Aqua Teen Adventures - Premiere Online Source for Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Episode 38 - The Clowning

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Steve: Uhh, Yeah. Six inch on wheat. Umm, No mayo. Uhh, hang on. Dr. Weird?

theclowning1.mp3

Dr. Weird: My ass has finally decided to eat my hand! It hungers for more!!

Steve: Uhh, yeah. Just the one hoagie.

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Frylock: Hey Carl! Hey, man. You're lookin' good today. You lost some weight, didn't ya?
Carl: Maybe a couple pounds. You know.
Frylock: You're here about the termites aren't ya.
Carl: Oh, yeah. Partly. Certainly not gonna sign for any more packages with the word 'Congo' written in blood.
Meatwad: Did the termites come? I wanna name mine Bobby.
Carl: Hey, come over and take your pick, please! There's millions to choose from!

Meatwad: Hey Bobby! Come here, boy. Come on boy. (In background) Come here, Bobby. Come on, boy. Come here, Bobby. Bobby! Hey! Bobby! Come here, Bobby!
Frylock: Well we'll just take Bobby off your hands. You can handle the rest, right?
Carl: Fine, ya know, whenever. Just, ya know, before the house disappears.
Frylock: I gotta say, Carl, you're taking this pretty well. You're usually a little more pissed off when we pull stuff like this.
Carl: Well I don't lose my cool as much anymore. I've kinda gone through some changes in the past 24 hours.

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Carl: Do you have a brush I could borrow?
Frylock: You know what, we don't. We're all uh, bald.
Meatwad: I got me one. I use this for my teeth and my hair.
Carl: Oh yeah, I forgot. I live next to a third world hellhole. Nevermind.

Master Shake: Whoa, wait a minute, Carl. I got--you know what you need! Here! Here's the ribcage from a chicken I didn't eat. Now, you know cavemen would actually use this to straighten their hair in the olden days.
Carl: Hey, hey, hey, no! No one touches this mane with a frickin' chicken bone. This cost me plenty! I mean-I mean--It's natural hair, but I mean you know heh.. It came from an animal. Can-can you tell it's fake?
Frylock: Really? It's fake?
Meatwad: Shoot yeah it's fake, what're you stupid? Look at it.
Master Shake: That's some damn space-age material you got there.
Carl: Hey! Put the flame away!
Frylock: Y'all are being rude to our only neighbor, now stop it.
Master Shake: You're being rude to me! Don't chain me down with your manners.
Carl: All right, I guess I'll go buy a brush.
Master Shake: You can buy this one!
Carl: I could've sworn I had one from middle school.
Master Shake: It's gonna end up in your lawn anyway!

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Carl: (Reading a self-help book called "Predater") I couldn't help but notice we made eye contact. I really like your shoes. Try laughter; laughter is a good us-- Screw th--, this is lame. Hey, I saw you checkin' out my goods. You wanna sample 'em? A little try before you buy, huh? Come here, bitch! Stand and deliver!
Master Shake: Come here, bitch please! Be polite.
Carl: How did you frickin' get in here?
Master Shake: Powers, I have 'em.. Ooo, so it was a rug!
Carl: Of course it's a rug. Yeah, I frickin' grew it over night.

Master Shake: Yeah, I knew it I'm not dumb, I'm just making conversation with you.
Carl: Well make it on your way out, okay?
Master Shake: All right, look, I've dealt with a lot of rugs before. The number one thing you don't want to do is wear it to bed, because you will swallow it.
Carl: I wasn't gonna do that, now get out of here.
Master Shake: And you don't want to pass that thing, let me tell ya.
Carl: Get out of here! Dammit. Frickin' come off!
Master Shake: You got the Boston box set? I'm just gonna borrow this, okay?
Carl: No, don't touch it! Dammit! Where's the frickin' pry bar?!

Master Shake: Are you still asleep? Now listen up, you are playing a deadly game wearing that wig to bed. You want to wake up hanging from it?
Carl: How did you get in here?!
Master Shake: Science fiction!
Carl: Whoa, whoa! Was my hair this curly last night?
Master Shake: What, are you fishing for compliments? You know, that's a horrible personality trait, nobody likes that.
Carl: No, no, no..

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Carl: L-Look at my hair.. It's actually rockin' a little harder now, yeah!

Master Shake: YOUR hair! It's always about what YOU have and YOU own. Well know this: if you're an object, don't ever cross me. I proved it to your CD, I proved it to your window, and I proved it to your record player and your lawn mower. And I will prove it to anything else-- (thrown out the window) I KNOW!
Carl: Man, I am lookin' good. Need to get that screamin' for vengeance t-shirt and score, big time!

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Hair Stand: The Clowning has begun! Hahah--
Carl: Who said th.. Did somebody say something? Hello? Eh, frickin' air vent. Prepare to scream for vengeance ladies!
Hair Stand: God! I wanted him to see me say it. I wanted to say, 'me, over here. I said it.'
Bingo: You fool!
Hair Stand: God, don't you just want to occasionally freak people out?!
Bingo: He must never know.
Hair Stand: Oh you got it, bud. You think he won't figure it out when his feet grow to the size of pontoons.
Bingo: Do you mock the Clown Society!?
Hair Stand: Look, I'll handle this, bingo. You just go back to your little midget car and your f***in' big feet, and f***in' fly around man.
Bingo: Okay, but I'm telling Sparkles.
Hair Stand: Oh good, that means your leaving. Now frickin' go you stupid clown!

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Carl: So this is just, ya know one of my many, many rental properties. I'm a rich man. (Old Lady cackles) Come on in. Let's see where this 12 pack takes us.

