Steve: Gentlemen..look..and behold! Pants fall off Muahahaha!!
OPENING CREDITS
Frylock: Yes! Contact! Computer, triangulate the coordinates of the signal! Oglethorpe: Hey, neighbor! What is up! Emory: Hey! How's Earth goin', and stuff?
spaceconflictfrombeyondpluto2.mp3 Frylock: Aliens! I can't believe it! Are you a peaceful race? Oglethorpe: Well, yes! We are barbequing, aren't we not? Emory: How do you want your melon? Ogelthorpe: Emory! The melons are on fire! Emory: Well of course they're on fire! They're not made to be cooked. Oglethorpe: What do you know of fire? You prance around like you have lazer eyes! Frylock: So you... don't have lazer eyes, because it was my...? Ogelthorpe: Hey! We're barbecuing here. Why don't you on come up? Emory: Yeah, and bring a cold six. Frylock: Okay.
Frylock: How do I do that? I mean, do you have some sort of particle transmitter, or... Oglethorpe: Particle tran--what do we look like, a couple of nerds? Emory: There's totally a particle transmitter. Oglethorpe: Oh, yes. One of those. We have that.
Oglethorpe: Dude! Get these gross shanks of flesh out of my dominion! Emory: Oh, that is great. Why don't you burn the ship down, while you're at it? Oglethorpe: Shut up!
spaceconflictfrombeyondpluto3.mp3 Oglethorpe: I have an amazing plan to betray our new friend... Ha ha ha ha ha! Emory: I thought the plan was to barbecue with him. Oglethorpe: Plans are for fools! When he gets here, we melt him... and laugh... on into the night!
Emory: Why don't we just like, you know, talk to him, and stuff? Oglethorpe: Why don't you just shut up, and let me do what I want for a change! Emory: What about this fire? Oglethorpe: Put it out! Frylock: Hey, guys. I'm here. Oglethorpe: Who are you? Frylock: I'm Frylock. You know, we spoke earlier. Oglethorpe: No! Emory: welcome to sp-, uh, space! Oglethorpe: Oh look, the room where we melt people. Oglethorpe: You melt away, ja? Frylock: No, I'd rather not. Say, say what is this thing around your neck? Some sort of galactic space collar, or-- Oglethorpe: This? Oh, this is a sweatband. Emory: Yeah, it keeps the sweat out of our eyes. Oglethorpe: Is that what yours does? Mine doesn't work then. It's broken. Emory: 'Cause yours is a droolband, man. Oglethorpe: Oh, thank you, very good, Emory! Oh, look, what's over there? Oh, it's Melt Disney World! Frylock: Yeah, I've seen it, okay!
spaceconflictfrombeyondpluto4.mp3 Frylock: What're these spikes? These spikes all over your body? I mean, surely they have a purpose. Emory: What spikes? Oglethorpe: Oh, these. No, no, no, these are not spikes. They are pointy arms. Emory: We squirt soap out of them..and that's how we keep the ship so clean. See? Frylock: That's soap? Really? Well, it kinda smells like waste. Emory: Well.. One man's waste is another man's..soap.
spaceconflictfrombeyondpluto13.mp3 Oglethorpe: Hey.. what is all this interrogation? Let's toss the frisbee...over there.. Where we will MELT YOU INTO FLUID!
Frylock: Is there maybe a higher brain form that I could speak with?
spaceconflictfrombeyondpluto5.mp3 Ogelthrope: We are on top secret mission of world domination! Frylock: World Domination? You guys couldn't take over a damn bowl of jello. Emory: Is that like.. an important place or something? Ogelthrope: Where is it?!
Frylock: Okay, look, which one of these buttons beams me out of here? Oglethorpe: Those buttons are red! You'll destroy us all! Frylock pushes a button. Balloons and confetti fall from the ceiling and music plays.
Frylock pushes another button. Shake appears on the ship. Master Shake: Hey, happy birthday! Hey, who's the lucky boy?
spaceconflictfrombeyondpluto6.mp3 Frylock: Shake.. how did you get in this beam? Master Shake: Look, that beam came from space. You don't own space, so stop actin' like you do.
