Aqua Teen Adventures - Premiere Online Source for Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Episode 23 - Super Model

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supermodel1.mp3

Dr. Weird: Gentleman, behold! I have made love to this machine! And now, upon retrospect, I ask why.
Steve: I'm sure someone thinks that's pretty neat. So you do that for science?
Dr. Weird: No! It was free! And she was drunk; she didn't know what she was doing! (Lawnmower gives birth) My metal boy!

Meatwad: Boy, sure is nice not having Shake around.
Frylock: Yeah, it is odd that he'd go down to Guatemala and be a missionary. In fact, it's not true.
Meatwad: Look here, he could be down there on a prom date with Santa Claus on the moon for all I care. The point is, I can do whatever I want with my toys.
Frylock: Put up your toys.
Meatwad: Shut up.
Master Shake: Hello! Guess who's back!
Meatwad: Oh, hell.
Frylock: Well that's good. How was your mission trip?

supermodel2.mp3

Frylock: And where did you get that nose?
Master Shake: What nose?
Frylock: The one stickin' out of your face.
Master Shake: Oh, you mean the growth spurt? Yeah well, it's common with kids my age. When you're a little older, you reach something called 'maturity'. Look it up, wussy.
Frylock: It also goes by the name 'rhinoplasty' doesn't it?
Master Shake: Look, yes, during my mission trip I had a small procedure done so I can breathe better and hit the high notes!

Frylock: And when do you sing?
Master Shake: Don't be jealous 'cause I'm attractive. Why don't you go back to your ugly room and get on that chat with the girl you're afraid to meet in person?
Frylock: You leave her out of this.
Master Shake: And by the way, did you tell her that you're a box of friggin' fri--uh, thank you. Bonus! Hey, you got a goatee. Yeah, that's in style.
Frylock: All right, all right.Fine.
Master Shake: Like you got a dead rat on your face.
Frylock: Well, you-- you just let me know if those coconuts work out for you, okay?
Master Shake: I don't know what you're talking about.

supermodel3.mp3

Master Shake: Can you tell these are coconuts because they spraypainted them and they looked really good when I lef--
Meatwad: Nah, you lookin' good boy. Them professional nostrils. Something about you.. I can't put my meat on it, but you seems smarter..in the nose area.
Master Shake: Well, thank you I am.

Meatwad: Yeah, it would be great, too, if you had some cheekbones. You know, complete the set.
Master Shake: Well, what's that supposed to mean?
Meatwad: Well, hey, don't pin me down. Your face just seems a little front heavy. But, hey, you work with what God gave you, right? I mean, nobody says anything about it, but they are thinking it.
Master Shake: Nobody says anything about me? Well, why not?

supermodel4.mp3

Meatwad: All right, number one, your cheeks are hollow. Number two, you ain't got no masculine cut to your jaw. I mean you could be a man or a woman.
Master Shake: FRYLOCK!
Meatwad: What are you?
Master Shake: I gotta go back down to Guatamala for some more cheap surj-- mission trip. Lotta kids..big trouble.
Frylock: When will you be back?
Master Shake: That's really up to God now, isn't it? He works through me. No one touches any of my stuff! I am a man, dammit!

Frylock: What did you say to him?
Meatwad: Shh. Listen. Do you hear that? That's the sound of him not being here. All right, you thank me later.
Frylock: "Dear 69soFine, "sorry it took me so long to write you back. I had to pull some people out of a burning building this morning--"
Master Shake: Hello! Hello! I am back!

supermodel5.mp3

Meatwad: Ohhh, you've got to see this. Get off the computer, come in here.

Master Shake: Hey, come in here and shake a man's hand, baby!
Frylock: Damn son! That looks...horrific.
Master Shake: Don't be jealous. I'll send a couple skanks I don't want your way, don't worry.
Meatwad: What's that on the side? That ain't right.
Master Shake: Are you serious? Just hold on a second, all right?
Meatwad: Yeah, you better take care of that.
Master Shake: That's what I'm talking about. How's that look?
Frylock: What is that pumping into your jaw?
Master Shake: Natural spring saline. I woke up one morning and realized I was going through the change. You know, you should take sex ed. Then you'd know what this stuff's all about.
Frylock: Look, all I'm saying is it just looks really infected, okay?
Master Shake: Well, I'm not using the gravity feed system. You know how dumb I'd look in a magazine laying on a couch with the half-zippered jeans and some chick holding a freakin' saline bucket over my head to feed my jaw?
Frylock: All right. all right. I don't want to ruin your career. I just want to say that some antibiotics might not be such a bad idea.
Master Shake: Antibiotics? In Guatemala? Forget it. They give you a rat turd with a little season salt. No, I'll do the surgery there, the painkillers here-- if I did surgery, which I didn't.
Meatwad: You're looking like a man's man, now, boy. Are you gonna chop down a tree and build a log cabin so you can live off the land and wrestle bears?
Master Shake: I was thinking about it.

