Aqua Teen Adventures - Premiere Online Source for Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Episode 36 - The Cubing

Click on the filename above the transcription to download the clip. Enjoy!

thecubing8.mp3

Dr. Weird: So, Gentleman! You, uh.. you try that footlotion I gave ya? The one with the gorilla on the bottle? You know, the one--
Steve: Does it look like I tried it?
Dr. Weird: You did!!

Cube: Hello? I'm here. Anyone home? Hi! Hey, is anyone in there?
Frylock: I'm coming!
Cube: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey, I'm here!
Frylock: what the hell are you?
Cube: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! I am the wisdom cube. This one time, 3 years ago, I broke my arm. I was informed improperly that my keys were in a throttling wood-chipper. Alas, they were not. I shall never wear a cast again. The itching drove me to the brink of insanity. From now on, all my locks shall be keyless.
Master Shake: Who ya talkin' to? Who is this--move over, let me see. Let me see him!
Cube: I was telling your friend here how I broke my arm in a skiing accident. I busted this tree in half.
Frylock: But you just said.
Cube: I know what the truth is. I ski sometimes in Vail. I'm allowed to. Okay? We have a house there. I hardly even use it, but I'm there sometimes.
Frylock: Well, why--
Cube: And no keys! F that, I said.
Frylock: In that case, why--
Cube: You do not ask me those types of questions, all right? I have all the wisdom in the universe, and I'm not gonna sit here for eternity answering your dumb, tiny-minded questions.
Frylock: Well--
Cube: So, deal with that.
Frylock: Well, then, what's the--
Cube: Did I not say "the wisdom cube"?
Master Shake: He said it! I was here!
Cube: Maybe I'll wear a sticker around my chest since you're so hung up on labels.

thecubing1.mp3

Meatwad: Hey ya'll, what's this old boy doing here?
Frylock: Don't ask!
Cube: No, ask. Please.
Meatwad: All right. What ya doin'?
Cube: I told you not to ask! I'm here for some practical joke--ahem--job interviews. Pass me your phone, I need to make some long distance calls.

thecubing2.mp3

Cube: Is this Chad Webster? It is? (fart noise) Hah hah hah!
Master Shake: Classic! That never gets old for me.

Cube: Do You have any other phone books? I'm out of Websters.
Master Shake: What--that's it? You're not even gonna touch the Washingtons?
Cube: I know! I saw them, too. Which page?
Master Shake: One page back. Right here.
Cube: That's right, yeah. You found it. I'll note that. Hello? Is this A. Washington? It is? (fart noise) Hahahah!
Master Shake: Yeah!
Cube: Washington!
Master Shake: You totally busted him! Ha ha ha! Let me try one!
Cube: Nah, I don't want to do it anymore. Get me a pallet of toilet paper. I've got a wise idea. Come out, fat man! Come out and witness your demise!
Master Shake: Oh, yeah, well, he came out already. He had to go get one of them, uh, what do you call it when you--we have to stay 100 feet away from him--
Cube: It's called a free beer next door. Come on!
Master Shake: All right!
Cube: Woo-hoo! Hey! I said, 'Come on!'
Master Shake: Yeah, I came. Where are you? What are you doing?
Cube: Oh, what? You're scared now? what's up, wuss? Say, 'mother may I', then spell 'cup'.

thecubing3.mp3

Frylock: It says here that this wisdom cube is the wisest being in the universe and he travels the galaxies feeding off knowledge!
Meatwad: He be feeding off them microwave burritos, too.
Frylock: Those are gone?!
Meatwad: There were six this morning; there ain't none now. He's gassy, boy. Don't say nothing about him fartin'!
Frylock: Oh, he's just doing that with his mouth Meatwad. Sometimes the most brilliant people are the most eccentric.
Meatwad: Really? That's a dead-on impression of a butt.

Frylock: Take me for instance. I mean, I'm brilliant. And haven't you ever noticed how I like to wear this around occasionally and pretend like I've been bad?
Meatwad: No. But I have now.
Frylock: I mean, you've seen my like this, right?
Meatwad: Yes! I have, I told you I did. I just--didn't know I was supposed to. Hey, let's change the subject! Guess what else that cube thinks is funny. Look at that--He done TP'ed Carl's house!
Frylock: Uh-oh. I better go talk to him.
Meatwad: Oh, oh yeah, you might just sorta, take that thing off, there.
Frylock: Tell me I've been bad.
Meatwad: Yes, um, you've been acting up lately.
Frylock: Aw, I'm sorry.

