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Episode 28 - Super Trivia

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supertrivia16.mp3

Dr. Weird: (Dr Weird speaking through his ass) Gentleman, allow me to introduce myself. I am Dr. Buttocks! Gentleman... where are you?!

Ned Hastings: Okay, the final category is science. Which alkaline earth metal has the chemical symbol 'BE'? --the chemical symbol BE?
Frylock: Cool. this one's easy.
Meatwad: No kidding. Put down Backstreet Boys.
Master Shake: Shut up! Will you be quiet?!
Meatwad: Put down Backstreet Boys--you're not writing it!
Master Shake: Shut up! You're giving it away!
Frylock: Shake, sit down! It's not the Backstreet Boys.
Master Shake: I know, and don't you dare put that down. BE? Come on, it's Benmark.
Meatwad: Oh, no, it ain't.
Master Shake: Yeah.

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Frylock: Benmark?
Shake: It's a sublevel country underneath Denmark. Think you would've heard of it.

Master Shake: Is that what you're writing?
Frylock: No, I'm putting down beryllium, because that's the answer.
Master Shake: Yeah, that's--that's the other one.

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Meatwad: Hey, hey Frylock. Gimme a pitcher of beer.
Frylock: I will not, you're not old enough to drink.
Meatwad: Pff. You don't know everything. If you did we wouldn't be losin' right now!
Frylock: We wouldn't be losing right now if you didn't put down Backstreet Boys on half our answers!
Meatwad: Look, my gut tells me backstreet, and that is where my brain is--with my guts.

Meatwad: They's roommates, but sometimes they don't get along too well, you know? They's always arguing about the bills--the stomach bills.
Frylock: Okay, shut up. that's enough. here we go.
Ned Hastings: And the answer is, as Wayne got it, beryllium.
Frylock: Yes! I knew it. I totally nailed that one.
Master Shake: Oh! Then why didn't you say that?
Frylock: What are you talking about? I wrote that down.
Master Shake: Well, I changed it to the Backstreet Boys.
Frylock: What?
Master Shake: I mean, you heard the confidence in his voice. He sounded like he'd been there!
Frylock: Been where, Shake?
Master Shake: Okay, I changed it to Benmark.
Frylock: What?
Meatwad: You're a fool!
Master Shake: But look it is a country. I'll find a map. (Anybody got a map?!)
Ned Hastings: Our scores at the end of this round: In second place, with 25 points, the Backstreet Boyz.
Meatwad: They're here? Where are they?
Frylock: That's what you named us.
Meatwad: Oh.
Ned Hastings: And in first place yet again, with another perfect score of 60 points, Wayne "the Brain" McLaine.
Wayne: Yes. Yes. Oh, God, yes!

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Frylock: God I hate that Wayne.
Master Shake: No way you're ever getting sex with a thing like that on your head.
Wayne: Sup!
Master Shake: Not like us, right pal?

Ned Hastings: And our final question of the game is in the sports category. Wayne is the master of sports.
Frylock: Aw, hell. I suck at sports.
Ned Hastings: But Wayne doesn't. For two points each-- like it matters-- name the last 5 NCAA basketball champions.
Meatwad: Don't sweat it. We got this covered. I read the Backstreet bio. AJ likes ice skating, and Howie likes to frisbee.
Master Shake: What about basketball jones?
Meatwad: It ain't basketball jones.
Master Shake: I heard it on the radio, it's funny, and it's the answer.
Frylock: You put it down. I'm getting out of here.
Master Shake: No, you're not, because he does not know how to write, and I completely refuse to.

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Meatwad: Just calm down Frylock, it's over. We lost again. Let it go and accept the truth that we is dumb; dumb as hell.

Master Shake: He's right, for the most part. We got us a superstar, and we got two albacores that are just hanging around my neck.
Frylock: Albatrosses.
Master Shake: Yeah, it's like the rhyme of the marinade happening all over again.
Frylock: I am getting real tired of Wayne walking away with 50 bar dollars every Tuesday night.
Master Shake: I got it. We'll go kill Wayne.
Frylock: No, we're doing this legal. Follow me.

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Master Shake: Where are the chicks, and why are you clipping my eyes open?
Frylock: Look, just watch the screen okay?
Master Shake: All right! Porno! Hey, I can deal!

