Aqua Teen Adventures - Premiere Online Source for Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Episode 19 - Super Birthday Snake

Click on the filename above the transcription to download the clip. Enjoy!

superbirthdaysnake1.mp3

Dr. Weird Gentleman, I have genetically spliced the double helix of a fried porkchop with that of my roommate, Randall.
Steve: Whoa..
Dr. Weird: Hell yes, whoa. Come here, Randall. And pay your half of the utilities! Hahaha!

superbirthdaysnake2.mp3

Master Shake: Meatwad! Your bunny rabbit showed up!
Meatwad: Well all right! Where is it?
Master Shake: Ooh. It's a long bunny, huh?
Meatwad: Sure is. Come on, bring him in here. Come on, hurry up. I ain't got all day.
Master Shake: No. I'm puttin' it back outside now because you think I'm some kind of slave.
Meatwad: Noo.. please, you can bring the bunny rabbit in here, now I need it!
Master Shake: Then you get it, it's your snake!
Meatwad: My snake? I thought you got me a rabbit?
Master Shake: Rabbit! Well--maybe you should just open it up before you go flying off the handle, judging things you don't know anything about.
Meatwad: opens the box This ain't no damn bunny rabbit!
Master Shake: What do ya know! It's a snake!

Meatwad: I wanted a bunny rabbit. I was gonna name it Nathan. That's latin for "warm," by the way. Nathan Scott Phillips.
Master Shake: Hey, look! Turn that frown upside-down! You can still have a bunny rabbit!
Meatwad: Really?
Master Shake: With a little imagination, of course!
Meatwad: Oh, boy!
Master Shake: Why look what we have here! Pipe cleaners, a stapler, and a pound of human hair!
Meatwad: I can make some fur and shape some ears for him and staple it all to his head.

superbirthdaysnake3.mp3

Master Shake: Then you'll be able to have your very own long bunny rabbit that you designed! It's your chance to play God!
Meatwad: Hold still, Nathan. This will only hurt once, but damn will it hurt. staples ears to snake, it begins biting him Ow, ow!
Master Shake: Hey, he's kissing you! He's thanking you for the gift of life.
Meatwad: Really?
Master Shake: That's a deep kiss too, like the Europeans. You know, the French, they have to unhinge their jaw to show love.
Meatwad: I'm kinda feelin' numb here. Is it supposed to really slow your breathin' down like I'm kinda feelin'.
Master Shake: Well, that's emotion overtaking your nervous system!
Meatwad: Well come on, Nathan Scott Philips. That's your name now.

Frylock: Did the bunny arrive yet?
Master Shake: What bunny? Oh, yeah, that got here all right. And you know what, he has been very irresponsible with it.
Frylock: And it came in that box?
Master Shake: I don't know.
Frylock: Whoa! what is that over there?
Master Shake: I don't know! I don't know! You're the one with the computer! Look it up!
Frylock: It's going all the way back to--Meatwad's room! Oh, my God!

superbirthdaysnake4.mp3

Master Shake: Hey, where is Meatwad? Oh, there he is, I found him.
Frylock: Where?
Meatwad: Hey, Frylock, look! Me and Nathan are cuddlin' from the inside.
Master Shake: Oh my God, Frylock. You know what needs to be done. Just let it alone until he dissolves. Now help me get the tail in here so we can seal this room off forever.

Frylock: Shake, get back. I'm gonna have to blow it open.
Meatwad: Don't blow him open! This is Nathan Scott Philips! He's my best friend!
Frylock: Stand back, Meatwad! Cover your ears!
Master Shake: Aw, geez, you gonna save him? Look, a snake's gotta eat!
Meatwad: If you kill Nathan, I will hate you for the rest of my days!
Frylock: Meatwad, you don't mean that! You know you don't mean that!
Meatwad: Oh, yeah, I do!
Frylock: Oh, I can't do it!
Meatwad: That's right, you can't!
Master Shake: Over here! For the camera, please.
Frylock: There's gotta be another way!
Master Shake: Tilt your head up, please.
Frylock: I know!
Master Shake: Head up!
Frylock: We'll make the snake throw Meatwad up!
Master Shake: I have an idea. Let's just feed him some of that crap you made us eat for Thanksgiving! You know, I threw up for 3 days, it was so disgusting!
Frylock: Dammit, he's not eating it!
Master Shake: Of course, he's not eating it because it's gelled fat!
Meatwad: I like it!
Master Shake: And I said that at Thanksgiving, and here we are again. Here's what you do. Hey, snakie! Spring break! You drunk yet, Snake? Yeah, you like that vodka going in, don't you? We'll see how you like it coming out!
Frylock: I think he's just passed out.

