Aqua Teen Adventures - Premiere Online Source for Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Episode 39 - The Dressing

Click on the filename above the transcription to download the clip. Enjoy!

thedressing11.mp3

Steve: (Space Ghost's body is missing a head and bleeding everywhere.) Ughhh. What do we do with this?
Dr. Weird: There can be only one! (Shoves Space Ghost's head on his own)
Seth Green: Nice.

thedressing1.mp3

Meatwad: Hey, Carl.
Carl: Is that all you came to say? Are we uh- are we done here?
Meatwad: I don't know. I don't think so.
Carl: Well, then what?
Meatwad: What do you mean? Oh! Pssh, Shoot, I knew I was gonna forget this. I got a note here, someone wrote me a note. Hang on.
Carl: It says uh, "Start salmon hatchery in Carl's pool".
Meatwad: Oky doky. Where are the fish eggs?
Carl: No, no no. Get back here.
Meatwad: Hang on.. HERE we go! (Pulls out Jingle Billy) Oh wait, that ain't a note. That's a toy. Here it is. (Pulls out Squirrelly-dead squirrel)
Carl: (Reaches into Meatwad; pulls out note) "Invite Carl to eat Thanksgiving dinner." Well, isn't that sweet? Too bad it was over a week ago.
Meatwad: Don't matter. We doin' it today. We don't usually celebrate. We ain't American, yet. 'Til we pass that dumb test. That test a bitch!

Carl: (Sniffs) Whoa, what do you got over there? That smells edible.
Meatwad: Well it's a traditional Thanksgiving spread. We got a bunch of tacos we mushed up with a hammer, put crackers on top. That called taco pie.
Carl: What-you got a bird over there?
Meatwad: Hell yeah! Bird is the word!
Carl: Well all right! Just uh--ya know, give me a sec. Let me adjust myself. Oh yeah. We got 'em. Let's go.

thedressing2.mp3

Frylock: Carl is going to join us, right?
Meatwad: Yep, but he says he'd rather take his food out on the lawn...where there's witnesses.

Frylock: Oh, well all right. I think we're ready! Uh, Shake. You want to lead us in a blessing before you eat? Or do you just want to make a pig out of yourself right now?!
Master Shake: I know. It's a racist holiday. I stand in line with my martian brothers and celebrate casino-edness, so that we can enjoy the-- Ooo is that whipped--hand me that whipped cream!
Frylock: Fine, I'll do the prayer. Carl, bow your head out there.
Carl: Hey, toss me a roll!
Frylock: Lord, we give thanks for this food we are about to receive--
Master Shake: Excuse me. Little help.

thedressing3.mp3

Master Shake: Could I have the tacos, please?
Frylock: (praying) Ahem ..this bounty of Tacos..
Master Shake: Could you pass the tacos? Could you pass me the TACOS?!
Frylock: HERE!
Master Shake: Okay, then.
Carl: This roll is wet!
Master Shake: Sorry, please go on.
Frylock: Ahem. For the fellowship we have with our--
Meatwad: Hey, hey. Wait. What's a fellowship?
Master Shake: It's a gay bar down on 9th. Aren't you glad we're thanking the Lord for a nautically themed gay bar?!
Frylock: For the fellowship we have with our neighbor Carl!
Carl: No, do not rope me into this. The Lord does not need to know that I am here.
Frylock: Please help us to be--
Meatwad: Amen. Okay, who's gonna whittle this turkey?
Master Shake: Outta the way! I will ruin this bird with my anger!

Turkitron: Drop the chainsaw if you want him to live.
Carl: Help me.
Master Shake: I call all the dark meat!
Meatwad: Shotgun!
Frylock: Shake, put that damn chainsaw down! Give it here!
Master Shake: But I did call shotgun.
Turkitron: That's better!

thedressing14.mp3

Frylock: Uh, can we get you to lower our neighbor now? I mean, he didn't do anything to you.
Turkitron: ...yet.
Carl: I knew something wasn't normal; I'm not letting it ride this time-- frickin' robot turkey. I knew something was up!
Turkitron: Is he mad?
Meatwad: Nah, don't worry about him. He's always got his butt chapped about something.

Master Shake: Now Frylock is gonna want to know who you're after and then he'll say something like, 'Oh my God' or something. He's so predictable!
Frylock: Now who the hell are you?
Turkitron: I am Turkitron. I have been sent here from the year 9595 to save this bird that lies before you for he is the great, great, great, great grandfather of Goblox, the turkey that's destined to lead the rebellion against master chickens.
Frylock: Well I mean that's fine, we won't eat him, but I mean look at him. He's dead.
Turkitron: He's dead!
Frylock: He's been in our oven for three hours at 350 degrees!
Turkitron: Why that's impossible!
Frylock: Look at him.
Turkitron: He's dead! Do you know who Goblox is?! I will tell you who Goblox is.

thedressing4.mp3

Turkitron: In the year 9595, a race of deformed turkey was genetically developed by chicken scientists as revenge against his bird brother. These turkeys would exit the womb doused in gravy; gravy filled with the giblets from a monkey. The French craved it and as a result, turkey became the only food source for France which is now called RoboFrance29. I was later killed by the chickens. So, of course, you can see why I'm angry at those chickens.

Frylock: Uh-huh. You know, you sound very familiar to me.
Turkitron: Of course I do.

thedressing5.mp3

Turkitron: Months and months ago I came upon your neighbor taking the form of the Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future. But I didn't realize he was an agent; a chicken in disguise. Sent from the year 19-- Sent from the year 19--.
Frylock: 9595?
Turkitron: From there, they had evolved big time. From beyond feathers, their beaks had softened and they had acquired synthetic intelligence and appendages from the chicken black market from beyond the moon!
Master Shake: Are you serious? Carl?! Next-door Carl is a hyper-evolved chicken from the future?

