Aqua Teen Adventures - Premiere Online Source for Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Episode 13 - Love Mummy

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lovemummy1.mp3

Dr. Weird: Gentleman. I bring you: More corn!
Steve: Gee, I don't know man. I mean, after last time.
Dr. Weird: This time shall be different. Hahahah!
Steve: All right. Cause I am hungry again. Corn kills Steve
Dr. Weird: It's not different at all, is it Steve? Ahahaha!

Frylock: Shake? Shake! Turn those damn monster movies do- Shake?
Master Shake: Who's watching my TV? Because you're about to turn it off--!
Meatwad: I bought the damn TV!
Frylock: Will you two shut up and listen! It sounds like it's coming through the floor.
Master Shake: Will you shut up?! You hear me?! It's three o'clock in the morning and I need to sleep!
Meatwad: Hey, can I have some of that?
Frylock: Just try to block out the noise and go to sleep and we'll deal with it in the morning.
Meatwad: Sure, I'll be able to do that. I'll just go to sleep and then tomorrow morning I'm gonna call me a social worker. And tell him I'm in unfit living conditions and the city will be over here so fast tha- oh.

Narrator: Damn! Look like another problem for my boys at aqua teen.

lovemummy2.mp3

Meatwad: Don't you never do that to me again. Half my body's asleep.
Frylock: I'm detecting carbon residue that's over 4000 years old. Whatever's moaning in that crawlspace is--
Meatwad: Just a little baby raccoon that stepped on a thorn, maybe and got lost from his mama.
Frylock: And is over 4000 years old?
Meatwad: I mean, they exercise. I seen 'em jumpin' on trees and --.

Frylock And is moaning in english?

lovemummy3.mp3

Meatwad: The raccoon is American, obviously.
Mummy: Come in!
Frylock: Say! Why don't you go in there and check it out? I mean, like you said, he is American, right?
Meatwad: No here's another idea: Hell no. You go check it out.

Mummy: Come in!
Frylock But maybe if you disguise yourself, you can enter the room undetected.

lovemummy4.mp3

Meatwad: You know that's a good idea. I'll become the igloo. He'll see me in the crawlspace and he'll say "Hey, igloo. Eskimoes must live here."
Frylock: That's a brilliant camoflauge. You're the smart one.
Meatwad: I sure am.
Mummy: Igloo!!
Meatwad: Ahhh! That ain't no damn raccoon! I told you I was gonna call that social worker. I'm gonna do it, now! I do not need to live here.

Mummy: Love!
Frylock Love? Oh, my god! Meatwad, come in here!
Mummy: Love! Hugs!
Meatwad: Well, wait, Frylock. Maybe--maybe he just wants a hug. That's what he wants.
Frylock No, Meatwad.

lovemummy5.mp3

Frylock: You must never hug a mummy!
Mummy: Hug Mummy! Curse!
Frylock: See? See? What'd I tell you? If you disturb his ancient tomb, you'll be forever cursed.
Mummy: No!! Hug! Curse!
Frylock: Nah, no. I know, Mummy. No need to repeat yourself, I am fully aware of your cheap trickery.
Mummy: No!! Hug! Curse!
Meatwad: I think what he's saying, Frylock, is that he wants us to hug him, or else he's gonna curse us.
Mummy: Yes. Thank you.
Meatwad: So let's dust him off and give him a big old bear hug.
Frylock: Yeah. You go on and hug him, Meatwad. I don't do that.
Mummy: Ball, ball! Sugar!
Frylock: Look, I ain't huggin' no damn Mummy.
Mummy: Curse!!
Frylock: All right, fine. But don't you tell anybody we did this.
Mummy: All right, all right! Ahh.

Mummy: Lunch! Lunch!

lovemummy6.mp3

Carl: I see you found the Mummy, there.
Frylock: You knew about this, Carl?
Carl: Oh, yeah yeah. I mean, you think you're weird. I mean, the guys before you--I don't care what you do behind closed doors, you know. But once you start puttin' Mummies in the yard, where I can see them it becomes my business.

Mummy: Hungry! Lunch!
Carl They don't die neither. You're in it for the long haul, there. Why you think your rent was so low there, genius?
Frylock Well, I just figured we had found a good deal.
Carl Oh yeah, you found a deal there--deal of a lifetime. Ha ha!
Mummy: Food now!
Carl Yeah, you--you go feed your mummy there for the rest of your life. See ya!

Frylock Here you go-- hot grilled cheese. Oh, come on, now! I just made those!
Mummy: Lobster!
Frylock Lobster?
Mummy: Surf, turf!
Meatwad: Well, hell. I take that grilled cheese.
Frylock We're frugal people, okay? We don't generally eat lobster and steak for lunch.
Mummy: Curse!
Frylock You cannot be serious.
Meatwad: Yeah. You better try Lord of the Lobster off of 14th street. They're the closest. And get them to throw in some of them yeast rolls with the dipping sauce.
Meatwad: Shut up and eat your cheese sandwich!

Narrator: If you bringing that mummy back a lobster, you better bring me back a cheesesteak, fool. You better recognize.

Meatwad: Listen to this.

lovemummy7.mp3

Meatwad: What did Frankenstein say when the Wolfman asked him if he could come out and play? This is good now. He had to go ask his Mummy! Hehehehe. Well, it's okay. I mean, it only works on that one level. But here's a good one. And this one's about a one-eyed prostitute, and a person of the Polish persuasion.