supermodel6.mp3

Meatwad: I just don't see how you're gonna see any bears with that fat saggin' over your eyes.
Frylock: Meatwad, don't.
Meatwad: What, if he's our friend we need to be honest with him. Here's the test: now look at me, Shake. Can you see me? Through all the fat drippin' over your eyes.
Master Shake: Well, now that you mention it, I don't know.
Meatwad: Well you can't. Look here, you want you a blue jean ad?
Master Shake: More than anything.
Frylock: A blue jean ad?!

Frylock: Look, Shake, a lot of times the media tries to present an image that isn't exactly true to life. I mean, you understand what I'm saying, right?
Master Shake: No, I do. I do. I understand that some people-- Meatwad--don't look good, and they should hide from the cameras at all cost. It's the beautiful people that are the smart ones and it's that very same smartness that makes them rich.
Frylock: Shake, people are different all over. I mean, it's not how you look on the outside, it's what's inside that counts.
Master Shake: Thank you, Dad. I get the message. Is that what you're trying to tell 69soFine?
Frylock: You read my e-mail?
Master Shake: You think she gets that you're a fireman yet?
Frylock: Well, screw you.
Master Shake: Oh, good one. Never heard that one before. Boy, do I feel burned.
Meatwad: Look, you don't listen to him, okay? He ain't vain like you are.
Master Shake: That's right. He doesn't know.
Meatwad: What you need, boy, is to lose the eye fat. Get yourself some soft pillowy lips, rock hard abs, and how about a giant brain horn?
Master Shake: I know. I couldn't find a guy with the expertise. I mean, look at me. This is my meal ticket, you know what I'm saying? I only have one face. Meatwad: And that is another issue that I wasn't gonna bring up, but I think you forced me to. You need a second, little one so you can do toy ads.
Master Shake: You're right, but I can't afford to go back to Guatemala. It's all fish bladders and coconuts down there. We need someone who wears shoes and washes their hands.
Meatwad: Don't you worry, now. I know me a guy.

supermodel7.mp3

Meatwad: Hey Carl.
Carl: Hey yourself. Who's your friend over there...smells like Almond Joys.
Master Shake: Hey, it's me, Shake.
Carl: What'd you get that done in Guatamala or somethin'?
Master Shake: Get what done?
Meatwad: Yeah, he did. We callin' in the pros now. Is your buddy out of prison yet?
Carl: Which one? 'Cause there's three.
Meatwad: Oh you know which one. The guy that was in the hotel...with the people...and the welding.
Carl: Oh, Terry. Yeah, yeah he's out. But part of his parole is he's not supposed to..ya know, do what he was doin'..to flesh.
Master Shake: We need him.

Master Shake: Otherwise people are gonna look at me and wonder what could have been.
Carl: All right. whatever. We'll meet at the docks at midnight. I get a 10% finder's fee. You never saw me.
Master Shake: Fine, but I'll need a receipt, 'cause this is a business expense.

Carl: All right, he wants you to drink all that before you go in there.
Master Shake: Easily done, my friend. Now you're talking my language. What's this thing for?
Carl: Yeah, that you'll bite down on so you don't swallow your tongue.
Master Shake: Now?
Carl: Oh, you'll know when. I feel pretty sure of that.
Master Shake: All right! hello, Hollywood. Let the games begin, baby.

supermodel8.mp3

Meatwad: Listen to that. (Hear Shake screaming) Goodness. Boy, he's doin' some work, isn't he?
Carl: Yeah. He builds hotrods, mostly. Sometimes faces.
Meatwad: Well, we just thank ya Carl. You been real good to us.
Carl: Yeah, shut up. I need my money now.

