Aqua Teen Adventures - Premiere Online Source for Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Episode 11 - Bad Replicant

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Dr. Weird: Gentleman, chop off my head with such velocity that my blood will rocket through my neck and propel my lifeless body all the way to Phoenix!
Steve: Wow. What's in Phoenix?
Dr. Weird: Why, it's your Mama, Steve! Get the axe!

Oglethorpe: Look at it out there. Orbiting like it's so cool.

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Oglethorpe: We will rule it with an army of replicants!
Emory: Ah.. Well we've only got the one..
Oglethorpe: Well, we'll start with the one. Ya know, feel it out. Then when we have that going on we'll crush them into bugs with a mighty replicant feet!

Emory: Sweet. Heh heh.
Oglethrope: Yes, hot damn. How long until the replicant cools?
Emory: Just a couple more days, man, and we're all over it.
Oglethrope: A couple da--it will be the weekend then, and I'm going to the lake with fraulein Freischmunker!
Emory: He's not really ready yet.
Oglethrope: The hell he is not! Yank him out of there! I'm waterskiing Saturday!
Emory: All right, man, I--I'll do it.
Oglethrope: And he had better look exactly like this! Ah ha ha ha ha ha!

Meatwad & Frylock Sing Bless be the tie that binds
Frylock Okay, okay, Meatwad, just Shake now.
Meatwad: Take it, shake.
Frylock Let it come from your heart, Shake.
Master Shake: Blah, blah, wine, blood--
Frylock what are you doing?
Master Shake: What?
Frylock You may be able to get away with that in church, Shake, but that's not gonna cut it here!
Master Shake: Why are we doing this?
Frylock Because I want to join the church up the street, and Meatwad needs to learn some morals and values--

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Master Shake: Look at him and tell me there's a God.
Meatwad: He made me in his own image.
Master Shake: Oh, yeah. That's right. God's a big meatball! I forgot!

Meatwad: He is.
Master Shake: Does he stink like you do?
Master Shake: Hello?
Meatwad: I pray to him.
Oglethrope: Yes, guten abend. Is this the Master Shake?
Master Shake: Why, is this Hollywood?
Oglethrope: Ya, we have your head shot, and we're casting a big movie. We think you'd be just perfect for the role of the stupid earth slave! Hahah! You think you'd be interested?
Master Shake: I don't know. You better speak to my agent. I can't believe it! This is it. What did I teach ya?

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Meatwad: Yes, hello, we want 3 million up front, 15% gross domestic and international, all merchandising rights and--
Master Shake: Don't forget about a copy of the movie!
Meatwad: Hold on.
Master Shake: And a VHS!
Meatwad: And one VHS copy of the movie.

Master Shake: You hear that? Do what he says!
Oglethrope: That is good. I'd like to run through the script with you. Why don't you come outside right now?
Master Shake: Hell, yeah! Let's go.
Oglethrope: This is where the movie is.

Master Shake: Okay, who am I reading with?
Oglethrope: Go stand over there next to him.
Master Shake: Oh, my God. this is amazing.
Major Shake: What's up, fellas?
Emory: We just need to yank this out of your head.
Oglethrope: Don't touch him! He's a perfect clone.
Emory: Um. He looks a little small.
Oglethrope: Quick! Give him some heels now!
Major Shake: I'm supposedto be this guy? Are you insane?
Master Shake: Get killed in stereo, this Christmas. That'll be the tag line. I can see it now. I made that up, remember I get points on that too.
Major Shake: Can I ask you a quick question?
Oglethrope: There's no time. you have your mission. See that it's accomplished.
Major Shake: Uh, no, I don't.

Meatwad & Frylock Sing Hallelujah hallelujah!
Major Shake: well, hallelujah. how are you guys?
Meatwad: Who are you?
Major Shake: Your--your best friend, remember-- Major Shake? Mr. shake? Hey, let's do some of the things that we like to do together, together.
Frylock Okay, everyone into the cart. Let's all go give blood.
Major Shake: Yeah, the blood drive-- my favorite!
Frylock That was a trick.
Meatwad: It was?

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Frylock: The real Master Shake thinks that the blood drive is a pyramid scheme perpitrated by Dracula and his night slaves.

Meatwad: Yeah, that's right.

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Meatwad: He ain't my best friend, neither. He yells at me and scares me and locks me in the attic and pours liquid on my head that stings and freeze me with the fire extinguisher and a whole bunch of other stuff that I can't remember cause he shocked me in the head with a car battery!