Meatwad: Hey! Frylock! Someone's trying to break in to Carl's house!
Frylock: That is Carl, Meatwad.
Meatwad: Huh uh, that person got a woman.
Frylock: A woman?
Master Shake: A woman?! Hang on, let me shave. Dammit! How do I shave?!

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Carl: (Air Guitar Solo)
Whore: Oh baby. That's rockin'.
Carl: Yeah. Yeah, I wrote that. It's called, I Wanna Rock Your Body and then in parentheses it says To the Break of Dawn.
Whore: That's beautiful. It's like poetry.
Carl: I wanna rock your body, baby!

Whore: (Carl jumps on top) Uhhh! Easy, big boy!

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Master Shake: Hey, take her shirt off!
Frylock: Shut up, man. She's gonna do it.
Master Shake: Let's go, let's see some skin.
Frylock: Shake! Sshh sshhh.
Meatwad: Pick me up, Lemme see, I wanna see!
Master Shake: You're not mature enough. Twist those dirty bags!

Carl: Don't you worry, I'm getting rid of them right now.
Whore: No, hey see if they want to join us.

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Carl: Oohhhh! Jackpot! I knew there was something special about you, and I'm not just saying that cause you're a whore. But you are a total whore!

Master Shake: Hey! The lady asked you a question, Carl.
Carl: No, no, no, no. That ain't happening, here.
Master Shake: Why not, red?
Carl: Red? Where's that comin' from?
Frylock: You know, Carl, sometimes hair dyes can be dangerous. I mean, are you sure that thing is FDA approved?
Carl: Yeah, hair dyes. Yeah, I'm Duran Duran. What're you frickin' talking about?
Frylock: Well it looks like you might be having a reaction to it.
Carl: I don't color my hair, I ain't no fruit! And I'm about to prove it to you. So you watch if you want, cause I think she kind of gets off on it. Dammit.
Frylock: Hmm. There's something wrong with that wig.

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Carl: Hey, wake up! Drink your beer... Make ya feel better, baby.

Frylock: We need to check it out. Let's go.
Master Shake: No way! I'm checking this out. Ahh.. moles?! Alright, wait for me. It's like a negative planetarium on that thing. 'Cause she's got all those moles!
Meatwad: I get it.
Master Shake: You gotta work with me on this.
Meatwad: It ain't making me laugh, but I get it.
Master Shake: Alright, I--you know you guys take the fun out of living!

Frylock: Oh my God, just as I thought. Shake take a look at this.
Master Shake: Oh. It's a classic case, it's by the book. He's-he's got it, doesn't he?
Frylock: That's right, his hair possesses a strain of galactic DNA from the clownisilis organism.
Master Shake: Yes, I know that! I could've told you that out on the lawn. But what does it mean?!
Frylock: It's bacteria, Shake. An ancient and rare bacteria and the wig that Carl has is full-- Put that down!
Master Shake: I'm listening! Just because I'm not looking at you doesn't mean I'm not listening, Frylock.
Frylock: Okay, well look, it makes the feet larger, discolors the hair, and splotches the skin. Symptoms include juggling, riding a unicycle, and talking with a horn. Now does that sound like anything you know?
Master Shake: Sure, I will in a minute.
Frylock: Did you hear what I just said?!
Master Shake: I have to because I get yelled at if I don't, and then I'll get an F.

Carl: Don't go! Where are you going?! I was just getting ready to rock your world, what's going on?!
Frylock: Carl, let her go! You're highly infectious! Carl, I'm afraid you've been clowned!
Carl: Yeah, I thought my flip flops felt a little tight.

Frylock: Carl, if you want me to help you, you need to please set those down. They're very expensive.
Carl: I fri--I fri--I frickin' can't I-I-I-I need to do this. It won't--
Master Shake: And the microscope.. Four ladies and gentleman!
Frylock: Put those down!

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Frylock: Carl, it's your wig. We need to destroy that wig!
Carl: No! We will not do that. It gave me confidence and almost sex.
Frylock: Have you seen it lately, Carl?
Carl: Ohhh, yeah. Get rid of that. Please get if off my head.

Frylock: Here we go.
Carl: (Screams) Oh God it hurts!
Frylock: What the--! Damn! Hang on, Carl, I'll be right back. Don't worry, I know what I'm doing. I have no frickin' idea what I'm doing.
Master Shake: The flamethrower--I'll go get it.
Meatwad: No, don't do that. I like this Carl, he's funny. What we need to do is have us a fun party, you know what I mean?
Master Shake: Yes! We can rent him out for parties!
Meatwad: Can I go to the party?
Master Shake: Well I don't know, can you afford Carlozo?
Frylock: Shut up, Shake. This is serious!
Master Shake: You don't even know how to party! And five ladies and gentleman! Oooh, ouch!
Meatwad: Hey, use that time machine. That'd work.
Master Shake: Yeah, that's what I said, use the time machine.
Frylock: We don't have a time machine.
Meatwad: Oh. I feel kinda funny. Like, 'haha' funny. Heheheh!
Frylock: Oh my God! It's spreading faster than I thought!
Carl: (Speaking with a horn) Please, God, kill me.
Frylock: Okay, that's it. What? We'll just freeze him until I can figure out a cure.

Narrator: Sixty seven years into the future, bitch.

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Master Shake: That coat rack just broke.
Frylock: What--What?
Master Shake: I said the coatrack broke!! Chad--Kent--what the hell was his name?
Frylock: Eat your own damn milk!
Master Shake: Yeah.

Meatwad: (Speaking with a horn) Call the hospital. I done shattered my hip.

Dr Weird: And that's how the wig works! Well you know, I mean. Of course you know.

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