Cube: --And When he comes out here, hit him with the egg.
Frylock: Say--
Master Shake: Got ya! Run! Run! Run!
Cube: Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Do it! Fight! Come on! Fight! Don't worry, I know where he lives.
Frylock: Yeah, okay. So, anyway, you contain all wisdom and knowledge throughout the galaxy?
Cube: Yeah huh.
Frylock: Okay, well, I've been struggling with this paradox, you know?
Cube: Yeah huh.
Frylock: If there is a God, then why is there so much suffering in the world?
Cube: Yeah huh.
Frylock: Or did he just create us in his image out of egotism or...what's the point?
Cube: Yeah huh.
Frylock: Yeah huh?
Cube: Yeah huh.
Frylock: Yeah huh? That's all you got to say?
Cube: Yeah huh.
Frylock: Yeah huh?!
Cube: Hey! Take a picture! it'll last longer!
Frylock: What kind of response is that?
Cube: Why don't you sit down over there and let me tell you a story. This one time, I ate boiled peanuts. I mean, like a whole lot of them, right? And I'd like to got sick. You know what I mean?
Frylock: I--I think I understand. I mean, I'm not sure I'm getting the total grasp of what you're saying. I mean--If you--what are you saying?
Cube: Keep honking. I'm reloading my gun.
Frylock: That's not really the response I expected, you know?
Cube: Hey! I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
Frylock: Well, anyway, uh--
Cube: Horn broken - Watch for finger.
Frylock: Well, look at the time.
Cube: Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder, that's what I've heard.
Frylock: Okay, okay. Don't want to cut you off.
Cube: No! No, don't go! No, wait! Work is for people who don't know how to fish!
Frylock: Look, there's Carl! Hey, Carl! Hey! Hey! Hold up, man!
Carl: No, no, no, don't come over here.
Frylock: Don't move anywhere! Stay right there!
Cube: Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
Frylock: Hey, man look, I'm sorry, I'd love to stay here with you, but I gotta go ever there with Carl...and spank him.
Cube: Shut up and fish!

thecubing4.mp3

Carl: No, no. I got nothin' to say to you.
Cube: Shut up and fish!
Frylock: Nothing personal.
Carl: Oh, thank you.
Cube: Hey, nice yard! It's niiice! You like that?
Frylock: How's that restraining order coming?
Carl: For your information, it's still tied up in the courts cause I don't have photographs of things like this thing you're doing here with my butt. What're you doing? Stop doing it.
Cube: Hey nice yard! Check it out! It's completely rolled!
Carl: Wait no--No wait, keep doin' it. Let me go get my camera!

Frylock: No, don't leave me, Carl. Otherwise, I gotta go talk to him.
Cube: Hey! observe your yard, fatty!
Frylock: Or you could go talk to him.
Cube: It's nice, yeah!
Carl: No way.
Cube: Yeah, you like your yard?
Frylock: Yeah, you guys probably have a lot in common.
Cube: It's rolled!
Carl: Uh-uh. Look, he ain't my kind.
Frylock: Guess what, Carl!
Cube: You like that?
Frylock: He hates foreigners, too.
Cube: Hey, nice yard. You take a look at it? It's completely rolled. It's nice!
Carl: What's he talking about?
Frylock: I don't know.
Cube: Hey, you like what I did to your yard?
Frylock: Why don't you go find out. I need to go back inside.
Cube: I rolled it, fat man. Your yard! Check it out.

thecubing5.mp3

Master Shake: Sup?
Cube: Chicken butt! Ha-Ha! Have you ever heard that before?
Master Shake: Yeah, I heard it a lot...in the second grade.
Cube: It's a good-n.
Master Shake: Could you define 'good-n' please?
Cube: Get me the business pages! I wanna give someone the business!
Master Shake: Uhh. I'll be inside. Away from you.

Master Shake: I gotta tell ya, a little of that guy goes a long way.
Frylock: You know, that's just so weird. I--I just can't believe that he's the all-knowing being of the universe.
Master Shake: Yeah, all being?

thecubing10.mp3

Master Shake: He's doing the 10-pound ball joke all wrong.
Cube: Is this the golf course? It is? Do you have 10-pound balls? No? Then how do you walk? Haha! How do you walk with a-- Regular? Well.. pbbtthhh
Master Shake: I mean, that doesn't make sense any way you hear it.

