Click on the filename above the transcription to download the clip. Enjoy!
frataliens19.mp3 Steve: Hey, I'm back from lunch. Dr. Weird: Where's mine?! Steve: Umm.. Uh. I thought you said you don't like to eat 'cause you said food makes you really(Dr. Weird rips his own brain out) crazy? Dr. Weird: This makes me really crazy!! Dr. Weird's Brain: Get me some fries, boy!
frataliens1.mp3 Carl: (Answering Machine) This is Carl. Leave me a message or.. a.. leave me alone. Either way, I don't care. Unless this is Mom...in which case, happy Mother's Day. Master Shake: Hey, buddy how's it goin'? Ya know, I just happen to check the PH levels in your pool and they are incredibly high, not good. Fix it or I'm gettin' a lawyer! Okay, Bye!
frataliens2.mp3 Carl: You know I love you guys.. Frylock: Carl, you all right? You're acting strange. Carl: Noo, I'm not. Frylock: Yes, you are. Carl: Come on. Race over here. Last one in is a rotten egg! Meatwad: Shake's a rotten egg! Frylock: Whoa.. Meatwad: Boy, that feels hot. Carl: Ohh, come on! Why'd ya stop? Keep comin'...you're so close!
Carl: Good, it works. You try doin' that with your body now.
frataliens4.mp3 Master Shake: Carl! Top shelf. Not the high end model, but it works for you and..ya know your.. income bracket. But don't worry, I'm not gonna tell anybody how cheap you are. Carl: Yeah, come closer there Shake man. You won't tell anybody anything...ever again.
frataliens20.mp3 Frylock: Hey, Carl. If you wouldn't mind, would you please turn your security grid the f*** off so I can get some sleep? Carl: Hang on.. Lemme think..... No.
frataliens5.mp3 Skeeter: Dude, you wanna move your thing? You almost killed us. DP: Yeah, or are you beggin' me instead...to like...mess up your pizza face in front of your girlfriend over there cause I'll do it. Skeeter: It's not worth it, dude. It's not worth it! DP: Look at my shit, man. My Dad's gonna be pissed. Skeeter: Dude, do you know who his Dad is? He's totally rich. He will totally hook you up, dude. We're drunk!
frataliens16.mp3 DP: So then you don't mind if I talk to her? Carl: Her? Yeah, knock yourself out. She's a regular ho-bag. DP: What's up little lady? Skeeter: Dude, she's got a bit of a 'stache.. DP: 's all right, she's good to go. Hey um, my Dad's like totally rich we own this dealership, so like.. what sorority are you in? Frylock: Excuse me?! I think you might have me confused with a woman. Skeeter: Aww, she burned ya dude! DP: Oh, so you couldn't get into a sorority? Frylock: I'm a man, all right? Skeeter: This is beat. Total sausage party...I think.
frataliens6.mp3 DP: Well, what else is open? Besides, your mouth? When your like kissing on some gay dude. And like, holdin' his like muscles 'cause his arms just are like wrapped around you. And you feel like so safe... 'cause your like... you know... not that you're gay or nothin' but God you just wanna like bury yourself in his chest and just live there forever...
frataliens7.mp3 DP: Hang on.. What's your name babe? Master Shake: I'm Shake. DP: Ahh. You wanna take me to your dorm room for a drink or somethin'? Master Shake: No.. but I believe this little lady needs to have a life experience! DP: Come here. Meatwad: Whatchu doin' there? Don't kiss me!! DP: No.. it's cool. Meatwad: Get away from me! You stay outside.. you scare me! Skeeter: Ohhhh.. rejected!!
frataliens8.mp3 Master Shake: How about we have a panty raid?! (DP Throws up) Oohh.. okay. Well...finish throwin' up there...
frataliens9.mp3 Master Shake: Somebody's a little bi-curious! Meatwad: I ain't no bi-curious! I'm a man's man! Master Shake: Not anymore! I've planted the seed of doubt! Meatwad: You don't say that! I'm a man... and if y'all need me I'll be in the garage.. hangin' sheet rock roundin' edges that I'm rebuildin. Master Shake: Look at the way he rolls... Meatwad: Where's my chewin' tobacco?! Master Shake: Just like a woman.
DP: ..what? Frylock: Wake up, frat boy. Look, I hate to do this, but I'm gonna have to ask you to get off my lawn. DP: Oh man. What time is it? Frylock: It's 1.. in the afternoon. DP: Wake and bake, dude. Wake and bake. Are you Holden? Frylock: No. DP: Did William Holden come to the party? Frylock: No. DP: You got Holden..Caufield in there, man? Frylock: No, we don't do that here.
frataliens10.mp3 DP: The party probe! Frylock: Oh brother. DP: Did I feel her up, dude? Frylock: It was a laser! DP: Ohhh... busted!
Master Shake: Let's go! Frylock: What're you doin?! Master Shake: Yo, DP. This GDI wants to know what I'm doin'. What should I tell him? That we're gonna kick his ass?!
frataliens12.mp3 Frylock: Okay... then what's your real name? DP: Bros call me DP, short for donkey-puncher, get it? Frylock: Yeah.. I do. DP: Sometimes I'm donkey puncherelo, or D-to-the-P, or Big DP, or uh.. King Donko of Punchstania. Master Shake: Dude, the player. Dude party! Party Dude!!! PD!!! Frylock: No, I need your real name. What your mother calls you. DP: Ah... You know what, just try DP. Master Shake: Dude pal! That's what you should be... cause you're my dude...pal! DP: Dude, your buddy here is givin' me a rash. Frylock: He usually doesn't drink this much. Master Shake: I out-party you! Frylock: Shake, will you sit down?! Master Shake: PD, I know how to throw....down! Dude, and I almost said throw up.. but I didn't.. I hold my booze! My booze!!! Frylock: Yeah, this is beer number 2 for him, right? Master Shake: But I hold boobs all day, too! Frylock: All right!
frataliens13.mp3 Master Shake: That's so gross, and I am so gettin' one of those. I wanna be a part of you. I wish we could sew ourselves together. DP: Dude, dude, dude. Get off my shirt, it's worth more than your ass wipe. My Dad owns a dealership!
frataliens14.mp3 DP: You see like a.. little naked dude out in the street anywhere? Frylock: Yeah.. I think he's dead. DP: Are you serious? Well, when he wakes up, make him drink.
frataliens15.mp3 Meatwad: What was that noise?! Ahem.. like a give a bull crap. I'm a man, boy. I'm macho. I ain't no bi-curious. If I was that, how come my muscles be all big, and wearin' this spandex? Master Shake: Right, you're full-blown gay!
frataliens17.mp3 Oglethorpe: ...and that's why I said you could not buy the roller skates.. What happened to the window? Ahhh!
