Aqua Teen Adventures - Premiere Online Source for Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Episode 31 - Revenge of the Trees

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revengeofthetrees14.mp3

Steve: (Doing Dr. Weird) Gentleman, fill me with barbeque sauce because I'm dumb as hell.
Javier: (Spanish)
Steve: Yeah, I know Javier. (Dr. Weird's head appears and eats Steve's head)

Frylock: Hey, Carl. Welcome to the barbecue.
Meatwad: Okay, Carl, look into the camera, state your name, and what you like best about me.

revengeofthetrees1.mp3

Carl: Hey! Zoom in on this: Happy Labor Day!

Carl: Heh heh heh.
Meatwad: That was our one balloon.
Carl: What do you got in there? I need it in this cooler. My show's about to start.

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Frylock: You don't wanna hang out, Carl? Look at what I got here on the grill.
Carl: Oh, what the hell is that?
Frylock: They're t-bones, Carl. Huh? Yeah! The T stands for tofu! Look at that cut of bean.
Carl: Okay, have a crappy weekend! Hope your house burns down!

Master Shake: Hey, Carl, wait a minute. Hang on, don't go. Look. I got the real meat right here.
Carl: All Right! that's what I'm talking about there.
Frylock: Where'd you get that?
Master Shake: At a farm.

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Frylock: Shake! It would take all day to smoke somethin' that big!
Master Shake: Smoke it? What're you smokin', cause I ain't slow cookin' jack! We're flash-fryin' this mother!

Meatwad: Yeah!
Master Shake: Carl, stand back. Whoa!

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Meatwad: Oh is that batter? That's batter!

Master Shake: Carl, take it up.
Carl: With pleasure.

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Master Shake: Whoa, whoa, you take it up too high how am I gonna inject the cheese?
Frylock: The cheese?
Carl: Ohh yeah!! What is that, cheddar or pepperjack?
Master Shake: Both!
Carl: You are the man!!
Master Shake: There's pork in there too. See, I rolled it in ranch dressing and then I force fed it to her. How do you think she died? Natural causes?
Carl: All right! This is going to be so good!
Frylock: Yyuch..

Frylock: Well, you all go on ahead and have your little heart attack. Meatwad and I are gonna have us a healthy labor day, ain't that right, Meatwad?
Meatwad: Yeah, I'll do that when I'm dead. Inject me with some cheese.
Master Shake: Submerge! It's gonna take a minute, Carl. We just gotta hope that the bowels don't release after hitting the hot oil.

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Meatwad: While we're waitin' does anybody wanna throw the frisbee?
Carl: Yeah, yeah go long.
Meatwad: All right, I'm goin' long, now!
Carl: Little further, little further.
Meatwad: How far? Over here?
Carl: Little further. Okay, whoa.
Meatwad: All right, this is in the street now.
Carl: Here we go! (Throws frisbee on the roof) Oh, shoot. Almost.
Meatwad: Aww, Carl. I'll get the ladder.

Master Shake: She's ready. Quick, lap the oil off before the udder-- Uh, great.
Carl: Hey, no harm, no foul. Plenty of cow left.
Frylock: So, uh, what are you gonna do with all that oil?
Master Shake: Well, I guess, uh-- gee, what will we do with a vat of hot oil? I'm gonna tip it over.
Frylock: Whoa! whoa! whoa! whoa! We're not doing that.
Master Shake: Look, relax. I am respectful of my earth mother. Now, let's tip.
Frylock: You're not doing that, Shake. Look, that oil needs to be disposed of properly.
Master Shake: You know, the river is over two miles from here.
Frylock: The river is not where it goes. They have special places that will take this, and one of them's right down the street.
Master Shake: Thank you, Stephanie. Why don't you go do your nails? The men are eating.

Frylock: Shake, I've given you a week. I've been calm, I've been nice, I've been cool about this, but I want that fryer out of there today!
Master Shake: Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Well, I'll do it, but wait till RampItUp46 hears about this.
Frylock: Who's that?
Master Shake: Hello? The chat room? I have a life.

revengeofthetrees5.mp3

Carl: Hey, can I help you?
Master Shake: Yeah, you can help me pull this into your yard. Frylock don't want it in ours any more.
Carl: Yeah, no, we're not doing that.
Master Shake: (Laughs) How quickly we forget. You see that large, bulbous gut you got? Imagine it on the inside. It's filled with flash-fried cow and cheese.
Carl: All right, all right, all right. I will help you and we will take it to a.. ya know.. a proper recycling facility.

