Aqua Teen Adventures - Premiere Online Source for Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Episode 10 - Dumber Dolls

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Dr Weird: Gentleman, behold. My time space contin-- (Dr Weird freezes)
Steve: What? Uh, Dr. Weird? (Steve pushes Dr Weird and he explodes) See ya later, have a good weekend!

Meatwad: Houston, we have successfully landed on a grass planet. Hooray! Roger that, Vanessa. We have come to sign a historic peace accord with the grass people--the grassenoids! Houston, a ship approaches. Maybe it's the senators of the grassenoid confederation coming to welcome us. What the h--
Master Shake: Hey! You better tell your astronauts they need to watch where they land their ship next time, 'cause they might get overrun by the alien life form.
Meatwad: They ain't got no ship. They use rocket boots.
Master Shake: They don't use nothin' now, do they?
Meatwad: You shut up! I'm going to have a moment of silence for our brave astronauts.
Master Shake: Hey, you better hit the force fields there, 'cause here on moweropolis, you're next!
Meatwad: Houston, it's captain Meatwad. Abort mission!

Meatwad: And then he's shouting that my astronauts were living together in sin and that they deserved to be mulched. Then he's just jabbering and cranking the mower at me--
Frylock: It's all right, Meatwad. We're going to get you a new doll.
Meatwad: Well, then give me that Jiggle Billy. That's the one I want-- with the munchkin and the moonshine and the night-vision goggle and the bare feet.
Frylock: Damn. Say, how about this doll? I bet he's fun, and he's only $3.99.
Meatwad: Happy-Time Harry? I don't know. does he come with a musket? 'Cause that could be a deal breaker.
Frylock: No, but he's got on red dancing glitter shoes, and I know how much you like to dance.
Meatwad: I dunno, he looks real tired and bald.
Frylock: Look, this is the one we're gonna get, okay?

Happy-Time Harry: Hi, I'm Happy-Time Harry. You got a problem with that? 'Cause if you do, we'll go right now.
Meatwad: Whoa, easy. I just figured we'd do some dancing or something.
Happy-Time Harry: No, I don't do that. I wrenched my back lifting boxes a few years ago. My old lady kicked me out 'cause her sister was comin' on to me.
Meatwad: Goodness! was she attractive?
Happy-Time Harry: Uh, you know, I don't know. I was passed out, so--
Meatwad: That's a sad story.
Happy-Time Harry: Yeah.
Meatwad: So, um, I'm looking in that box, and I'm noticing you ain't got no, uh, missile launcher or sniper rifle or anything.
Happy-Time Harry: No! No, I don't have a firearm. I just got these: action bills!
Meatwad: Those sound like fun.

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Meatwad: Uhh. Let's go swimming. Ya know, that might cheer you up.
Happy-Time Harry: Aww. Yeah, swimming sounds like a really fun idea. Why don't you go swimming? I gotta take a nap, alright? Get me up at midnight, cause I gotta go to work!

Frylock: Hey, Meatwad. How's that old Happy-Time Harry?
Happy-Time Harry: Hey, pipe down!
Meatwad: Shh. quiet, Frylock. He's still sleeping.
Frylock: Well, Meatwad, it's 4:00 in the afternoon. Maybe you should get him up and go play outside or something.
Meatwad: Nah, he said he's going to spend the rest of the day figuring out how he's going to pay his bills.
Frylock: Aww, so he's got little doll bills huh? That's cute.
Happy-Time Harry: Shut up!
Meatwad: Not really. He says it don't matter how hard you work or how much you do. You're always going to be in the hole. Sometimes he says, "get out of my face.", "you got a problem with that?", and "I'll cut you".
Frylock: He says all that?
Meatwad: Yeah, and his medicine costs a lot of money, too.
Frylock: Well, then I'll tell you what. Here's a check for $1 million in fun money. I'll bet that will make him really happy.
Meatwad: Yeah, maybe this will put a dent in it. I sure thank you, and I know he does, too.

Happy-Time Harry: You think this is a game?
Meatwad: Yes?
Happy-Time Harry: I mean, do you think I live in pretend land?
Meatwad: Shoot. what's gonna make you happy?
Happy-Time Harry: Pills, okay? Get me some pills.

