Aqua Teen Adventures - Premiere Online Source for Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Episode 022 - Super Computer

Click on the filename above the transcription to download the clip. Enjoy!

supercomputer16.mp3

Creepy Beast: (Sounds of him eating Dr. Weird and Steve, then a snarl)

supercomputer1.mp3

Master Shake: Hey Frylick, you got that gamebox workin' yet or what? Come on.
Frylock: This is not a gamebox, Shake.
Master Shake: Well I'm bored.
Frylock: Just go rent a DVD.
Master Shake: I don't want to rent, I want to own!
Frylock: Then go get a job!
Master Shake: Yeah, well. Well, Dracula called and he's comin' tonight!

Frylock: Well good. Then he'll be the one to turn the knob to power the world's first hyperspeed super computer.
Master Shake: No! No, he doesn't know how. I'm turning the knob. I'm trained for this. where is it?
Frylock: You want entertainment?

supercomputer2.mp3

Frylock: Just try to imagine a world where emails are sent by your brain before they are written, and are read before they arrive by people you've never even met, in countries you've never even heard of.
Master Shake: Yeah.
Frylock: No imagine a world where all disease can be cured with one digital-- Shake turns nob, sends computer flying Hey! Shake! I told you to wait until I tell you to do it!
Master Shake: Dracula did it.
Meatwad: Damn, what was that?
Master Shake: What are you doing in the shower?
Meatwad: Bathing.

supercomputer3.mp3

Carl: What do you mean you've gotta count--? There's over 200 dollars in there! Oohh, okay Candy, I'm sorry. I guess we're not in America. I guess now I'm not allowed to pay for sex with pennies.

Narrator: Damn, Carl. I thought you knew hos will still be hos, brother.

Frylock: All right. there. We'll try this one more time.
Meatwad: Look. Hey, is that a knob?
Frylock: Get away from that!
Master Shake: No. Turn it.
Meatwad: It is a knob. I'm gonna turn it.
Master Shake: You should! Turn it!
Frylock: Will everybody just shut up?
Master Shake: Frylock, that's how it works.
Meatwad: I'm gonna do the knob, okay?
Frylock: Now, imagine, if you will, a world--
Master Shake: Yeah, imagine a world without your boredom. Now, will you turn it on before the pizza shows up? This tape is starting to hurt my skin.

supercomputer4.mp3

Frylock: Gentleman, the OoGhiJ MiQtxxXA!
Master Shake: Frylock, come on. Are you really gonna call it that?
Frylock: Well yeah. I mean, that's the Klingon word for superior galactic intelligence, and that's what this is.
Master Shake: Superior galactic grandma after eating a block of cheese, smoking 3 packs of cigarettes and drinking a quart of milk. Disgusting, that's the word.
Frylock: Well, I invented it and I can call it what I want!
Master Shake: Fine. Hey, good luck with the casual sex. I mean it. No, 'cause you won't get it. Not with that name. Anyway go on, I'm sorry to interrupt.
Frylock: (Sigh) Meatwad what do you think?
Meatwad: My butt itches.
FrylocK: All right, all right, fine.

supercomputer12.mp3

Frylock: What should I call it then?!
Master Shake: Bad Ass Motha!
Meatwad: No, Snoopie. Or Shroeder. One of them two.
Master Shake: No, Bad Ass Motha 4000!
Meatwad: The Red Baron
Master Shake: Twice as fast as your ass! Yeah baby!
Frylock: Look, how about we all just shut up and I turn it on?!

Frylock: Gentlemen, say good-bye to your old desktop.
Master Shake: Say good-bye to your new one, too.

supercomputer5.mp3

Frylock: Where did it go? What happened?
Master Shake: Was it supposed to do that?
Frylock: Did it bust through the wall again?
Meatwad: Yes it did.
Frylock: No it didn't!
Meatwad: Do..what'd it do? Where do I go to do the poop?