Turkitron: What? You are?
Master Shake: He is. He ain't right!
Turkitron: I knew that. And that's why I had to return and erase his mind and my mind as well. I had to be reformulated by rogue chicken scientists for the rebellion. They crafted my sleek, turkey body which allowed for safe passage through the time rift. So, in summation, the bird comes with me. Dead or alive.
Frylock: Well you don't have a choice, dude. He's dead. I mean, I told you that.
Turkitron: I must take the bird into a time rift. To a time before he was cooked.
Frylock: All right.
Turkitron: I'm waiting for the time rift to open. It could be anywhere at any time.
Frylock: Okay, well, you don't mind if we eat right? While you wait?
Turkitron: Oh yes of course, sure. Is that a taco pie?
Meatwad: Mm-hmm.
Turkitron: Taco pie?!

thedressing6.mp3

Meatwad: I added food coloring cause it's a holiday. But it turned black cause I added all the food coloring I have. And I ate this butter straight outta the tub cause it taste good. There's a reason behind everything.
Turkitron: Enjoy those tacos now, for in a thousand years, they will be illegal. Hahaha. I think we all know why.
Meatwad: We know why.
Turkitron: Anti-taco legislation! Disestablishmentarianism!

Master Shake: Whew, that's a good story. Hey, why don't you sit down while you, ya know-- Whoa!
Turkitron: Mmm, These are pretty good. You know, I really like the flow of this place. It screams party. You know, that last bite, it reminds me of this severely long story about how the chickens became a master race through a freak accident involving radiation, and interestingly enough, to me, marshmallow! And the black market taco pie--
Frylock: Psst, yo! Yo, come here.
Master Shake: Is that the same guy?
Frylock: Yeah, I think so; he's crazy!

thedressing7.mp3

Master Shake: I think he's really from the year 9595!
Meatwad: I think so too!
Master Shake: Did you hear his story?!
Meatwad: I heard it. And it checks out.
Master Shake: It is solid.

Frylock: Yeah, Shake, in the future they all carry their belongings in a plastic bag.
Master Shake: That is a future bag, I say that with all confidence.
Meatwad: These tube socks need to be washed.
Master Shake: What do you got a bar of soap in here for? You're a friggin' robot!
Turkitron: Excuse m- Excuse me?! Those are weapons! They are all laser-guided, and I get crazy if you touch them! Now where was I? Oh yes!

thedressing10.mp3

Turkitron: It was 100 years after the tacos were assassinated and I was still --
Meatwad: I thought they was illegal. Was they dead or illegal?
Turkitron: Oh, is this your story now? Does this happen to you and not to me? Well listen up everybody! He's about to tell his amazing story. The one that happened to me and not him.
Meatwad: I'm-I'm sorry. You-You got it.
Turkitron: Are you sure I have it? Are you sure that since it happened to me I should be the one to tell it? Oh well then yes I thought I did. (Gulps wine) Pass me more wine. I shall require it to finish. (Gulps more)

Turkitron: You want some?
Frylock: Not now.

thedressing12.mp3

Turkitron: See this thing here... We had a major run in during the conflict of mechanical advantage 6.
Master Shake: Yeah, just guzzle it down, who cares right?
Turkitron: Damn you Billy! Damn it. You thought you had my mind under your control, but now, who's strapped to a wall enslaved by the chickens, huh? You are strapped to the wall, man.
Master Shake: Come on, please? Gimme a break will ya? Hey Down in front. Do you mind?
Turkitron: And I'm not.. And who is now? You are... dick.
Master Shake: WHOA!

thedressing13.mp3

Turkitron: Is that a time rift over there?
Frylock: No, that-that's a curtain.
Turkitron: Move.
Frylock: Hey, uhh. Are you all right?
Turkitron: Get out of the time rift! You have no idea where this will send you.
Frylock: Okay, okay man. Hey, you wanna lie down in the back for a little while? While you're waiting for your rift?
Turkitron: Yeah, you wanna lie down because I hit you in the face?

Frylock: He's out! Hurry!
Turkitron: Fine, I am not spinning. Don't touch me.
Master Shake: You son of a bitch!

Frylock: Okay, I think that's got it. Check him for weapons.
Meatwad: These socks here are laser guided, be gentle with those. And this toothbrush does something too.
Turkitron: It cleans my teeth. The chickens polluted my gums with plaque. What are you doing? Get out of my mind!
Frylock: There we go.
Turkitron: Hey y'all! Gobble gobble! I'm Tom Turkey. Do the hustle!

thedressing8.mp3

Master Shake: Look at this!
Frylock: Well, that explains it. 'Robot-Turkey Toy Recall'
Master Shake: No, not that. Down here. The picture!
Frylock: What? A panty-hose ad?
Master Shake: You better believe it.
Frylock: It says here they made--
Master Shake: Gimme that, it's mine.
Frylock: It says here they made 5,000 of those things
Master Shake: Seriously? 5,000 of that chick?!

Frylock: No, 5000 hustling Tom Turkeys! (Knocks on door) Oh no.
Master Shake: Hello--Whoa!
Turkitron: We are here for the great--
Master Shake: Next door, next door people! Right next door!
Turkitron: Oh, I'm sorry. Thank you.

thedressing9.mp3

Carl: You have got to be frickin' kidding me.
Turkitron: What are you eating?!
Carl: This is your uh.. great-great-great..uh... Your mother. (explosions)