Aqua Teen Adventures - Premiere Online Source for Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Episode 43 - Video Ouija

Click on the filename above the transcription to download the clip. Enjoy!

videoouija1.mp3

Emory: You know, we have time. You really need us to go to warp speed?
Oglethorpe: Yes, I want everyone to know I'm fast and I will tear ass all over the galaxy and totally trench their galaxy.
Emory: All right.. whatever you say... (turns on the warp speed and passes the Mooninite ship)
Oglethorpe: Boy we are reall--oh no he did not do that!
Emory: What?
Oglethorpe: That dude back there just flipped me off!!!
Emory: Really? You saw that?
Err: Did he see you?
Ignignokt: (with finger up) Oh yes Err...
Oglethorpe: Stop the ship!!!
Emory: Ok, you know what always happens though..

Game: Welcome to Video Ouija!
Meatwad: Spirits that haunt this house-- Come out! And play with me!
Master Shake: What do you think you're runnin' the Matrix? You're gonna break that thing.

videoouija2.mp3

Meatwad: Ssshh. You're disturbing the presence.
Frylock: Look, Shake. He needs complete silence so he can talk to the dead.
Master Shake: Yeah, well. He needs a lack of oxygen so he can become the dead.

Game: Has an intruder entered the ouija realm?
Master Shake: All right, scoot over. I control this now.
Frylock: Shake, don't do that!
Meatwad: No no! You ain't supposed to touch it, you're just supposed to let your hand rest on it.
Master Shake: I got a smart bomb locked onto this guy and it's gonna blow him up.
Frylock: Frylock, he's touchin' it!
Master Shake: All right, all right! You don't have to tell, little baby. This is a piece of crap anyhow. In fact, I may destroy it.
Frylock: Okay, Meatwad. Time to put it up. It's getting late.

videoouija3.mp3

Meatwad: Come on!! Just one more dead person.. pleasee??? Just one more dead guy...
Frylock: All right, one more.
Meatwad: Spirits that haunt this house. Tell me...what was we talkin' 'bout?

Ghost: My sister's baby.
Meatwad: Oh yeah, yeah, one them other dead boys told me about that. How she doin?
Ghost: She's dead. We're all dead.
Meatwad: Well at least it had all its fingers and toes, you know what I mean?
Master Shake: Hey, Frylock. Come back here, quick!
Meatwad: So uh, what else is goin' on?
Master Shake: Check it out! I'm screwing up his little game.
Frylock: What are you doing?! Wait! Shake!
Master Shake: What do you think I'm doing?!

videoouija4.mp3

Master Shake: I am gonna get in that little game of his, and then I'm gonna sooo hose him! 'Til his heart stops! See? And then-and then I'm the winner!

Frylock: Well you're not gonna do it this way.
Master Shake: You always take his side! I would say don't ever talk to me again, but I'm not talking to you. So there's no point in saying it because you're not even here!
Frylock: Good night, Shake.
Master Shake: Good night.

Frylock: Hey, Carl.
Carl: Can I show you something real quick?

videoouija5.mp3

Carl: It starts here...where I used to have a full tank of gas.
Frylock: Uh huh..
Carl: And uh..hey! What's bubblin' in the pool?
Frylock: Oh my God! What're those?? Piranhas?
Carl: Well.. yeah. I mean, Shake's in there too. You can't see him cause he's..in the piranhas, but you know.
Frylock: Shake!!
Carl: N-n-no, Fryman. Back off. Them fish are still alive. They're just sorta ya know, tired from all them sleeping pills Shake swallowed.