Frylock: Then how did it just disappear unless-- Oh, snap! It didn't! In order to transmit data from human nerve endings, I had to suspend the ram in a collodial fluid so it wouldn't overheat with the hard drives spun at the speed of time.
Master Shake: Uh-huh, yeah. Because you're a witch and you made it disappear with your evil magic.
Meatwad: He's a witch?
Master Shake: Oh, yeah!
Frylock: I'm not a witch. I'm not a witch.
Master Shake: Don't look at him wrong. He'll shrink your head to the size of a pea. I've seen it.
Frylock: Look, the hard drive spun so fast, it sent the computer back in time.
Master Shake: To the time of witches, where you once lived. Bring forth the stakes. You shall burn for your beliefs, witch. My pizza's here.

supercomputer6.mp3

Master Shake: Pizza time, Pizza time, Pizza time!
Meatwad: It's all starting to add up now, isn't it? The levitation... the evil book reading... them cream cookies you always eating. You a damn witch.
Frylock: Oh yeah, well whatcha gonna do about it?
Meatwad: Eat pizza. Pizza time, pizza time!

Master Shake: Okay. No, no, no, no, thank you, no. No we don't have any money here. Thank you. So I'd appreciate it if you dragged your cotton soaked pants off my grass.
Frylock: My computer!
Master Shake: Thank you. That's nice. Don't give the guy money, or we're gonna be the hobo hangout over here.

supercomputer14.mp3

Oog: Hello.. Me Oog..
Master Shake: Aww. Did you go to Vietnam, Oog? Oh, hang on. Let me shed some tears for your fake plastic toes.

Frylock: Leave the room now.
Master Shake: Oh I will. And I won't be here when he tells you how sick his family is. And that's why he has to inhale all the freon from the fridge.

supercomputer15mp3

Frylock: Man, thank God you found my computer! Where did you find it?
Oog: Right here, 300 million years ago. This way back before Oog spine straightened, front lobes developed, comprehend rational thought, master English language!
Master Shake: Hey Meatwad! Your Dad's here, he wants to make amends!

supercomputer13.mp3

Oog: So there me was beating boulder into powder because me couldn't eat it and magic ball land in lap. Naturally, me think, "All right! Free Egg!" because me stupid and me cave man. So me spent about 3 days humping and bust open with thigh bone so me could eat it good, then magic ball shoot Oog with beam, and next thing me know me go out and invent wheel out of dinosaur brain! Magic dino-wheel rolled for 3 short distance before me eat it, the point is me get smarter. Soon, me walk upright. Me featherback dirty, matted hair into wings for style and me stop to use bathroom as opposed to me just doing it as me walk.

Frylock: You know, that whole disease-free thing was just a marketing tool. I mean, to be honest with you, it's just something I thought up to sell the thing.
Oog: How do you think me live this long and me so smart from knowledge? A good diet? Me told you Oog spent half time eating dinosaur brains. Me no like brains.

supercomputer7.mp3

Frylock: You know, Oog, that is an amazing story, and I cannot thank you enough, man, for bringin' back my second prototype. Now if you'll just excuse me--
Oog: No. Me no bring back. Me think it miss something.
Frylock: What?
Oog: Kick ass fighting games with action missles.
Frylock: I get it, so you can sublimate your primal hunting instincts in a safe, civilized environment.
Oog: No, me bored! BORED! RAAARRR!! BORED!! Starts wrecking the place

