Aqua Teen Adventures - Premiere Online Source for Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Episode 26 - Super Squatter

Click on the filename above the transcription to download the clip. Enjoy!

supersquatter1.mp3

Dr. Weird: Gentleman..behold! The thermostat!
Steve: That's been there.
Dr. Weird: Observe as I adjust the heat! Hahah.
Steve: Is it on?
Dr. Weird: You tell me! Hahah, oh, oh wait! (starts on fire)

supersquatter2.mp3

Frylock: So Shake, uh, you are gonna take care of the bills for us this month, aren't ya?
Master Shake: Yeah, absolutely. As soon as this is done. Hahah!
Frylock: Well..uh..That's what you said when the last show was on.
Master Shake: The last show was the popular lead-in, see. This is the show the network wants me to watch. So if you wouldn't mind...

Master Shake: Hehehe!
Frylock: But you are gonna do it today, right?
Master Shake: Yes, yes, yes. How many times do I need to say yes to get you to leave?
Frylock: 'Cause it's getting late in the day, shake. I mean, the post office is gonna close soon.
Master Shake: I know what it's gonna do. I've been around when they lock those doors. Believe me, they close.
Frylock: Okay! As long as you've got it taken care of.
Narrator: Damn, frylock you fallin' for that same shiznit again, baby.
Master Shake: Haha! Does it every time. Ouch! Hahaha!

supersquatter3.mp3

Frylock: So, did you get those bills paid off?
Master Shake: Yes, like you wouldn't believe.
Frylock: All of them?
Master Shake: Every single one of them.
Frylock: Because there were four of them.
Master Shake: I know, I distinctly remember four.
Frylock: A-ha! There were six of them!
Master Shake: All right, truth time. First thing tomorrow morning, we crank it out. You and me together!
Frylock: Shake, tomorrow is Sunday!
Master Shake: You're right! Church! Monday morning, we hit it hard--both guns blazin'. Those bills will get paid so fast they won't know what hit 'em.

Frylock: There goes the cable. see?
Master Shake: Terrorists! Recite to me the number for the cable people.
Frylock: Well, the service hot line is on the bill that you never sent.

supersquatter4.mp3

Master Shake: Okay, recite to me the number for the excavators, unless you wanna go back there and dig up the septic tank yourself.
Frylock: You flushed the cable bill down the toilet?
Master Shake: All the bills, Frylock! They're too expensive! You know how much money it takes to heat this house? Take a wild stab.
Frylock: Last month: $487.
Master Shake: And that's a lot of money, isn't it? Hello operator? Get me the cable company please. Are you listenin' to me? Cause I'm about to unload! (throws phone) Hah!

Master Shake: Well, the phone's broken.
Frylock: Well, now it is. So do you understand why it's so important to pay those little slips of paper we get every month?

supersquatter5.mp3

Master Shake: Look, we got electricity and we got each other! (lights go out) Look, we got each other! What, are you gonna bill us for that now?
Frylock: You are about to learn a lesson in responsiblity, Shake.
Master Shake: I'm responsible for gettin' us into that club that one time. I smooth talked that dude, you saw me lay it down.

Frylock: Frankly, shake, I can live like this. You can't. And if you don't pay these bills, we'll just see how long it takes before you go out of your freaking mind.
Master Shake: I'm not backing down on this, ever. Turn on the lights. I want you to see the look on my face. Do you hear me? Or did they send a guy out to shut off your ears 'cause I didn't pay the ear bill? Where the hell is the switch?

Meatwad: Hey, how come the shower ain't working?
Master Shake: I don't know. Probably maybe something you did to anger god. He's angry with you, all right. I remember him telling me that at the last supper.
Meatwad: Mm-hmm. mm-hmm.
Master Shake: Yeah, they had good fish there.
Meatwad: You didn't pay the water bill, did you?
Master Shake: Or the electricity. That's why you gotta do it. You're my main man.
Meatwad: I am?
Master Shake: Everybody knows. I say it to so many people.
Meatwad: I knew you'd come around to me.
Master Shake: Here, hop on the TV and await further instructions.
Meatwad: I will not fail you. Wolverines!
Frylock: That's not gonna work, Shake.
Master Shake: Oh, God, always with the negatives, like a big zero. And that's why you're not my main man.
Meatwad: Yeah, I'm the main man.
Master Shake: That's right, main man. Now move to the left. It's still black.
Meatwad: Here?
Master Shake: Move further back.
Meatwad: How 'bout there?
Master Shake: Still black.
Meatwad: How 'bout this one?
Master Shake: I think I see something.
Meatwad: Is this-aah!
Master Shake: Too far.
Frylock: Shake, the electricity is gone, remember? We didn't pay for it.
Meatwad: Well now the TV's gone! How 'bout that?
Frylock: Look, there's just one simple thing you gotta do to make all this go away, and you know what that is, don't you?
Master Shake: You're right.