Carl: Hey, did he want to kill himself?
Frylock: Oh my G-- Is this a note?

videoouija6.mp3

Master Shake: Friends, relations, whatever the hell Meatwad is: I've lived a full life. It's actually been pretty bitchin'. But now, regrettably, my life has been taken. Please bury me with all of my stuff because you know it's mine. Dearest Meatwad, turn on that dumb game cause I'm gonna wail on you from the grave, baby!! (Sounds of torturing Meatwad) Suck it up, motha! Missing you already, MS.

videoouija7.mp3

Carl: Fryman, I am so sorry that uh, I can't press charges here.
Frylock: Yeah, me too.
Carl: You know, I can't help but notice that you're trying to leave right now. Any chance you were gonna clean the Shake stew outta my pool?
Frylock: No.
Carl: Okay. Watch your back.

videoouija14.mp3

Guy 1: Hey man, You stole my wrist watch!
Guy 2: You dumb, I already have a wrist watch. You dumb!
Narrator: Buuuuuuuurrnn!!!
Meatwad: Heheh yeah! buurrrnn.
Guy 1: I saw you lookin' at it!
Guy 2: Joe Mama you did!
Narrator: Classic comeback!
Guy 2: Joe Mama Joe Mama Joe Mama!
Narrator: Incineration!!
Meatwad: All right!
Narrator: You're the insult master!

Frylock: So uh, where's video ouija?
Meatwad: Pssh. I'm done with that game. I talked to that ghost about his sister's baby for like three hours. Boring.
Frylock: Well maybe there's someone else in there.
Meatwad: Yeah, his sister's baby. All you get in there is 'Wah, wah, wah!', for the ghost baby cranky!
Frylock: Well you never know, let's give it another shot, okay?
Meatwad: Uh, I don't think you heard me, I said no.

videoouija8.mp3

Meatwad: BURNED!! I am the insult master!!!!

Frylock: Uh, Meatwad. Master Shake is dead.
Meatwad: That's cool.

Frylock: Shake? Shake, are you in there?
Master Shake: Why isn't he playing? Get his ass out of bed and get him on this thing!
Frylock: I hate to tell you this, Shake, but he's kinda gotten tired of video ouija.
Master Shake: No!! I went to great lengths to do this. You get the hell over there and force-- Hold on. Shut up! Go find a nipple!
Frylock: Shake, will you stop? You're just riling him up.
Master Shake: He's being a baby!
Frylock: He is a baby!!
Master Shake: And he still won't stop! Frylock, get me out of here. This place sucks ass.
Frylock: Well, well Shake I mean.. I..
Master Shake: What? What?
Frylock: I can't just bring you back to life.
Master Shake: Come on, you can do it! You know! You're like, a math guy!
Frylock: I don't think that math is gonna bring you back from the dead.
Master Shake: Well what the hell is? Excuse me. SHUT UP!!!
Frylock: Hell, I don't know!
Master Shake: Well you better find out because without me, you're lost, buddy! I'm not good with kids!!

Frylock: So, how is this pronounced?
Billywitchdoctor.com: Billy.
Frylock: Okay. Have you ever worked with anything any larger than a chicken?
Billywitchdoctor.com: Billywitchdoctor.com work mostly in chicken.
Frylock: Well could Billywitchdoctor.com maybe raise something else from the dead? Bigger than a chicken?
Billywitchdoctor.com: Mega-ultra chicken? No! Sssh. He is legend.
Frylock: Well no, I mean I was thinking more like a human.. milk shake. or something like that.
Billywitchdoctor.com: Oh. Billywitchdoctor.com feel more comfortable with chicken.
Frylock: Just chickens, huh? Okay and you're local?
Billywitchdoctor.com: One convenient locations. In Africa.
Frylock: Okay, well, we'll be in touch!
Meatwad: I think we found our man, Frylock. 'Cause look at this here. He done pulled this out of my ear! Look at that-- he did it again!
Frylock: Oh hell, hey-hey-hey Billy! Hey wait!
Meatwad: I want that boy for my birthday party!

videoouija9.mp3

Carl: Why am I here?
Frylock: Well... Billywitchdoctor.com needs a minimum of four people to create a seance ring so he can bring Shake back from the dead.
Carl: We're wha? We're bringing him back?
Meatwad: Whoa.. is that what we doin' here? Uh-uh, my ass we is. I ain't be hit all day. I kinda like it.