Master Shake: Whoa! he's quick and relatively clean. You know, this beats the jungle surgery any day. Snakes everywhere down there. You can't get rid of them.
Carl: Oh, I see he sold you on the Tijuana supremo package.
Master Shake: Well, you know, initially I was skeptical, but once I saw them in the showroom, I mean come on. You'd be a fool not to get it.
Carl: Hey, let's get out of here. And how about you shut that off before the cops see us, okay?
Master Shake: Hang on. I'm still plugged in here. Frylock, get in here. I'm about to unwrap my present to the jean-wearing populace.
Frylock: Are you sure that's wise, Shake? I mean, it's only been a couple of days since--
Master Shake: Yeah, right. I'm not waiting 6 weeks.
Frylock: Well, as long as you know what you're doing.

supermodel11.mp3

Master Shake: Oh my God. I want you to contact Jordache, and tell them I'm on my way!

Meatwad: Whoa, what happened to your butt? This is like a little shelter down here.
Master Shake: Well, if you add somewhere, stupid, you obviously have to subtract from somewhere.
Meatwad: So then they took your butt and put it on your face?
Master Shake: They did what now?
Meatwad: You oughta see this butt. It's flat.
Frylock: Actually it's concave, isn't it?
Meatwad: Yeah!

supermodel10.mp3

Meatwad: You got an ass-face boy! Am I right?
Frylock: Well, I guess you are right.
Meatwad: I ain't talking to you. I'm talking to ass-face over here. What do you think, ass-face?
Master Shake: How am I going to fill the jeans if I don't have an ass?!
Meatwad: You ain't. You need get yourself a job making horror movies. "Return of the Deadly Ass-Face".
Master Shake: Well fine.
Meatwad: "Never Go Back to Ass-Face Lake."
Master Shake: Well fine. I-I won't do jean ads. That's simple..
Meatwad: "Deadly Ass-Face Lake Camp". I need to work on that one.

Master Shake: But--but I could do underwear, right? Right?
Meatwad: Flip over, shovel-ass. You can do a hospital ad. They won't have to use makeup.
Master Shake: No! this isn't happening!
Meatwad: You a sucker.
Master Shake: No! What am I gonna--Frylock! You're into that science crap. You can--you can straighten this all out for me.
Frylock: Oh, I thought I was inferior. I don't know. Is the unwashed allowed to touch the golden?
Master Shake: Well, maybe this one time I could let it pass. I won't tell anyone.
Frylock: Listen, it's one or the other, okay? Either you get your ass back or your keep that face.
Master Shake: I choose the ass!

Narrator: You all thought Michael Jackson was creepy.

supermodel9.mp3

Meatwad: Has he eaten yet?
Frylock: No. You can tell he's still depressed.
Meatwad: Really? Is he out of my room yet? What? I need my space!

Master Shake: I can hear you out there. Maybe I'll get a Benetton ad where they look for freaks.
Frylock: Shake, you're not a freak, okay?
Carl: Hey, come look at this freak here!
Frylock: Yeah, I mean, yes, you do have a pair of large nostrils going down your back, and they're running--
Carl: Oh, my God! Look at that! Oh, Fryman, what are you doing?
Master Shake: Was he talking about me?
Frylock: No, of course not.
Carl: Oh, you missed it. It's a huge milkshake. Yeah, he's like a frickin'--
Frylock: I gotta go.
Meatwad: Frylock, please. let me handle this, okay?
Frylock: Good, 'cause I gotta get out of here.
Meatwad: Did you change something? You look kind of different.
Frylock: No, no. I'm the same. How does this coat look? Pretty cool, huh?
Meatwad: I'd loosen that belt. I mean, she's gonna think you ain't got nothing down there but a spine or a snake bottom.
Frylock: "She"? Oh, man. I'm just gonna go run a few errands, you know.
Meatwad: Yeah, right. Here. Say something about how bad the fire was and you got your face burned up. Play the pity card.
Master Shake: Hello?
Meatwad: It's your only hope.
Master Shake: Hello? Me?
Meatwad: You better eat that soup. It's gonna help you feel better.
Master Shake: All right. if you think so.
Meatwad: Whoa, little piggy! Show a little self-control. Nothing grosses me out more than fat people like you.
Master Shake: I'm fat?
Meatwad: As hell. have you seen yourself? I would not eat anymore unless you gonna get rid of it, you know what I mean?
Master Shake: What do you mean?
Meatwad: I ain't talkin' about digestion. I'm talking about this.
Frylock: Meatwad no!