supersquatter6.mp3

Master Shake: Hey Carl!
Carl: What?
Master Shake: You think I could borrow a...come in! Ooo, is this a blooper show? I love these. Watch this: okay, see the guy in the cap right there, he's gonna get whacked in the groin by the fish..maybe the fish will bite the groin... Oh wait a minute, this is a fishing show, Carl.

supersquatter7.mp3

Carl: I don't remember ever saying, uh, "come in".
Master Shake: I know, it's unspoken between us; we got a vibe goin', ya know what I mean, man? Now you go get those pretzels cause I know you're thinkin' it!
Carl: Yeah, you read my mind there. Guess where the pretzels are! Think..we got a vibe.. Inside my gun.
Master Shake: Hey now. Now where'd that come from? All right, look. Let's just take a step back, breathe deep, and let's go get me those pretzels.

Frylock: What are you doing?
Meatwad: What do you think I'm doing? Paying the bills. I ain't got my blender to work all morning. I need me a weenie smoothie.
Frylock: No, no, Meatwad. Shake's gotta do it.

supersquatter12.mp3

Frylock: He needs to learn a lesson about responsibility.
Meatwad: Well you need to teach me a lesson about money! Look at this here, I was gonna send this! No one works in the system that I use.
Frylock: Why don't you just put all this back in your little..pine straw bank--
Meatwad: Bank?! No, that's my IRA. I use the bank, I get burned on capital gains tax!

Meatwad: What was that?
Frylock: Oh, man. I guess it finally happened.
Master Shake: What's the matter? Oh, somebody wants to get a little piece of electrified fluorescent lighting. Here's a taste. now, get lost.
Frylock: I heard gunshots. Are you okay?
Master Shake: Why wouldn't I be? I'm a guest in this home. So why don't you go back to the time before Christ, AKA, next door, your house. And the gunshots didn't mean a thing.
Carl: Oh, God. Oh, God.
Master Shake: I know! it's another bass fishing show. Two in one day! How lucky are we, right?

supersquatter13.mp3

Carl: I didn't think it was loaded...I just sorta checkin' the barrel there..
Master Shake: ..and it went off in your hand. Blah, blah. I know I know, I was there. Why do you think I cranked up the volume?!
Carl: Do you see my foot?!
Master Shake: You know, hearing does not come back. It degrades over time.
Carl: Just do something okay... just call the doctor or somethin...
Master Shake: I'll do it, I will.
Carl: Do it now!
Master Shake: Ssh. You're scaring the fish.

Meatwad: Work, please. Go. Puree.
Frylock: Man, I can't believe Shake's still over there.
Meatwad: Has he learned his lesson yet? Please tell me he has, 'cause this is getting old over here. Blend!
Frylock: Look, I'm sure that he'll come around and maybe even learn something. Just give it a few more hours, okay?
Meatwad: A few hours?! --Look here, I'm getting hungry and thirsty. sually by now I'd be on my fifth weenie smoothie. Guess how many I've had--Zero.

supersquatter8.mp3

Frylock: Weenies are spoiled by now, Meatwad. I mean, the fridge hasn't worked for a whole day.
Meatwad: Pssh. I don't keep 'em there. I age them on the window sill, so that when they get all sticky and slimy and smellin' bad like they's rotten, that's when they's gettin' good.
Frylock: Really.
Meatwad: Lemme go off topic here for a bit. You know how much protein is in a weenie smoothie?
Frylock: Uhh..no.
Meatwad: Zero. Blend!!
Frylock: Well I don't care how much you talk to that blender, it's not gonna work.
Meatwad: Oh, hell. We gotta make one manually. I'm about to lose my frickin' mind!