Frylock: Whoa! Whoa! Oog! Oog! All right! Please, please! It's okay! It's okay!
Meatwad: That ain't my daddy.
Master Shake: Yes it is! I asked him, "are you Meatwad's daddy?" and he said, "yes I am, how'd you know?"
Oog: Argh!
Frylock: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Oog! Oog! All right! All right! Please! Just set the TV down. Here. Here. Look. Keys. Jingle keys.
Oog: Bored! Bored! Bored. Bored.
Frylock: Oog? Hello? Oog? You okay, man?
Oog: Ha ha! Me get crazy when me no have cigarette. Me try to quit, but me find it hard. Me love refreshing taste. You sure you no mind?
Frylock: No, of course.
Oog: Fire! Aah!
Frylock: Please! Okay, look, look, keys. Look, here are the keys.
Oog: Ooh. Magic keys make Oog all better. Jing-jingle-jangle.
Frylock: Shake, will you come in here, please?
Master Shake: I don't have to touch him, do I?
Frylock: Look, just come here and jingle these keys while I'm talking to him, okay?
Master Shake: I know how to do it! Don't try to talk down to me in front of your friends. I have friends, too, and they're coming over later.
Frylock: Uh, look, Oog, I mean, I don't want to come down too hard on you--
Master Shake: We're gonna watch loud TV shows, too, me and my friends. I'm jingling. Damn. I'm doing it.
Frylock: Look, Oog, this ball, as you call it, is mine, and I created it, and I kind of need it back now.
Oog: You no understand. Magic ball make Oog feel good, help Oog live long time.
Meatwad: Watch out, Daddy. He's a witch.
Oog: Red fryman want Oog to die.
Frylock: Damn it. I suppose I could hook you up with a few games.
Oog: Games good.
Meatwad: Games very good.

Frylock: Here you go. The ultimate action fighting game.
Oog: Sol-tar
Frylock: No. no. no. no. solitare. Look, look at the jack. See the jack there? When you do something good, he winks at you.
Oog: He look dumb with curly mustache. Bored.
Meatwad: Ow! Damn!
Oog: Bored! Bored!
Frylock: Wait, wait. Chill out. Chill out. Look, look, he shoots missiles, too. See? See? He's a warrior.
Oog: Oh. then me like better.

supercomputer8.mp3

Meatwad: Give him Clam Digger.
Frylock: I don't think Clam Digger is, uh-
Oog: Clam Digger! Give Oog Clam Digger!
Meatwad: Oh, you gonna love this, boy. Tyrone calls you up, you know - in the game - and he says "I can dig more clams than you, stupid!" And you gotta say "Nuh-uh, boy," And y'all gotta race down to the beach with your buckets and your shovels, and the object of the game is to find parking.
Oog: No Clam Digger.
Meatwad: That's a hard game!

Oog: And games convert into package, play over internet, small subscription fee?
Frylock: Well, sure. I suppose it could.

supercomputer9.mp3

Oog: Give to Oog. Mine, me crazy. Me rip Oog head off! RRAARR! MAGIC BALL MINE! OOG HEAD RIP!
Meatwad: See ya later, Daddy! Don't rip your head off! You need that for breathin' and stuff.

Meatwad: Good-byes are so difficult sometimes.
Meatwad: Hey, look, y'all. Daddy's on tv.
Guy: That's right dude, send e-mails from your brain. And now it's got hot new games like the legend of zoltar.
Guy: Plus it cures all diseases, dude. I kicked my zits to the curb.
Guy: Dude, you're getting an ooghij miqtxxxa.
Oog: You buy. make Oog rich. Rip head off. Argh! Argh!
Master Shake: Oh, man, now that I have seen that on TV, that is the shizz-nite!
Frylock: Well, apparently, since this guy has been around for about 300 million years, he kind of beat me to the patent.

supercomputer10.mp3

Master Shake: Well you made that other one. Get that one, we'll play with it.
Frylock: I don't know where it went.
Carl: Yeah, good luck finding it. It shot a hole through my roof. Hey, guess what it bounced off of?
Master Shake: I gotta go. And he did it.
Frylock: Uhh...
Carl: Look, I know that you're starin' at it. Hey, I mean, I gotta drain it 3 times a day so my brain can think good. We're hopin' that's temporary.
Frylock: You didn't happen to see which way it went, did ya Carl?

supercomputer11.mp3

Err: A is for apple, J is for jacks..
Ignignokt: Look, Err. Free Egg.
Err: Damn yeah! For straight, for shizzum!
Ignignokt: Try having omelets now, Denver.
Err: Omeletoidz!
Ignignokt: Did you hear what I said, Denver? Or shall I turn it up for you?