Frylock: Actually, no, it's all the world's knowledge compressed into one humongous DVD.
Master Shake: Does it show girls in the nude?
Frylock: Well, it shows a woman without skin, but that's really more about her organs.
Master Shake: But the sex organs ones, right? The good ones?
Frylock: See you Tuesday.
Meatwad: He left.
Master Shake: Oh, yeah, I saw, 'cause I can't close my eyes to not see!

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Frylock: All right, how're we doin'?
Meatwad: Fine.
Master Shake: No, we're not doing that. My eyes are thirsty as hell, here. Who do you think you are?
Frylock: I'm the only US President to serve 2 non-consecutive terms in the oval office.
Master Shake: Then that would make you Grover Cleveland and I don't-- Why is this coming out of my mouth?!
Frylock: Meatwad, how many non-consecutive terms did Grover Cleveland serve?
Meatwad: I'm fine. Everything's fine like wine.
Frylock: Why don't we just unhook you.

Master Shake: Wait a minute! He's not going anywhere that I haven't been.
Meatwad: I'll go anywhere I want, boy. Ow.
Master Shake: Come on, dammit. I got this thing embedded in my ass.
Frylock: Oh, shoot. I'm sorry about that.
Master Shake: What is it? Looks like a Ethiopian toilet seat.
Frylock: It's just a basketball hoop.
Master Shake: What is this basketball you speak of?
Frylock: Aw, hell, I forgot to put sports on the DVD.
Master Shake: Oh. and what is this sports you speak of?

Frylock: Carl, my man, what's up?
Carl: I don't have any food, so get lost.
Frylock: Carl, dinner is on us tonight, 'cause you know what tonight is, don't you?
Carl: Oh, yeah.

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Carl: Tonight I'm downloading porn at 14 kilobits a second. Haha, I'm just kidding. I got a cable modem back here.

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Frylock: Yeah. Well we were hoping you'd wanna come to a party with us tonight.
Carl: Oh it looks like they're done partyin'. Now what they're doing is loitering. And that's very illegal.

Frylock: Look. here's the deal. We're playing team trivia tonight, and we need someone that knows sports.

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Carl: Hey, here's a trivia question. Why would I wanna do that?! Yeah the chicks! Where are they Fryman?
Frylock: They're in the back moistening their T-shirts for the jell-o wrestling.

Carl: Hey, now you're speaking my language here. I knew you wasn't gay.
Frylock: Is that why you're not sitting with the rest of the team, Carl?
Carl: What, are you kidding? No, I'm not doing that.

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Carl: There's a broad..there's a broad right there. Hey! Yeah, you dingbat! I want a pitcher of beer, fried jalapenos, the nachos grande, and let's start with 50 wings extra hot and keep the ranch coming.
Frylock: Two coffees please.
Carl: Heh.. you hear what I ordered? I'm gonna be fartin' blood over here.

Ned Hastings: Ladies and gentlemen, turn around and face your trivia doom. It's Wayne "the Brain" McLaine.
Frylock: You're going down tonight, Wayne. Carl, we need to name our team. Something tough.
Carl: I turned it in, Fryman. we're good.
Ned Hastings: And our other competing squad--

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Ned Hastings: The one-eyed wonder weasels and their two balls.
Carl: Two balls!
Ned Hastings: Very, very clever guys.. nice.
Carl: You get where I'm going with that, Fryman? You understand the uh.. thing? The joke, 'ere!

Frylock: Yeah, I do, Carl.

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Carl: TONIGHT!!

Master Shake: Oh. the Rosetta Stone.
Ned Hastings: And the answer is, the Rosetta Stone.
Frylock: Yeah, Fryman in the house, baby. I want to say Raw Deal, but it seems like it could be Commando.
Master Shake: Running Man.
Ned Hastings: One of Arnold's first big hits, it was the Running Man.
Frylock: Yes!
Ned Hastings: Remember Richard Dawson in that one--
Master Shake: 1060--
Frylock: 10-60 What?
Master Shake: Ooh! 6!
Ned Hastings: 1066.
Frylock: Booyacka, booyacka.
Master Shake: Joseph of Arimathea.
Ned Hastings: And the answer was Joseph of Arimathea. And the scores are still tied.
Frylock: Yes! High fry, Carl.
Frylock: How's that spelled?
Master Shake: Uh, l-e-s-b-i-a-n.
Frylock: L-e-s-b-- Shut up! You're spelling lesbian.
Master Shake: Hahaha! I got you.
Carl: He said 'lesbian'! Heheh.
Ned Hastings: And at the end of regulation, we have a barnburner. Tied for the lead, with a perfect score, Wayne the Brain and the one-eyed guys.
Carl: He didn't say it all--you got to say it all! Say the 'two-balls' part! You don't get it without that.
Ned Hastings: Final question. The category is hydromagnetic magnetoidal dimensions.
Frylock: Hydro-what?
Meatwad: What happened? Did we win?
Ned Hastings: For 10 points, when traveling at a subsonic speed, during the last one hour of hypersleep, which vector of the romulan nebula will suffer the wrath of the impenetrable quickening? And for extra points, how many rads to the nearest multon? Be specific. this is a real question.
Frylock: Aw, hell.
Meatwad: This is so easy.
Frylock: Carl?