Billywitchdoctor.com: Please, please. All together. Hold hands.

videoouija10.mp3

Carl: No, no no no. No, no. No, sir. I don't know what kinda vibe you think got off me but I don't play that way. I'm not that way!
Frylock: Carl..
Carl: I don't uh..do both sides of the field. Offense and defense, you know with the short shorts? No-
Frylock: Carl, it's just a seance, it's not that way, come on, will ya?
Billywitchdoctor.com: Now, please. Kiss him deep with tongue.
Carl: Do what?!
Billywitchdoctor.com: Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho. Just kid. Just kid, dirty boy.

videoouija11.mp3

Billywitchdoctor.com: Touch hands. (Carl and Frylock join hands; Meatwad takes a polaroid)
Meatwad: You boyfriend and boyfriend!!
Frlyock: Meatwad!!

Frylock: Will you settle down? This is serious!
Meatwad: Okay.

videoouija15.mp3

Billywitchdoctor.com: Please. Read from sheets. I Am..
Group: I Am..
Billywitchdoctor.com: Sofa King..
Group: Sofa King..
Billywitchdoctor.com: We Todd Ed...
Group: We Todd Ed..
Billywitchdoctor.com: Now, repeat all very fast, please..
Group: I Am Sofa King..
Billywitchdoctor.com: Faster..
Group: I Am Sofa King We..
Billywitchdoctor.com: No, no, not so fast. Loses meaning.
Group: I Am Sofa King We Todd Ed...
Billywitchdoctor.com: Hohohohoh, you say funny thing.

Billywitchdoctor.com: Arise!
Frylock: Uhh Billy? I'm not an expert but don't you need like a piece of his body or an article of his clothing or an eyelash or--?
Billywitchdoctor.com: No. Yes. Yes, go get it. Me intern.
Meatwad: You know what you're doing. Do you uh, you do birthdays?
Billywitchdoctor.com: Get with me after this.
Frylock: Okay.
Billywitchdoctor.com: That crazy hat for chicken?

videoouija13.mp3

Frylock: Yeah, uh. Hey, Billy. You do remember that we're not doing a chicken?
Billywitchdoctor.com: Oh, yes. Yes, of course. Chicken arise! Arise Chicken! Arise!
Meatwad: Arise chicken! Everybody do it. Arise!

Billywitchdoctor.com: Okay. My bad. Now, wait for fog machine. Arise, arise.
Meatwad: Arise!
Billywitchdoctor.com: Arise chicken!
Meatwad: Arise!
Billywitchdoctor.com: Arise chicken.
Meatwad: Arise chicken.
Billywitchdoctor.com: Oh wait. Stick upside down. Chicken arise.
Meatwad: Hey chicken. Arise.
Billywitchdoctor.com: Arise chicken.
Meatwad: Arise chicken.
Billywitchdoctor.com: Arise chicken.
Meatwad: Arise chick-- Hey chicken arise.
Billywitchdoctor.com: Move over here. Better reception. Arise.
Meatwad: Arise.
Billywitchdoctor.com: Arise chicken.
Meatwad: Arise chicken.
Billywitchdoctor.com: Arise.
Meatwad: Arise.
Billywitchdoctor.com: Arise.
Meatwad: Arise chicken.
Billywitchdoctor.com: Arise chicken.

videoouija12.mp3

Carl: So uh..can we stop holding hands in fairy-land here? My hand is going to permanently smell like a burger.

Frylock: Hang-hang on Carl just give me a sec. Uh, Shake, uh, if you can hear me. Uh, arise.
Carl: And the smell does not come off, Fryman.
Frylock: Arise.
Carl: I gotta wait for the skin on this hand to die.

videoouija16.mp3

Frylock: Ariiiiiiiise.
Carl: No... no... NO!
*Ultra Mega Chicken falls on Carl and Carl yells*
Meatwad: Hmm. Who the hell is that?
Frylock: I think that's Ultra Mega Chicken
Meatwad: Okay, well can I let go of this hand now?