Frylock: I'm outta here. (Frylock pushes a button on the control panel and disappears. Shake and the aliens stare at each other for a few seconds. Shake walks over to them.) Master Shake: Hey, how ya doin? Emory: Oh, fine, fine. Master Shake: Tell you what, I wish I was--oh my g--that beam, coming up like that, the speed, you might wanna adjust that. It really did a number on my back, there. I mean, and I don't wanna say whiplash, just yet, cause that's a little too far, but, you're insured, right? Oglethorpe: Oh look, what is that over there? Master Shake: No, you know what, if i could just maybe lay down, my back might straighten out a little bit. That'd be good for now.
spaceconflictfrombeyondpluto7.mp3 Oglethorpe: Well you might be interested to know that we are just about to destroy your planet! Master Shake: Oh, go ahead. I'm not there.
Emory: You really think we need to blow up their planet? Oglethorpe: Is that what we said, blow it up? Let's blow it up! Emory: Okay, fine. ... Did it blow up, man? Oglethorpe: You are toying with me! Drag the slave into the Melterium!
Meatwad: Look, Frylock, look at your carpet. It's burning. Frylock: Fire is bad, Meatwad, you shouldn't play with it. Meatwad: Oh, I know, I know. I use it in my work.
spaceconflictfrombeyondpluto8.mp3 Carl: What is this? Who did this?! Shake!! Carl's Car explodes Frylock: You cannot someone's lawn with matches, Meatwad. Meatwad: Look I know that. You gotta have gasoline, otherwise how's it gonna spread to the street.
spaceconflictfrombeyondpluto12.mp3 Carl: Open this damn door now! Meatwad: Oh, is he mad? Don't open it. Carl: I heard that. Open this door. Meatwad: He Carl, how's that yard lookin'? Pretty good, I bet huh? Carl: Oh, it's done. So is the vinyl siding on my house. Where's Shake? Frylock: He's in space...with aliens.. Carl: Ohh, yeah. Yeah, of course. Why did I ever question that, huh?
Carl: You know I gave Shake twenty dollars to cut my lawn. Meatwad: Yeah, he subbed it out. And look, he gave me this chrome sled. Boy, I hope it snows soon, don't you, Carl? Carl: Oh, yeah, I can't wait. A winter wonderland. Now let me see that sled. It's my freakin' hubcap. Meatwad: Well hell, I don't know. I ain't never cut a yard before. Carl: So, where...exactly...in space...is he?
Emory: So why isn't he, like, melting? I mean, the beam's supposed to be on. Oglethorpe: Well, it's not! I'm looking right at it, and it's not on! Emory: Maybe we need the remote control. Oglethorpe: Well maybe you shouldn't have run the melter through the VCR, Scheisskopf! Emory: Well, maybe it's because you said "I want all meltings to be taped", even though you never watch 'em! Master Shake: Hey, can you guys let me out? Oglethorpe: No, don't come out yet, it's too dangerous! Look! "Make Your Man Happy: Eight Ways to Healthy Buns!" Now where's that damn remote? Emory: Well, if I'd had it, he'd already be a puddle now, wouldn't he? Oglethorpe: Just find the VCR, and I-- Emory: It's in the escape pod, man. Oglethorpe: What in the hell was that? Emory: Uh, that was the...escape pod. Oglethorpe: Damn it! Master Shake: Hey, you wanna let me out? I need to eat! Oglethorpe: Quit pushing the buttons in there! Master Shake: This whole ship's a bunch of buttons! And I'm done with this Redbook, I was done with it the minute I saw it. And I'm hungry! Oglethorpe: You will eat what we say! Emory: You will eat when we say! That's right! Master Shake: I am a guest, and you're not treating me like one. Oglethorpe: Fine. You want to eat? Let's see if you can eat...PIZZA! Master Shake: Pizza? Really? Bring it on, I'm ready! Announcer: Prepare your stomach to set sail on the virtual sea of pizza. Master Shake: You gotta be kidding me. This is it? Announcer: Smell the cool salt air... Master Shake: I can't eat this! Emory: We could still melt him. Like, I have this really bitchin' hair dryer... Oglethorpe: Well, if you think that will work, break it out then. That will only take FOUR THOUSAND MOLTONS! Emory: I'm just trying to help! Oglethorpe: Well, I think screwing everything up is a funny way of hel-- Phone rings Oglethorpe: The space phone is ringing. Where is it? Emory: You had it last. In the melting room, a phone that looks like a toy robot walks up to Shake. It makes some robotic noises. Oglethorpe: If I had it, it would be put back in the charger, 'cause you don't know how to put things back. Master Shake: Hello? Oglethorpe: You give that phone directly to me! I found the phone! Frylock: Hey, can I speak with Shake? Oglethorpe: The phone is for you. Master Shake: Well.