superbirthdaysnake5.mp3

Frylock: Meatwad, can you hear me?
Meatwad: You give me another beer, I'm 21!
Frylock: Oh great, he's drunk.
Meatwad: I'm not drunk, you the drunk one. And you wanna do somethin' about it?
Master Shake: Yeah, I'll do somethin' about it. How about that? Kicks Meatwad within snake You like that?
Meatwad: Ow! Say that to my face, what you scared? Ow! You did it again! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! You sonbitch!
Master Shake: This is stupid, let's just kick him outta here.
Meatwad: Ow! Ow!
Master Shake: Snake turns around and gives Shake a look What? What are you looking at? Shake is inside the snake Ohh, God. It smells like a brewery in here.
Meatwad: Yeah, just keep shoutin', ya stupid.
Master Shake: Frylock, blow his head off.

Meatwad: Do not kill him! He's a friend of mine!

superbirthdaysnake6.mp3

Meatwad: Or you'll have to deal with me.
Master Shake: Oh will you shut up, you drunk.
Meatwad: What, you just decide that I'm drunk? You can't decide.
Master Shake: Shut up!
Meatwad: I make that decision.
Master Shake: Oh my God.
Meatwad: That decision is mine and God's.
Master Shake: Will you listen to yourself?
Meatwad: God did that.
Master Shake: Now look--
Meatwad: And I'm not!
Master Shake: God!
Meatwad: I'm changed. I didn't make that decision.
Master Shake: Do not listen to Meatwad!
Meatwad: That wasn't a decision that was made here!
Master Shake: Split this sucker down the middle!!

Frylock: All right. hold your ears!
Master Shake: Wait, don't!
Frylock: What? What's wrong?
Master Shake: Make sure the camera's on first.
Frylock: Yeah.
Master Shake: All right. How are the lights?
Frylock: Oh, lighting's good.
Master Shake: Are they good?
Frylock: Yeah, Shake.
Master Shake: Now, do not touch the f-stop!
Frylock: I'm not messing with your f-stop.
Master Shake: You got me framed up?
Frylock: Oh, yeah, you're framed up.
Master Shake: Make sure I'm framed up, then blow her to hell.
Frylock: Oh, God! What have I done?

superbirthdaysnake7.mp3

Frylock: Thanks for comin', Carl.
Carl: Yeah, I can't pretend to know what you're going through right now, but you let go, okay. Thank you. If you need anything, you know who to look to: someone else.

Frylock: If only we wouldn't have gotten him that pet.
Carl: Don't!
Frylock: I mean, he would have been here today.
Carl: Don't beat yourself up over it. There's nothing you can do about this. I mean, it kinda was your fault, but hey, screw it. They're dead, and you're not.
Frylock: I appreciate it, Carl, I really do.
Carl: Is this a cemetery? This is a construction site, isn't it?

superbirthdaysnake8.mp3

Frylock: Yeah, thank God, man! They've held me down for too long! Got the house all to myself. Now I can finally do what I always wanted to do: hang out with the wrong crowd. So, uh, why don't you pick up a couple of bitches and come over here tonight--or I'll put a cigarette out in your damn eye?!

Frylock: Ooh! Mmm-hmm. Oh, you jealous? You want some? Oh, come on, let's see what we got in the back room here. Oh, and bring your friend. I like her.

superbirthdaysnake9.mp3

Carl: Here, it's a fruit roll-up. I was gonna make you a casserole for your---for your loss, but uh, but I didn't.
Frylock: Uhh, thanks.
Carl: I was gonna yell my brains out at ya, but because of your loss, I might just gently ask, what happened last night with all the noise?
Frylock: Carl, Carl, Carl. Why don't you mind your own damn business before I carve you up like a Christmas goose? You want a taste of what I did to that snake? Cause I'll do it to you too.
Carl: Fryman, man you've changed.
Frylock: Stabs Carl Oh, for the better?