Meatwad: Frylock, where are the pills?
Frylock: Pills? what do you need pills for?
Meatwad: Well, Happy-Time Harry needs them. He says that the pills make the phone calls go away.
Frylock: Okay, Meatwad. This is a prescription from Dr. Frylock for jolly sunshine happiness.
Meatwad: What? You think this is a game? They're gonna garnish his wages, and how is he going to pay child support then, huh? I'll tell you-- he ain't.
Frylock: I don't think I like your tone, and I damn sure don't like your doll. What's this I hear about you needing pills and money?
Meatwad: Whoa! Not on the rug!
Frylock: Oh, my God! you reek of liquor!
Meatwad: Let's open a window.
Happy-Time Harry: Look, man, all you had was root beer and triple sec.
Frylock: I was gonna make margaritas with that!
Happy-Time Harry: Oh, man! you had tequila the whole time? Well, where the-- where is it?
Frylock: Meatwad, I thought this was a Happy-Time dancing doll!
Happy-Time Harry: Haha, no dude. I have to get totally ripped to dance.
Meatwad: Yeah he's--he's kind of dull.

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(Happy-Time Harry coughs)
Frylock: Flip him over--That's how Hendrix died.
Meatwad: Nah.. just leave 'em. He's just gonna die soon anyway..

Frylock: What kind of attitude is that?
Meatwad: Why don't you open your eyes and take a look at the world around you, man? You can see there ain't no point.

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Frylock: Tomorrow I'm getting you a new doll with a sunnier attitude!
Happy-Time Harry: Hey man. While you're there, you get me that happy-time dialysis machine, all right?
Frylock: Dialysis?!
Happy-Time Harry: Yeah, I had to have my liver removed once, and I'm not supposed to drink but I do.

Master Shake: The villagers are frightened. They need a sacrifice to the mighty gorilla. You must have something else!
Meatwad: No. you done destroyed everything.
Master Shake: What about if I do this to the carpet, huh? Hahaha! How do you like that one?
Happy-Time Harry: Hey, who is this jackass? Will somebody tell him I'm trying to sleep?
Meatwad: That's just my jackass roommate.
Happy-Time Harry: Oh, is that your new doll? Your dancing doll, huh? You'll be dancing, all right, buddy, inside the flame, 'cause I'm taking you! Hahaha!
Meatwad: Go ahead. he don't care. I don't care. we all gonna die.
Master Shake: Well look! He's in my hand right now, and he's going away, and he's never coming back! Hahaha! Are you sleeping?
Meatwad: I seen it, okay?! Just take him out and do it.

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Happy-Time Harry: Go ahead man, let's do this thing.
Master Shake: I told you I'd do it, I'm gonna do it now. Hey Meatwad, look at this! Come to the window! Big time fun you know what I mean?
Happy-Time Harry: Okay dude, I just did all the prep work, now let's get it on! DO IT!
Shake: Well, shoot, I mean I was just gonna sort've blow your jaw off with a fire cracker or something. I wasn't gonna, you know-- I think I need to go pray.
Happy-Time Harry: Hey that milkshake's got no guts, man.

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Meatwad: Ya know, Happy-Time, just bein' around ya kinda makes me wanna die.

Frylock: Hey you guys! Look who showed up, we have a visitor.
Jiggle Billy: Well, tarnation! I'm Jiggle Billy!
Frylock: And look--he brought his expensive night-vision goggles for night jiggling.
Jiggle Billy: Come on, y'all! Commence to jiggling!
Frylock: Yeah! Swing your partner round and round! well, I'll leave y'all alone. Looks like y'all are gonna have yourselves a rootin', tootin' jiggle-off.

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Jiggle Billy: So we jigglin' or--
Happy-Time Harry: Hey, backwoods retard-- Not now, not ever.

Jiggle Billy: Okay! Nap-time!
Frylock: You think they're getting along out there?
Master Shake: Yeah, look. I mean, they're just playing. They're just having fun. You know how dolls are. They're always having tea parties or something, Drinking tea and-- oh, goodness.
Frylock: No, that's no tea party. Maybe I should go out there.
Master Shake: Frylock, you stay far away from that doll with the red shoes if you know what's good for you.

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Happy-Time Harry: Ya know sometimes I like to take this knife and just cut myself. (chuckles) see how hard I can do it before I just pass out, man.