spaceconflictfrombeyondpluto9.mp3 Frylock: Uh, Skake Master Shake: What do you want? Frylock: Carl is here.. Master Shake: How did you get this number? I'm not here... Carl: Oh you're not there? Master Shake: I... Hello Carl. Carl: Hey, buddy! How you doing there? Pizzaland, huh? That's lots of fun. Hey uh, I wanted to let you know, that uh you BURNED MY FREAKIN' HOUSE DOWN! Master Shake: But the grass is gone, correct? Look, that is the cost of doing business. I told you there would be risks. Carl: Yeah, no. The grass is gone. Just like your face is gonna be gone when I shove it in a pastrami slicer... Master Shake: Ha ha hah, slice my face off, you are clever! You quickwit! Ah, well look, relax. And I'll be down there in like, five minutes, and we'll iron all this out, okay? Carl: Oh yeah, that sounds great, that sounds great! Yeah, we'll iron it out. I'll go get my iron. My TIRE iron.
Master Shake: Well, it looks like i'm not going back there. This uh, pizza sea, does it do anything better than this? Oglethorpe: You want me to speed it up? Master Shake: I mean, do you have anything like a, like a mountain adventure, or, uh... Emory: We do have another one. Oglethorpe: Ja! Emory: Some people like it. Master Shake: Okay, load it up. The scene changes from underwater to an outdoor scene with a horse. Announcer: Welcome...to this horse's anus. Meatwad: Hey Carl, you want me to shampoo the rug? Carl: What's the freakin' point, meat man? Meatwad: So you can give me some money.
spaceconflictfrombeyondpluto14.mp3 Emory: Man, he's been in that horse anus room for a long time.. Oglethorpe: Yeah, he has been in there... Emory: I did it once..that was enough. Master Shake: Woo! Man that was amazing. You start off as this blade of grass, and then you go inside and its like a luge! You go down the esophogus, you're in the stomach, large intestine, small intestine, small intestine-favorite part by the way.. You know, I like hanging out with you guys. Well not you guys but the stuff you guys have is great.
Oglethorpe: Oh, look out there! One hundred dollars! On the wing of the ship! Master Shake: Move! That's mine! I dropped it! Now where is it again? Oglethorpe: Out there, you see it? It's there. Master Shake: Look, this could be very dangerous. I'll handle it, okay? Oglethorpe: Oh, would you? Please save us, from all the money? Master Shake: Shake to ship! I'm still not seeing it! Oglethorpe: Oh, you can't see it? Well, let me turn on the light for you! The ship flies away, sending Shake spinning to Earth. Master Shake: Wait! Oglethorpe: Jackass!
Master Shake: Ah, Earth. I name thee Earth!
spaceconflictfrombeyondpluto10.mp3 Carl: Heh heh heh hey... buddy. Master Shake: Oh, hey Carl. Hey! Lawn looks great. Carl: Likin' it? Master Shake: Why's your house all curled up? Carl: I don't know, I was hopin' maybe we could have a little dialogue about that. Master Shake: Hey! Nice tire iron, Carl. Is that yours? Carl: Yeah, lemme get in there and show you the finish on it..up close.