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Carl: Okay. You got that end?
Master Shake: Yeah.
Carl: Tip it over, and run like hell. So frickin' illegal! Hey, hey where are you?!
Master Shake: (running away) HE DID IT!
Carl: Okay, fine yeah. Run. Hey, who's gonna arrest me, huh? The frickin' trees?

Carl: Ha ha ha! yeah! Oh, God.

revengeofthetrees16.mp3

Master Shake: Wow.. Somebody should really get that. Hmm.. Somebody... Yeah.. Ohh.. Yeah, I'll get it-- Oh, you got it, okay.
Meatwad: It's for you..

Master Shake: What is this?
Frylock: It's a summons, Shake.
Master Shake: I know. I'm not dumb. Can you read it to me, please?
Frylock: I guess you did dump that oil after all, didn't you?
Master Shake: Yes, I took care of it like you told me to.
Frylock: In the woods!
Master Shake: Hey, come on, now. You don't know that.
Frylock: Oh, yeah, I do, because this is a ticket for it-- from the woods!
Master Shake: From the woods?
Frylock: Yeah. from the woods? What the hell--
Meatwad: Hey!

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Meatwad: Have we always had this tree out there?.
Master Shake: Yes..
Meatwad: I need to be more observant. My wife's always on my back about it.
Master Shake: Who is talking to you? Will you let us talk? Now get the gasoline, it's blockin' the yard!

Frylock: Well, looks like you got another summons, Shake, and this time it's for setting that big tree on fire.
Master Shake: Just incredible, isn't it? I have yet to see a welfare check, but this is my second summons in two days. Your tax dollars at work, Frylock.
Frylock: Oh, and it also says here that you didn't appear at your court date yesterday-- in the woods.
Master Shake: Come on. they got nothing on me. What are they gonna do, march down here and get me or something?
Meatwad: Uh, yes.
Master Shake: Hey, why is it getting so dark out?
Frylock: Oh, my God.
Meatwad: Okay, me and my wife need to get out of here.
Master Shake: Aah! Ooh! No-o-o! I'm too young! Frylock!

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Meatwad: Have you seen my wife?!

Frylock: Shake, are you in there?
Master Shake: What are they gonna do to me?
Frylock: I wish I could tell you, Shake, but I don't know.
Meatwad: I don't care. It's gonna be fun to see.
Master Shake: I can't go to the big house. I'm not feeling too pretty. They'll tear me up on the inside.
Tree: Um, hey, is the defendant a juvenile?
Master Shake: Daddy! Daddy, you're back from your business trip. And you're sober!
Frylock: Shake!
Master Shake: Mommy moved to the city with Mommy's friend Jerry, and he tried to hit me, Daddy. Not like you do. in an extra mean way.
Tree: How old is the defendant?
Frylock: He's, uh, 21.
Tree: 21?
Master Shake: 18.
Frylock: How about 18?
Tree: 18?
Master Shake: No, wait. 16.
Tree: Um, I think he's 16, okay?
Tree: We shall find his age. Cut him in half. Count his rings.
Master Shake: Okay! I'm an adult, okay? It's fine.
Tree: Can I get you to sign this sheet?
Master Shake: Sign it? The sheet's already full--of hair.
Tree: All right. I'll get another one.
Carl: Oh, you're not gonna do this. Don't! Don't! Oh, God! That hurts so bad.
Tree: Here. sign this sheet.
Master Shake: Anywhere or--
Tree: Not on the hair.
Carl: Look at me! They've been using me as a post-it note!
Master Shake: Frylock, you got to get me out of here.
Carl: Get us both out of here! Come on!
Tree: Wood court is now in session. If you do not have a lawyer, this shrub will be appointed for you.
Tree: Guilty! Guilty! My clients plead guilty!
Master Shake: Shut up! He's my lawyer. Frylock, help. You--you gotta help me.
Frylock: All right, all right, all right, I want you to tell me the truth, though.