Frylock: Meatwad, no!
Master Shake: Meatwad, yes! Are you seeing this?
Carl: A little busy lookin' at this blood in my body that's gonna--
Master Shake: I mean, he's, like, an inch from death!
Carl: I'm losing lots of blood, here.
Master Shake: Relax. you got plenty there, big guy. Oh. you need the phone.
Carl: Yes, thank you.
Master Shake: I guessed it! What did I say? Do we have a vibe or what?
Carl: Aah!
Master Shake: whoops.

supersquatter9.mp3

Master Shake: You need the doctor?
Carl: Yes, please.
Master Shake: It's ringing.
Carl: Oh, God.
Master Shake: Hello. Doctor Cheesesteak? We require one sandwich-
Carl: I'm gonna blow you away.
Master Shake: -with forty cc's of cheesesteak, stat! With an infusion of medical sauce. Hold please. Carl? Yellow peppers?
Carl: Help me, please! My foot!
Master Shake: No yellow peppers for his. Okay, thank you. See Carl? I got your backside buddy. Now look, it's gonna be twelve bucks.

Meatwad: All right, look at that.
Frylock: Meatwad!
Meatwad: Oh, did you want one? Hang on a sec.
Frylock: No, no, no, Meatwad. shut it off.
Master Shake: Make me one!
Carl: Call the doctor, please!
Frylock: Carl?
Master Shake: Oh, don't encourage him.
Frylock: What happened to him?
Master Shake: Shoots himself in the foot and thinks the world's gotta stop for him. We're still turning, baby.
Frylock: Back away. let me look at it.
Master Shake: Oh, you mean so you can come in and have a nice glass of water. I wasn't born yesterday, okay? I've seen movies.
Frylock: He needs medical attention.
Carl: Yes, I do.

supersquatter11.mp3

Master Shake: He needs an upgrade from a satellite provider because if I see one more redneck spit into a lake, I'll be forced to get up and change the channel!

Frylock: Come on, Carl, here we go.
Carl: Oh! my foot!
Frylock: Listen, carl, I know it hurts, man, but I need to keep your foot elevated-- oh, hell.
Carl: Oh, that's not mine, is it?
Master Shake: Oh, that's bad, isn't it? Look, you need to get that on ice. At the hospital, with the hospital's ice.

Frylock: Carl, carl, calm down! Listen, listen, look. We'll be there in a couple of hours, okay?
Carl: No!

Master Shake: Damn, carl, you look stupid.
Carl: Yeah, my HMO guy didn't know how to approach this, so he did this.
Master Shake: Hey, do a headstand for me. Ya get it?
Carl: Ha ha ha. Yeah. I gotta tell you, I don't. I mean, look at these horse pills. I'm friggin' wasted here.
Master Shake: You got ripped, jack? Ha ha ha! Seriously, though, I'd be pissed.
Carl: Yeah, you'd think that, but something about these pills, they take the edge off, you know? Take 4 of 'em and that yellow gateway over there opens for the dwarfman. Did you want to go over there with me?
Master Shake: No, thank you. I want as little to do with you as possible. Now, please leave my sight.
Frylock: Well, I didn't think you'd do it, but you paid the bills.
Master Shake: Hell, no, I pay no bills. I pay you no mind.
Meatwad: Well, come on, the TV's about to come on.
Frylock: Well, I'm just glad that you finally accepted some responsibility, in the most ass way possible.
Carl: Ha ha. Come here. Hey, this here's funny.
Master Shake: Whoa. Bad wiring, my friend. And if you tell the insurance people that, stick to it; don't waffle. I'm fairly confident they will drop you.

supersquatter10.mp3

Frylock: You can stay with us, Carl. As long as you have those pills.
Carl: Thank you, Daddy. (Lays down on a pile of ants)
Master Shake: You found it, that's the guest bedroom. And hey, ya know. If you need to go to the bathroom..ya know, just do it.
Frylock: Shake.
Carl: Don't mess with him, okay, he's had a long day.
Master Shake: Ya need anything else..there's some ants.