Frylock: Heh heh heh. There goes the neighborhood. Oh, man, this is over! I'm done with this crib, and these stupid-ass dolls. "I gotta have a pet. I gotta have a pet." Shoulda stayed with them stupid-ass dolls, ain't that right? Heh heh. Now they're all gonna have to go. Who is it? Hello? Who's there? Show yourself! Oh! What? Impossible!

superbirthdaysnake10.mp3

Meatwad: You killed us, I told you not to do it and you did it...anyways.
Frylock: No.. I didn't!
Master Shake: Yes, you did.
Frylock: No.. I didn't!
Meatwad: Yes, you did.
Frylock: No.. I didn't!
Carl: Yes, you did.
Frylock: No.. I didn't!
Master Shake: Yes, you did.
Frylock: No.. I didn't!
Meatwad: Yes, you did.
Frylock: No.. I didn't!
Carl: Yes, you did.
Frylock: No.. I didn't!
Master Shake: Yes, you did.
Frylock: No.. I didn't!
Meatwad: Yeah, you did.
Frylock: No.. I didn't.
Carl: Yeah, you did.
Frylock: No.. I didn't.
Master Shake: Yeah, you did.
Frylock: No, really. I didn't.
Meatwad: Yes, you did.
Frylock: No.. I didn't.
Carl: Yes, you did.
Frylock: No.. I did not!
Master Shake: Wait, did you just say that you did?
Meatwad: He did?
Carl: what did he said that he did?
Frylock: No, I said that I didn't.
Master Shake: Cause you did!
Frylock: No I didn't.
Meatwad: Did to!
Frylock: Didn't!
Carl: Did.
Frylock: Didn't.
Master Shake: Did.
Frylock: No, I didn't.
Meatwad: Yes you did!
Frylock: Whoa whoa whoa..watch it..watch the fire over there..don't burn yourself..
Meatwad: Oh, thank you. But you did.
Frylock: No, I didn't.
Master Shake: Yes you did.
Frylock: No, I didn't.
Carl: You so frickin' did!
Frylock: No, I didn't.

Meatwad: Yeah, of course, you did!
Frylock: No, I did not!
Master Shake: Yes, you did!
Frylock: No, I didn't!
Meatwad: Well, yeah, you did.
Frylock: No, I didn't!
Master Shake: Yes, you did!
Frylock: No, I didn't!
Carl: You did!
Frylock: No, I didn't!
Carl: You frickin' did!
Frylock: No.
Master Shake: Yes, you did!
Frylock: No, really, I didn't!
Meatwad: Yes, you did! yes, you did! Yes, you did!
Frylock: Meatwad!
Meatwad: Yes, you did! Yes, you did!
Frylock: Meatwad!
Meatwad: Yes, you did!
Frylock: Take off the head gear!
Meatwad: You stay away from me with your bad influence and your earring!

superbirthdaysnake11.mp3

Meatwad: You killed me! I ain't gonna forget that.
Frylock: Relax, Meatwad, it's over. That was just a computer simulation.
Meatwad: Wait a second. So I'm not a zombie?
Frylock: Nope, no you're not.
Meatwad: But I crave brain!
Frylock: Computer simulation.
Meatwad: What happened next?
Frylock: I don't know, I kinda wrote myself into a corner there at the end. Still, it was pretty realistic though, don't you think?
Meatwad: Oh, yeah. The graphics were great. And especially, the pains I was feeling in the back of my head were very realistic.
Master Shake: And that was just me, jabbing you in the back of your head with this fondue fork.
Meatwad: You did your job good!

Frylock: So, I hope you learned your lesson.
Meatwad: Yes, I did. I mean, oh, I did. Wait, what was it?
Frylock: Don't you see, Meatwad? Having a pet is a large responsibility. And the simulation program proved to me that you are not mature enough to take care of a pet rabbit.
Meatwad: Frylock, is that what you think?
Frylock: Well, that's what I and the computer both know. Mmm hmm.

superbirthdaysnake12.mp3

Meatwad: Well, then know this. shoots Frylock Hey, Nathan look! Fresh brains! Come on, lap 'em up while they're still warm and thinkin'.
Frylock: Ohh, God! My brain!
Meatwad: Turn the simulation off, please.
Frylock: Ohh, God! My brain!
Meatwad: Frylock, please. That was a computer simulation program. And it proved to me that you don't know what I like and what I like to do, and that is to tell you what to do, and you need to listen to what I say because I'm gonna eat your brains!