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Frylock: Did you do this?
Master Shake: Frylock, come on, ya know me. How long we known each other?
Frylock: You did it.
Master Shake: Of course, but listen. The point is that they don't know that. They can't prove it! They're friggin' trees!

Tree: Please note exhibit A on the wooden video. You will clearly see the accused dumping the oil.
Tree: Oh!
Tree: Look at that!
Master Shake: Listen, Frylock, I'm telling you, that's not me in that video-- 'cause that's nothing! There's nothing up there! What the hell is-- this is bark!
Tree: Silence! Exhibit B - Advance the wooden video to the accused setting fire to big Ralph.
Tree: Guilty as sin!
Tree: Guilty!
Master Shake: His name was Ralph?
Frylock: Shut up, shake. If it would please the court, my client would like to--
Tree: He's guilty!
Frylock: To--oh, man. what is that called?
Tree: You're guilty.
Tree: He's guilty.
Tree: Just say you're guilty.
Frylock: No. no, not that. Not that. Uh, what do you-- something else.
Tree: Oh, it's, uh, go to tree jail?
Tree: Tree jail.
Tree: Tree jail for you.

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Frylock: No, not that. Look, what do you call it when he.. when he wants to get out of this?
Tree: Oh, that's the sweet release of death.

Tree: Yeah, evisceration by a thousand branches of a mighty oak.
Tree: Guilty.
Tree: Guilty.
Carl: Can I have one-- wait, how--can we do, like, a conference or something? I think we need to hire another lawyer here.
Master Shake: Typical. filthy humans. You have no respect for us trees.
Tree: He ripped my arms off.
Master Shake: Shut up. I didn't rip them.
Frylock: Shake, you're making it worse.
Master Shake: Go back to your strip malls, Where values are king.
Frylock: Look, ok, how do I just say, like, they did it, but they're sorry?
Tree: Um, hang on.
Tree: Have you heard that before?
Tree: I don't know.
Tree: I've been on the bench for 100 years. I'm not gonna look stupid here, Ray.
Tree: I know. We know you've been there 100 years. We all know that.
Tree: Well, look it up.
Tree: Um, like, no. you look it up. You go get the book. I'm tired of getting the book. Books--always, I always have to get it.

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Tree: We don't know. We're trees.

Tree: Uh, w-wait, hold-- did he say that, like, he did it?
Tree: You did say that they're--they did it? They're sorry, but they did it?
Frylock: Ye--no.
Tree: You said they did it.
Frylock: Not exactly.
Tree: Court stenographer, please read the minutes back to me.
Tree: Oh, I'm-- so I'm now the stenographer. When did that happen? All right, hold on. I'll play it like I am. Hold on. Come here.

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Carl: Ya don't need to tear it off to read it. (screams)
Tree: Oh.. uh, I think it's on the front. Hang on.
Carl: Check check check it again before you.. (screams)
Tree: Ohh, wait. It was on the back.
Carl: No, don't do that. (screams)
Tree: Oh, here we are. I didn't write anything down.. I just drew some stuff. (giggles)

Frylock: Look, okay? Okay, I found the book, okay? And it says right here on page 53--
Tree: Paper! made from trees!
Frylock: Uh-oh.
Tree: Seize him!
Master Shake: Seize him!
Frylock: Come on, let's go!
Master Shake: Mighty green of you there, Matlock. Nice of you to wait until now to do that.
Frylock: You know, you're lucky trees are so stupid.
Carl: I'm losing lots of blood here. Look at this. I'm making a pond.

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Frylock: You're both guilty as hell. You know that, don't you?
Master Shake: Frylock! That was never proven in the wood court.

Master Shake: We are gonna find the real person who did this. And, uh, I am on a quest to find the person that did-- Hey! Hey! Hey, yo! Yo, Hey! Whoa! what are you, eyeballin' this? I said I want it level. I don't want a ramp. Get working, turkey. come on. And level. Level!
Meatwad: Who's paying for all this?
Master Shake: Get in the closet. hit the lights.