Steve: Sheesh. You call this a vacation? Dr Weird: No. I call it Taco Island!
universalremonster2.mp3 Master Shake: Who's laughin' now, bitch? Piece of crap cable! Frylock: What are you doing?! Master Shake: Maintenance, shut up. Meatwad: No, no, no. Don't shake it up, let the snow settle. That way you can see the little San Francisco in there. Master Shake: Oh, come here. Let's see if we can see it together! Meatwad: Okay. Master Shake: Hah! It's not a snow globe you ignoramus! Frylock: How many TVs have you broken this year? Master Shake: A lot more than you have! I'm teaching this object a lesson. If it doesn't want to get hit anymore, it'll straighten up and fly right!
universalremonster3.mp3 Oglethorpe: We have successfully traveled eons across both space and time through the fargate to get free cable! Emory: I think it's a Stargate. Oglethorpe: It's the Fargate. F. It's different from that movie that I have never seen.. so how would I copy it? Emory: Chill, man. Let's just turn it on. Oglethorpe: I just want to make sure that it's the fargate. Goes far, get it? And there's just no way it came from the movie or that syndicated series based on the movie. Emory: But it sure was a good movie. Oglethorpe: Ya, yes it was.
universalremonster4.mp3 Oglethorp: This what you call a Remonster? Where are his claws and his fangs? He must have giant feet and thirst for blood, and now you've ruined my vision! Emory: Yeah, what if we just um.. What if we could just call him the Universal Remobot? I mean, he is a robot. Oglethorpe: But Remonster is his name, it's branding! Emory: This whole monster thing kinda feels a little tacked on, actually. Oglethorpe: I mean, the t-shirts say Universal Remonster, not Universal Piece of Crap like you say. Emory: Oh, wow. You made t-shirts. That's cool.
universalremonster5.mp3 Emory: Wow, is that a Powerpuff girl or something? Oglethorpe: No, can you not see she has a mohawk and wheelchair. We are not getting sued!
universalremonster6.mp3 TV: Lean to your left. Meatwad: Okay. TV: Lean to your right. Meatwad: Right. TV: Lean to your left. Meatwad: Over here? TV: Uh uh. That's your right. Meatwad: Oh, Dammit. Okay. TV: Lean to your right. Meatwad: What about here? TV: Hey, you got it right! Meatwad: All right, good. Frylock: Okay Meatwad. That's good. Meatwad: I'll never get tired of hearing that. Frylock: Now what's this over here? Meatwad: That's a chair. Frylock: No, I mean is it left or is it right? Meatwad: Well it's a chair. And it's right over there. Frylock: Think back to your song. The song, remember? Meatwad: What song?
universalremonster7.mp3 Master Shake: You're gonna go back to 37, right? Cause they got the all-day blood buffet goin' on. Frylock: I don't think Meatwad needs to be watching this. Master Shake: What are you kidding? Babies aren't scared of this. Bring me a baby. I'll prove it. Oglethorpe: Emory... Are you there Emory? Emory: I'm right here. Oglethorpe: Oh, NINE! Don't sneak up on me like that, I thought you were a monster on the TV!
universalremonster8.mp3 Frylock: Did you hear those chains rattling? Master Shake: Oh did that frighten you? Ohh, check this out. (Uses Universal Remonster to throw spinning chains at Meatwad) Meatwad: Oh, no, the chains! From my dreams!
universalremonster13.mp3 Oglethorpe: (Hits Emory with Lamp) Emory: Ow, damn! You hit me in the chin! Oglethorpe: Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were a ghoul. Emory: Well I'm not. Oglethorpe: Well, it was your own damn fault for making noises like a ghoul. Emory: Dude, I was flushing the toilet. Oglethorpe: Ghouls do that...when they're making brownies. Emory: Well I'm-- Oglethorpe: Ssshh!!
universalremonster9.mp3 Meatwad: Hey, did y'all see a ghost pass through here cause..I'm really hopin' like hell that he's gone. Master Shake: He probably went to the store to get some more food for his demons. Meatwad: Oh, are you serious? Master Shake: You do know where the demon food store is, right? Meatwad: What're you talkin' about? Master Shake: It's right behind you! Meatwad: Oh no! Master Shake: You're in it! Meatwad: I'm in the store?! Master Shake: You're in the demon food produce aisle!
universalremonster15.mp3 Oglethorpe: Listen... it's coming from inside the house. Frylock: Yeah, it is. Oglethorpe: Did you hear that?! Someone just said "yeah it is". A demon! Get down! A demon! Frylock: Do either one of you know the penalty for stealing cable? Oglethorpe: Cobble?! Pfftth. We have technology beyond our comprehension. (pulls out broken lamp) Behold! The light stick!
universalremonster10.mp3 Oglethorpe: Impossible! The Remonster can only be killed by stabbing him in the heart with the ancient bone saber of Zumakalis. Emory: Or probably his head and lungs, too. Just stab him wherever, really. Oglethorpe: And the saber probably doesn't have to be bone. Emory: Yeah, really. Just anything sharp just lyin' around the house. Oglethorpe: You could poke him with a pillow and kill him.
universalremonster11.mp3 Frlyock: You guys are high! Oglethorpe: Noo.. Dude. Emory: Why man. Are you cool? Oglethorpe: Yes, are you cool? Frylock: I'm outta here. Oglethorpe: Wait, do you have any snack cakes or corn flavored chips? I'm frickin' starvin' here! Emory: Yeah, see if he's got some mini-pizzas! Oglethorpe: Yes, mini-pizzas. That would taste good to my palate.
Frylock: Ya know, I think I finally found a good use for the TV. Master Shake: You put that right back upstairs! Frylock: No. Master Shake: Well then, you are gonna help me pull down my chair down here so I can watch it, here. Frylock: No I won't. Master Shake: Uh. Well. I will pee all over my pants. And then who's gonna end up lookin' bad? Huh? Frylock: You just stay down here with your TV and (bleep) it.
universalremonster12.mp3 Frylock: Yep, I thought it was about time we invested in a high-definition plasma screen. Meatwad: I thought you said TV was bad. Frylock: It is.. but we f***in' need it.