Meatwad: ..with a bunch of clamps and sponges.
Frylock Yeah, Meatwad, okay. And I know he ain't got no stereo sticking out the side of his neck.
Major Shake: You're not buying it, are you?
Frylock Hell no.
Meatwad: You need to come hit me. Then I'd believe you.
Major Shake: Yeah, let me get out of these heels.
Meatwad: Sure, make yourself comfortable. Can I get you anything?
Frylock Where's the real Shake?

Master Shake: Green guy, where's the craft service table around here? I'm hungry, and I need the prop guy. I need some sunglasses for the scene.
Oglethrope: There is no scene!
Master Shake: Who am I playing? 'Cause my character will need to know that.
Emory: Yeah, hey Oglethorpe, do you remember this guy?
Oglethorpe: I'm starting to.
Emory: And how annoying he was. Remember that?
Oglethorpe: Yes, and how he scoffed at our magazines!
Emory: So, uh, like, what were we gonna do with him?

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Oglethorpe: We will use him for the armies...of the night...
Emory: But.. I thought we were going to use the replicant down there to do an army..of the night.
Oglethorpe: Different army, dorkface!

Oglethorpe: This army will take over the rest of the galaxy! Do you see how my mind works? It's like a laser!
Master Shake: You know, I know you from somewhere.
Oglethorpe: He must not know who we are. Quick, paint the Mind Room!
Emory: Uh, I'm still not done with the trim on that.

Major Shake: Yeah, they're, uh, they're real stupid. One time they were going to erase this guy's mind, but they didn't want to fork out the cash for the mind-obliteration gun, as if one existed, right?
Frylock They don't?
Major Shake: Anyway, they put a guy in the closet, they paint it-- they paint the closet, right?
Frylock Right.
Major Shake: They put the guy in there thinking that the paint fumes will, you know, make him forget.
Frylock Yeah?
Major Shake: So that, uh, he wouldn't tell his mom we hit him in the head with a hammer.
Frylock: Oh, you're ki — Meatwad, it's not polite to stare.
Meatwad: But, look at him.
Major Shake: No, it's okay, I know. I'm totally, hideous.
Meatwad: No i-it's cool, I just wondered if that jam-box worked, you know. Shake threw mine in a cobra cage, and dared me to go get it, and that's why I'm all puffy back here.
Major Shake: Hang on, let me see. There we go.
Meatwad: Big city nights!
Frylock So how were you made? Were you cloned from Shake's DNA?
Major Shake: Are you kidding? They gave me his photo, threw me in a pizza oven-- called it a pod-- and told me to wing it and that it would be cool and that it would work, and clearly it didn't.
Frylock Hmm. I think I met those guys before. They're not exactly intelligent.
Major Shake: Gee, could you tell by the giant hairy bosoms that are growing on my back?

Oglethrope: Why isn't the earth de-terraforming?
Emory: Well, he needs to gain their confidence, and then, um, he can get a job, and then he can start buying pesticides.
Oglethrope: That could take weeks! Look over there. That's doing some de-terraformation, right?
Emory: No, man, that's Hawaii.
Master Shake: What's up with the closet? There's nothing to do in there.
Oglethrope: Dammit! Get back into the mind room! Emory, lock the door!
Emory: You--you told me to paint over the lock.
Oglethorpe: Oh, well son of a-- Imprison him within the rings! You'll never move from that spot again, unless you like being cut in half!
Master Shake: (Shake answers phone) Yelloo?
Oglethorpe: The laser rings!
Master Shake: Look, brother, these ain't nothin but disco lights.
Emory: No, the installer said that they were prison laser rings, and I, I believed him.
Oglethorpe: Don't listen to him, for he is a witch!