Frylock: Well, not to mention that I unplugged the phone 3 hours ago.
Master Shake: He's just puttin' on a show. Yeah, hi, Yeah, we're watching you.
Frylock: Maybe that's it, Shake. maybe it's post-modern.
Master Shake: Yeah, clearly from the village. Hey, you! come here! You got a couple hours? Go ask him about the funny time he ate all the boiled peanuts.
Meatwad: Is it funny?
Master Shake: I thought I'd laugh till I died.
Meatwad: All right.
Frylock: No, Meatwad, don't!
Master Shake: What, are you kidding me? You can't walk by him without getting locked into some conversation about what color he would paint his bedroom, or that old chestnut, "How I broke my arm"! Ooh! Let's go hear that one again!
Meatwad: I got nothing else going on.
Cube: Hi, this one time--
Frylock: No! Now, we're just gonna walk past him, don't even make eye contact, and go right to the pool.
Cube: Excuse me, sir, sir? excuse me, sir? Sir?! come on guys, come on, sir. Hey, sir, sir. come here.
Meatwad: Is he talking to us?
Frylock: Meatwad, don't.
Meatwad: Yes?
Frylock: Meatwad!
Master Shake: Leave him, he's dead to us!
Cube: This one time, I was watching this funny TV show. It was--can't really remember it, but it was really funny. Then I had an idea for a dream vacation. I mean, I had the spread, okay? The beach, the hotel, then I wrote all this--all of this down. Wrote it all down, really wrote it, like 5 pages--f***in' lost it.
Meatwad: You lost it?
Cube: You want a dream vacation? Forget it.
Meatwad: This one old boy, he gave me a job mopping up late night at this children's apparel store. Heheh, shoot. He said I made worser mess than it was! That's discrimination!
Cube: Oh yeah, I know what you mean, because this one time, I ate boiled peanuts.

thecubing6.mp3

Meatwad: Yeah.. Yeah, this one time. I rent me a pressure washer. Start this business: Meatwad Pressure Washin'. But then I's told, "You got to have a license." I says, "License?! Hell, I ain't even supposed to be in this country." Then they got all mad.

Frylock: I mean, Meatwad's smart enough to know how to get out of that gracefully, right?
Master Shake: No, he's not.
Frylock: Yeah, I know.
Master Shake: For the love of all that's holy, there's another one, go under! How's the drain? Is that--see what I'm talking about down there?
Wisdom Cube: Hey.
Master Shake: Oh, hi, fella.
Wisdom Cube: Hey, y'all seen my cousin around here? Tellin' this really long story about how he hurt his foot because he didn't wear shoes when he went to the bank?
Master Shake: Really? at the bank?
Wisdom Cube: This one time, he went to the bank--
Frylock: No, no, no, no! He's right out front!

Wisdom Cube: Oh hey, how's it going "Wisdom Cube"?!
Cube: Oh, hey..

thecubing9.mp3

Wisdom Cube: I'm sorry, we didn't mean it-- I'm the real Wisdom Cube. This is my cousin, the dumbass ahedratron.
Cube: Say it, don't spray it.

Wisdom Cube: We usually try to strap him down.
Cube: Down clown town frown!
Wisdom Cube: Shut up!
Cube: Down clown town frown!
Wisdom Cube: Shut up!
Frylock: Oh! So, you're the real wisdom cube!
Wisdom Cube: Yeah huh.
Frylock: The source of all knowledge and wisdom?
Wisdom Cube: Yup.
Frylock: You're him? The one?
Wisdom Cube: Yeah huh.
Frylock: So, so, Let me ask you. What's at the end? When we're dead, do we go to heaven, do we go to hell? or do we just rot in the ground?
Wisdom Cube: Some things should not be known by mortals. But I will leave you this flaming bag. Whenever you need an answer for something, when you feel you are truly ready, put out this flame.
Frylock: This flaming bag contains the answer?
Cube: Yeah, hunker down, you hairy dog!
Meatwad: Yup, hunker down, boy! That's what it says right here on this bumper sticker.
Frylock: Bumper sticker? let me see that!
Wisdom Cube: And now, we must leave you.
Cube: See ya! wouldn't wanna be ya!

thecubing7.mp3

Master Shake: Put it out, get the answer.
Frylock: I just don't know if I'm ready for the final answer.
Meatwad: But you could be.
Master Shake: I'm ready for you know.
Wisdom Cube: Do it with your hands while we're watching.
Cube: Come on, put it out.
Wisdom Cube: That'd be awesome.
Frylock: (Puts out flaming bag of dog poop) Awww, man!
Cube: Woo-hoo!
Wisdom Cube: Jack-ass!
Master Shake: The oldest friggin' gag in the book!!
Wisdom Cube: Hey man..you know if you want the final-final answer...um...you should put it in your mouth.
Master Shake: I think you're ready.
Frylock: You sonofa-- Come back here!

Cube: Round down from the clown frown! Hey fairy, blow it up!