Jiggle Billy: Whoo! Yeah! Commence the jiggling, huh?
Happy-Time Harry: Hey, wiggle jiggle, let me ask you something. Why do you dance so much?
Jiggle Billy: I don't know.
Happy-Time Harry: Is it 'cause deep inside, you know that you're a fraud, that you're a lie, that you're a sham?
Jiggle Billy: No, I just-just-- Come on! everybody likes to jiggle, right?
Meatwad: No.
Master Shake: Phone call for Meatwad! Very important.
Happy-Time Harry: Hey, man, you know why you came in that box, right? It's cause someone put you there to die.
Jiggle Billy: Now, that ain't true now. I got--I got me these night-vision goggles.
Happy-Time Harry: For what? You're a hillbilly. You don't even know who you are, do you? Look at you. You're a clown. You're a joke.
Jiggle Billy: I don't know why I have these goggles.
Master Shake: I wonder who this is. It sure sounds official.
Meatwad: Hello? Nope. No, thank you.

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Master Shake: Yeah!!!!
Meatwad: No.. I'm not interested
Master Shake: I sold your name to charity!
Meatwad: Take my name off the list, please.
Master Shake: Now you're gonna get some calls! And they just keep coming! (laughs)

Master Shake: You'll wish-- you'll wish I never did this.
Meatwad: No. I'm off the list now.
Frylock: Yeah. he's off the list. It's over.
Master Shake: Something's gonna happen! Why won't you get pissed off?!
Frylock: What was that?

Meatwad: Jiggle-Billy!!
Happy-Time Harry: I had nothin' to do with it man. He did himself. Because he couldn't stand being with you!
Meatwad: Oh, are you serious? Look he's still jigglin'.
Happy-Time Harry: No, that's something else.
Jiggle-Billy Head: Hey partner, I'm still alive! I'm just real depressed.
Frylock: That's it! you're out of here like last year.
Happy-Time Harry: Oh, yeah? You got what it takes, man? Huh? Do you? Pull the trigger. Pull it! Pull it! Now!
Master Shake: No! Don't do it! That's what he wants, so we're going to do the opposite. Prepare to be immortal!

Frylock: You're gonna chuck him off a cliff? Shake, we could've chucked him off the roof and stayed at home.
Master Shake: No, this is a magic cliff here, like in the Highlander. So you will become the Highlander, and you'll roam the earth forever, trying to kill
yourself, but you won't be able to, because you'll be immortal. Won't that suck, little man? Hahaha!
Meatwad: Well, actually, that sounds kind of cool.
Master Shake: Yeah, it does.
Meatwad: Then I'm gonna do it.
Master Shake: No you're not! I'm doing it!
Frylock: Shake, wait!

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Frylock: The Highlander was just a movie, I mean..
Master Shake: Oh, Frylock. The Highlander was a documentary and the events happened in real time.

Meatwad: So this cliff is magic?
Master Shake: Oh, yeah. Big time.
Meatwad: I'm doing it now.

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Happy-Time Harry: No, man look. You gotta be born a Highlander. You can't just become one.
Frylock: See, he saw the movie too.
Meatwad: Yeah, now that's right!
Master Shake: I know I saw cliffs. Okay? And there was lots of magic everywhere. And Mel Gibson.
Happy-Time Harry: Uhh.. Braveheart? Hello?
Master Shake: Oh, you think you're the expert? Let's see how much your ass knows about flying!

Master Shake: Yeah! that's what I'm talking about.
Frylock: Are you done? Because that took forever!

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Master Shake: I am-- Well, I am forever. I AM IMMORTAL!
Frylock: Shake, no!
Master Shake: Wait, I'm not immortal here, okay.
Frylock: Hang on, Shake. We'll call for help.
Meatwad: Tell him to let go.
Master Shake: Yeah, hurry! I think that the branch will hold for-- IT'S NOT HOLDING!

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Frylock: So, I guess the Highlander comes out of traction today.
Meatwad: Boy I hope they fixed his eyes. They got messed up pretty bad in that fall.
Frylock: Well the doctors gave him some hard plastic replacements, so don't stare at 'em okay? He's real self concious about it.
Meatwad: Okay.
Master Shake: Alas! I return!
Frylock: Oh! There you are--
Meatwad: Dang! What happened to your eyes! They look weird.
Master Shake: Oh, shut up. There can be only one! (Lighting strikes him)
Meatwad: We grillin' tonight!