Master Shake: Look. There's somebody on the phone, all right? I got to go.
Oglethrope: Well, give it to us before you possess us with one of your spells.
Master Shake: I'm telling you, these rings--
Oglethrope: Over the rings! You'll drop dead soon! Hello?
Major Shake: Hey, uh, what's up, guys?
Oglethrope: Oh, hi, um, Major Shake. How's that plan going?
Major Shake: What plan? Look, they know. They can see the real shake over there in your friggin' disco lights.
Oglethrope: Why is everyone saying these are disco lights?
Master Shake: Look at me! I'm in a movie!
Meatwad: Hey, Shake!
Oglethrope: You! Go into the bathroom!
Master Shake: I don't know. I don't want the deadly rings to cut me.
Oglethrope: Go!
Emory: How's the deterraforming going?
Major Shake: When, uh--what is deterraforming? This is the first I've heard of that.
Oglethorpe: Look, look, settle down, can you just like maybe try and replicate some other people, and get an army going and then you know uh, take over the planet.
Emory: Or is that not possible?
Major Shake: I don't know, I don't think I can replicate others, was that your plan?
Oglethorpe: Well, one of them. We have many plans.
Major Shake: Well maybe your next plan should be to tell me what the plan is.
Oglethorpe: Well look, settle down. It's all cool.
Major Shake: No. No. Look at me dude. I'm a leaky, disgusting, abomination and I'm not going to do it anymore. You know what, I'm just not gonna do it anymore.
Oglethrope: Okay, look, just hang loose for about, uh, 20 minutes.
Emory: Yeah, just-- just chill, and we'll get back to you with some notes.
Oglethrope: Believe me, this will be so cool when we figure it out, but whatever you do, keep them in the dark about your identity. Transmission out.

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Frylock: Did they not see me sitting here?
Replicant: No, I'm sure they did. It'll come to them later.
Oglethorpe: Oh, DAMMIT. That was that man, the Fry man!

Oglethrope: He saw us!
Emory: Seriously?
Master Shake: Hey, you guys got some amazing space-age tubes running every which way in there.
Oglethrope: Oh, ya, they're called pipes. You should get some!

Major Shake: Man, do uh-- do you have a car?
Meatwad: Well, we got a cart. Did you want me to pull you somewhere?
Major Shake: No. that'll take forever. Look, I'll just replicate your neighbor's rig. That'll work.
Frylock I thought you said you couldn't replicate other things.
Major Shake: Well, I don't know that I can't do it.

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Replicant: I will need one of those amazing space age, you know tubes.
Frylock: What a pipe?
Replicant: Yeah! That!

Meatwad: So, is he like replicating it?
Frylock: No, he's hotwiring it.
Meatwad: Oh, shoot I was hoping I'd learn something. Science is a mystery to man, isn't it Frylock?
Frylock: Yeah it sure is Meatwad.
Meatwad: Like how'd I ever evolve from the ancient dinosaur. I wish I had some of their stuff boy. Like them tail. Them tails that make 'em fly.
Frylock: Shut up, Damn!
Major Shake: See ya. It's been real.

Emory: Really? Did he say where he was going? Your friend-- Major Shake.
Frylock Look, I know he was a replicant sent here to deterraform our planet, which would never have worked, by the way. It's not even a word.

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Oglethorpe: What are you talking about? Don't flatter yourself with your jealous fantasies. What do you want us to do? Sign your freakin' yearbook?!

Emory: Okay, look, if you see him, could you just tell him to get going on the crab-training project? And he'll know what you're talking about. It's cool.
Frylock Okay, we'll pass that on.
Oglethrope: Danke.
Emory: Hey, uh, do you know anything about crustacean enlarging or training?
Oglethrope: Oh, forget it, Emory! Your pathetic fanged mouth has ruined my plans once again!

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Frylock: So.. did they.. um.. ever find your car?
Carl: Oh, they found part of it.. Ya know, hangin' from a trestle near the turnpike. Yeah, the cops say he had a straw like pertrusion, and a cup-like body. You know anybody like that?
Frylock: Well it wasn't Skake, Carl. He was abducted by aliens earlier this afternoon.
Carl: Oh I knew that, yeah, of course.
Frylock: He was. Seriously.
Carl: Yeah, I hate you.

Emory: So, what are we gonna do with the prisoner?
Oglethorpe: We shall ask the mighty Orbnauticus. Orbnauticus, we seek wisdom. To what evil purpose shall we put our slave to use?
Emory: Maybe he's sleeping.
Oglethrope: Do not insult Orbnauticus, or you shall be damned forever to the forbidden zone!
Emory: I'm just saying maybe we should call the installer. I mean, it's the same guy that did the laser rings and--
Oglethrope: The prisoner! He's escaped!
Master Shake: I'm over here. Hey, that disco ball is pretty cool.
Oglethrope: This is Orbnauticus, and he is all-knowing.
Master Shake: Then why ain't he sayin' jack crap?
Emory: Yeah, man, how come?
Oglethrope: Because silence is his wisdom. Obviously he's busy navigating us through the stars.
Emory: Oh, my goodness!
Oglethrope: Go, go, go. Do not look back!
Emory: I'm going.
Oglethrope: Just go.