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Carl: I said 50 more wings! What're you, dumb?!

Frylock: Shake! Shake, wake up.
Master Shake: Finally. (Mumbles)
Frylock: Dammit, he's fried.
Meatwad: Oh, that's okay, because I happen to know the answer.
Frylock: All right, fine. Go ahead, say it. say the Backstreet Boys.
Meatwad: I know! That's what I thought at first, too. But if you think back to the time you took me to the lake and taught me how to go fishing, you'd realize that has nothing to do with this. The answer is 'N Sync.
Frylock: Oh! Of course it is. Go on, turn it in.
Master Shake: They're good!
Meatwad: I know.
Carl: So, uh, when we doing the sports part here?
Frylock: We're not. We didn't. It's over. We lost. Did your ass get enough wings?
Carl: Uh, you tell me. Does this look like I got enough?
Meatwad: Hey, Carl, can I-- give me your celery.
Carl: No. I need it for fiber. I have problems.
Ned Hastings: Okay, we have a winner. For 50 bar dollars and once again the title of champion, Wayne "the Main Brain" McLaine.
Wayne: Yes! success!
Frylock: Oh, so now it's 'the main brain'? What, you think you're so much better than we are?
Wayne: Because I am, I won. I'm perfect in all ways.
Meatwad: Yep, 'cept for that afro. Plus, you got bad zits, boy.
Wayne: I got those on purpose.
Master Shake: You need a buf-puf.
Frylock: Come on, y'all. We're never coming back to this bar again.
Wayne: Wait wait! You will wait, and you will hang out with Wayne. Wayne-wayne-Wayne does have bar dollars.
Frylock: Look, just answer me this one question.

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Meatwad: Yeah, what's wrong with your hair?
Frylock: Well that.. really wasn't the question..
Meatwad: So it is grass...
Frylock: Damn!
Meatwad: I'm eatin' it!

Frylock: Is that all brain?
Wayne: It's the biggest one you've ever seen.

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Wayne: Go ahead. Ask forth your question to the all knowing Wayne and Wayne shall deliver unto you the answer of correctitude regardless of your limited ability to comprehend it.

Frylock: Okay. what did you put for the final question?
Wayne: Huh! The Backstreet Boys.
Meatwad: What-what?

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Meatwad: Your hair is good to eat!

Wayne: All the questions are merely illusions created by wayne. Just like this booth, Ned Hastings, our host, and the hot, moist meat on your friend's wings.
Frylock: So that's why he never gets full.
Wayne: Well, he's a glutton. And that bill is very real, You need to pay me right now.
Frylock: Man, what is your problem?
Wayne: Oh, people are jealous of my ability to put them down. Ha ha ha! It brings me great joy. But no tail, if you understand the vernacular.
Frylock: Well, look, we all have our problems with women, but we don't just create some fake situation to try and attract girls.
Wayne: Ha ha ha! Because you can't.
Meatwad: Well, don't rub it in, okay? we know.
Wayne: That's all you know.

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Frylock: Look, why don't you just make yourself a girlfriend if your brain is so damn advanced?!
Wayne: Well I did.
Frylock: Good, then go.
Wayne: Well, I will.
Frylock: And take your damn girlfriend.
Wayne: I will, she's with me. Stop looking at her.

Carl: Hey, quick question here. What happened to the bar?
Frylock: what do you think happened to it?
Meatwad: Hey, should we get shake? 'Cause he's getting eaten by aphids.
Frylock: Nah. he'll get a ride.