has been sending me?
Frylock: Oh Meatwad doesn't have the helmet anymore.
Master Shake: Spoiler Alert. It involves a pig.
Carl: Here piggy, piggy, piggy. Come get the bacon ya know what I mean, ha ha ha. It's sad that you gotta wear that thong made out of corn 'cause, uh, in every other way they seem like they're in love. Oh wait! No way! Monkey--awesome.

edork12.mp3

Master Shake: Look at this - a monkey drinking its own urine. L-O-L, I-M-H-O, colon parenthesis.

Master Shake: You hear this?
Frylock: Not anymore.
Master Shake: What the hell's that thing?
Frylock: It's just an Mp3 player, holds 40,000 songs.
Master Shake: F*ck you! Handtruck me up!

edork5.mp3

Carl: This is so weird. I think I'm actually done bein' horny. (pig takes off thong) Oh wait. No we're not. No we are not.

Master Shake: Yo, Carlos! Come outside, baby.
Carl: Don't come in here!
Master Shake: Come on!
Meatwad: Why don't you just text message him.
Master Shake: Why don't you just text shut up! Carlos!
Meatwad: Hey, hey! You got a big old piano on your back.
Master Shake: It's an Eiano!

edork6.mp3

Carl: What the hell is that?
Master Shake: It takes your mp3's that you download, live off the internet, and transforms them into this song.
Carl: Yeah, but will it do the ultimate song: Boston's "More than a Feeling"?
Master Shake: Yeah! It'll do anything and turn it into this song!
Carl: You're serious?
Master Shake: Here, I got ya one.
Carl: Friggin' awesome.
Master Shake: Do you like to do the treadmill?
Carl: Excercise is for women.
Master Shake: Now you can! The concert's in your head!

Schooly D: Man, Shake, I ain't wanna say nothin' man, but you look like a motherf*cking idiot. Hahaha!
Master Shake: You know, this is cool and all, but I'm kinda getting a bad headache.
Carl: Yeah I know what you mean man.
Master Shake: I don't know if it's the song or if it's the heavy magnets that were inserted into my neck.

edork7.mp3

Meatwad: Here's something that must be attached to your head.
Master Shake: I just may. What is it?
Meatwad: Well, it's an e-booger. See, it allows...booger transmission...to the snot network! I wiped it on you, boy!!
Master Shake: Wipe it off! Great, it's gonna harden now.

Master Shake: Carl, little help!
Carl: Oh yes. You've been a bad, bad... chicken.
Master Shake: Hey, will ya put that damn farm porn away for just two seconds.
Carl: No. Check out this link. It's funny but it's also kinda hot.
Frylock: Will you shut that f*cking ragtime music off! This is like I live at Shakey's Pizza!
Master Shake: Well I like it, and turning it off is simply not an option. It does not have an off switch.
Frylock: Yeah I know, so I went ahead and ordered these.
Master Shake: Oooh. So what are they?
Frylock: This is the Eiano silencer. (Music stops) Oh thank God!
Master Shake: Hey, hook up those e-toms while you're back there, huh?
Frylock: E-Toms?
Master Shake: Plug and play, Yeah! See it drowns out the sound of the Eiano!! Hey Carl, yeah, how you like those e-toms, huh?!? He's dead to the world, he's down on the farm if you know what I mean. Now wheel me inside I gotta pee!
Frylock: Oh hell no, no. Shake you're not comin' in the house with that!
Master Shake: Well I'm not comin' into the house but it ain't 'cause of that reason you said!
Frylock: Yeah, because your stupid ass is sinking into the dirt!
Master Shake: Well that's what you think 'cause you see that.
Frylock: Yeah I do. Oh why don't you see if you can email your pee?!
Master Shake: I will! They're beta testing that!

Master Shake: I sure hope that new upgrade comes in before it rains. Carl, can you move?
Carl: Oh yeah.
Master Shake: Good, can you drag me insi-
Carl: Touch the horse now.
Master Shake: Oh for God's sake! Talk to me, not to Candy! Look, if it rains we could die out here and those EMTs ain't gonna wanna be peeling your filthy underwear off!
Carl: Oh that's fine, just put the horse on the other end there.
Master Shake: Okay. It's just me, Hail Mary time! I'm gonna rock back and forth. Did you see it move?
Meatwad: Hey, ya'll surfin the internet?
Master Shake: Yeah, you stupid newbie, yes. Hey what are you doing?
Meatwad: Paintin' you with honey.
Master Shake: That could be cool. Hey what's that? Is that my package?!
Meatwad: Huh uh. It's my package.
Master Shake: No it's not, it's mine!
Meatwad: I'm allowed to order a package.
Master Shake: Okay fine, it's your package. So what did you get in your package that's not mine?
Meatwad: Well I don't know lets see. BEES BOY! Bees! You got bees!
Master Shake: NO! Carl, no, help me we got bees here.
Carl: Bees? Did you get the link I sent you about the woman having sex with the bee?
Master Shake: Will you shut up! (Two pairs of robot legs enter) Thank God! I couldn't be happier to see you. Alright come over boy. (Legs attach to the helmets; begin having sex) Great now run inside the house before it rains! Hurry up! (e-toms blow up) Wait a minute what's going on?
Carl: I don't know, I can't see back here.
Meatwad: What ya'll doing? Ya'll playin'?
Master Shake: Look, we're advancing the world through technology.
Meatwad: Cause it look like them old boys is... That toy's in heat.
Frylock: Meatwad come here, that's not appropriate for you to see.
Carl: Will someone tell me what's going on back here?
Meatwad: They're makin' babies out here!
Master Shake: Well, obviously they don't know any better. That's why we need the intelligence helmets to give them reason. Frylock, order the intelligence helmet immediately!
Meatwad: Do standard delivery.
Master Shake: No! Same-same It's gotta be same day!

edork8.mp3

Frylock: Is Carl okay?
Carl: Someone just please shut off all the sex. I'm startin' to chaff here.

Frylock: Um sorry about this Shake, but we can only afford one of these and it's really not the high end model.
Master Shake: Hahaha. So what are we talking about here?
Carl: Shut up now let him talk!

edork10.mp3

Frylock: Well, it does have human intelligence.
Master Shake: Good.
Carl: All right, cool.
Master Shake: Keep talkin'.
Frylock: But only of... a 4-year-old.
Carl: Awww.. crap!
Master Shake: You know what, that's enough. They know pain, and a 4-year-old would definitely run from this.
Carl: Turn it on.
Master Shake: Please, for the love of God.
Frylock: Okay. Here we go!
Robot: Mommy it's tingly, I don't understand it!
Frylock: Oh look! It's working!
Robot: No means no! I telling on you!
Carl: Aww.. I feel like I need to call my parents.

Master Shake: It's a beautiful thing, intelligence, the control and restraint shown.
Robot: A pool! Oh boy! Mommy I go swimming! Look Mommy I go swimming
Master Shake: No, no! Mommy says no! OH PLEASE NO!!! (Shake's robot jumps in the pool, Carl's robot runs after)
Carl: Let her go she's too young for you!!! (Robots explode)

edork9.mp3

Meatwad: Well, really the moral is that technology..um..that nice yellow powder chair in the living room is mine. That's mine and from now on I call it.