Frylock Okay, lobster time.
Meatwad: I'll tell you later. do I get a lobster?
Frylock I just got you those rolls you asked for.
Meatwad: I ain't eating bread. now, I want a lobster.
Mummy: Butter! butter!
Frylock No, I know. I got extra butter. Now, go on and eat your lobster.
Meatwad: Why does he get the lobster?
Frylock 'Cause he's the Mummy, dammit. Now, shut up. Hey! that was almost a $30 lobster.
Mummy: Maine! Maine!
Frylock Look, frozen lobster is just as good.
Meatwad: That wasn't a live Maine lobster? What are you trying to pull here?
Frylock Well look at that steak, there. That's a good cut of meat there. eat that. Hey!
Mummy: Overdone!
Master Shake: Do you know what time it is, huh? It's two thirty in the afternoon, and people are trying to sleep.

lovemummy8.mp3

Master Shake: Who's Mummy?
Frylock: I found it in the crawl space.
Master Shake: So you were the one doing all the moaning when I was tring to sleep, huh? (Mummy laughs)
Frylock: Shake, you don't wanna piss him off. He has the power to curse you.
Meatwad: Do it Shake. Piss him off.
Master Shake: I'll do what I want, when I want, and how I want! And no Mummy, you hear me band-aid--
Meatwad: Here it comes.
Master Shake: No Mummy's gonna tell me, what to do!
Mummy: CURSE!!! CURSE!! CURSE!!!!

Meatwad: Oh, damn.
Master Shake: You done? We all done here?
Mummy: Curse!
Master Shake: Now are you done?
Mummy: Yes.
Master Shake: 'Cause I'm done listening to you. I got a curse for you, it's called, tomorrow morning your ass is out of here. I'm going back to bed!
Mummy: Curse!
Master Shake: I heard it already, I know! It's a frigging curse! It's like I'm living with a pack of frigging animals!
Frylock Shake, I hate to tell you this, but I think you may have been cursed.
Master Shake: Gee whiz, you think? 'Cause, you know, he only said it about a thousand times!
Frylock I'm dead serious, Shake. If you start to feel your eyes boil or anything weird like that, you page me immediately.
MS And where are you gonna be?
Frylock I'm gonna make a quick stop at the library.
Mummy: Mall!
Frylock After I go to the damn mall.

Mummy: Bored, bored, bored, bored.
Frylock Ah, here we are-- mummies for dummies.
Mummy: Bored! Bored!!
Frylock Shh! we're in a library.
Meatwad: He's right, Frylock. what can I say? This is boring. Let's go to the mall and buy me that action frank doll.
Frylock No, we're not gonna buy you any--
Meatwad: Curse! Curse!
Frylock No, no. I know. "Curse, Curse." I heard it. I'm moving.

Narrator: Look, taking a mummy to the mall is like taking Frankenstein home for dinner. You just don't do it, man. You just don't do it.

Meatwad: How come the mummy got all that stuff? I keep showing you this action frank doll, and you didn't do nothing.
Frylock Okay, we're finally home.
Mummy: Again! Again!
Frylock Please, mummy. I'm starved, and I'm exhausted. Why don't you go play around on your new rock-climbing wall that you had to have--
Mummy: Lessons! Lessons!!
Frylock Oh, and I'm gonna call right now about those rock-climbing lessons. You just hang out with Meatwad right here and guard all your precious things.
Mummy: Curse!
Frylock No, no. I know, I know. I'm on the clock. You got two watches; why don't you just time me? See if they sync up.

lovemummy9.mp3

Meatwad: Hey Mummy? When he comes back out here, you say real loud "Action Frank Doll" like you like to do, okay?

Frylock Shake, how you feeling?
Master Shake: Hey you know, I'd feel better if you shut the hell up while this is on. Here's a great frigging idea for you. How about one minute of silence in this house when I'm trying to watch something?

lovemummy10.mp3

Frylock: Wow, your eyes didn't even blister up--
Master Shake: Get your hands off me, brother. You been touchin' that Mummy. You know I saw ya huggin' him in the basement.
Frylock: I wasn't hugging him!
Master Shake: Go hang out with your dead mummified wife!
Frylock: I gotta go to my room now!
Master Shake: Mummy lover!

Frylock Let's see. Curse, curse, curs--here we are. "The curse of the mummy is actually just a figure of speech. Vomiting locusts for a thousand years is just an old wives' tale. The real curse of the mummy is that he is completely socially inept, devoid of all manners, gold-digging, manipulative, and a selfish brat. Don't ever wake him unless you have a lot of time and money on your hands. Thank you for buying "Mummies for Dummies".
Mummy: Action Frank.
Meatwad: Just put a little more oomph into it. You didn't even seem like you wanted it on that one.
Mummy: Action Frank!
Meatwad: There you go. sound off like you got a pair. Oh, Frylock,what are you do-- I guess you bettergo get him that action frank doll. He's been wailing about it all day. I'd hate to see what's about to happen, You know what I mean?
Frylock No. I think I've got a better idea.

Mummy: Boxes?! No, not cool!
Frylock Stack the boxes up real high. Try to make it look like we're not throwing away a mummy.

lovemummy11.mp3

Carl: I'm the king! King Carl! Da da da da da! You know I'm your ruler. Heheheh, heh yeah! Hears Mummy in background SHUT UP!!

Frylock It's very nice, Carl.
Meatwad: It really brings out the gold in the uh, that golden region in your shirt.
Carl Yeah! I knew you'd be jealous. Shouldn't have thrown it away there, fryman. Now it's frigging mine. Yeah!
Meatwad: Hoo-whee. So should we tell him?
Frylock No, no. Let Shake do it, Meatwad. He'll know exactly what to say.

lovemummy12.mp3