Aqua Teen Adventures - Premiere Online Source for Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Episode 3 - Bus of the Undead

Click on the filename above the transcription to download the clip. Enjoy!

busoftheundead1.mp3

Dr. Weird: Haha! Gentlemen. Behold! Mothmonster--Oh no! Mothmonsterman no! Come back!
Steve: He has escaped!
Dr. Weird: Yes! Through the hole! falls My banana!
Mothmonsterman: Oh my God. Oh, sweet, delicious light.

busoftheundead2.mp3

Frylock: Shake, man, I'm tryin' to sleep.
Master Shake: How can you sleep when Assisted Living Dracula is on? Now I know it seems a litte slow, but when you get into it, I mean when you see it from the beginning..

Frylock: Yeah, okay, I-I see it Shake.

busoftheundead11.mp3

Frylock: What's up with this light?
Master Shake: Oh this? This is the Shake signal. Whenever there is danger, it will turn on and we will follow it to justice!
Frylock: And it's gonna stay on your lid the whole time?
Master Shake: Yes, I was thinking that, yes.
Frylock: So let me get this straight-- There's trouble downtown, and you're in here with that light on your head--
Master Shake: Well naturally whosever in trouble will have to catch a bus and let us know!
Frylock: Why don't we just put it downtown?
Master Shake: It stays on my head in here. This is the Shake signal, the Master Shake signal, you got that?
Meatwad: I get it.

Master Shake: You would get it! And you will get it. Weird sound Trouble! On the roof! Get my design scram!
Frylock: Will you relax?!

busoftheundead3.mp3

Meatwad: Sounds to me like someone's flappin' wings up there. It's the Tooth-Fairy tryin' to beat its way in!

Master Shake: For your one precious tooth? Take it, what's the point? You're gonna lose it soon anyway when I kick it right out of your mouth when you're asleep!
Frylock: Shake, man. Cool out.
Master Shake: Oh, I'll do it! Don't tell me to cool out!
Frylock: It does sound like wings, Meatwad.
Meatwad: That's what I said!

busoftheundead4.mp3

Master Shake: Then it must be...uh.. Dracula!
Meatwad: Dracula?!
Master Shake: It is Dracula!
Frylock: Yeah, no. It's not Dracula.
Meatwad: The blood drinker?!
Master Shake: Oh, yeah Meatwad. That bloodsucker would eat a meat man like you. That's a no brainer. They crave that stuff.

Meatwad: They eat meat?
Master Shake: Oh, ferociously! I mean, where have you been?! My light!
Frylock: It stopped.
Mothmonsterman: Oh, man!
Door knocks

Master Shake: Get the door, Meatwad. It's Dracula.
Meatwad: I ain't gonna get it, you get it.
Frylock: I'll get it.

busoftheundead5.mp3

Frylock: Hey Carl.
Master Shake: Carl! Hey!
Meatwad: Good morning Carl.
Carl: Yeah it is a good morning there little man. It's 3:00 in the morning!
Master Shake: Carl, did you see our flag? Pretty boss, huh?
Carl: Look, all I know is that this cord here was plugged into my house, and your house was glowing like the frickin sun! So I put 2 and 2 together there eh, and decided that your pissing me off.

Master Shake: Oh, we are truly sorry Carl. And it will probably never happen again. Can we have our cord back?
Carl: Nah, nah, there. I'm just gonna keep it, there. Since it's mine anyways.
Master Shake: Carl, might wanna be careful. Dracula's out there!
Meatwad: Dracula?!
Frylock: It's not Dracula!
Carl: Go back to sleep, you freaks!

Schooly D: Whoa, Carl. Ease up brotha! You try fallin' asleep with a blood sucker sittin' on your roof waitin to sink his fangs into your thang. Say goodbye to the Aqua Teens cause they might not make it through the night!

Meatwad: Did he see you?
Master Shake: Shut up and lock the door.
Meatwad: Gimme the funnies.
Master Shake: Here, you read the coupons. Look, fabric softener!
Meatwad: I ain't readin' no coupons, now gimme the funnies! ...do what I say cause I said it!
Phone rings
Master Shake: Hello?
Mothmonsterman: Hi
Master Shake: Hello?
Mothmonsterman: Look around. Notice anything...awry?
Master Shake: Well.. eh, no.
Mothmonsterman: Are you sure about that?
Master Shake: Definitely. ..maybe..
Mothmonsterman: No, no no no, no. Why don't you go look at your flag.
Master Shake: It's ruined!
Mothmonsterman: Yeah, it is ruined. I did that.
Master Shake: Who is this?!
Mothmonsterman: Who this is is none of your concern. Now, I suggest your turn on that light or something else might happen, cloth related.
Master Shake: Frylock, trace this call! Now, you listen to me you coozed up gypsy!

busoftheundead6.mp3

Frylock: The call is coming from inside that school bus!.
Master Shake: Inside the bus... It is the bus! The Bus of the Undead! VAMPIRES!

Meatwad: Vampires?! On a bus?
Master Shake: Oh, yes Meatwad. The bus of the undead. Lubricated with 10-W Blood.
Frylock: Hmm. I'm not detecting any vampiridic activity. Besides, it's 2 'o'clock in the afternoon.
Master Shake: He's a reverse vampire! They crave the sun!
Frylock: Oh, really?
Master Shake: Yeah! They love it! They love to get tans!
Frylock: No kidding! Where are they from?
Master Shake: Well.. it's... Tansylvania!
Frylock: Oh, oh no. No way in the world, no way on earth!
Master Shake: See the wheels? Those are the markings.
Frylock: Where do you get this stuff?!
Master Shake: Bring forth the holy water!
Shake sucks all the water out of Carl's pool
Carl: Where is my paper?!

Master Shake: Here's the water, now ordain me. Does anyone know how to do that?
Meatwad: I do! Wait, no I don't.
Master Shake: There's no time! Rips molding off wall I shall drive this wooden stake deep into the heart of the crank case of the vampire bus!

busoftheundead7.mp3

Meatwad: Master Shake is so brave.
Frylock: Yeah, well I got news for ya Meatwad. That bus is not a vampire.
Meatwad: No no, I know. I know. It's a reverse vampire. You see, the thing you need to look at is the wheels cause those are the markings. That's the way you can tell.
Frylock: No, no Meatwad. It's just a bus. Master Shake doesn't always know everything.
Meatwad: But he's a genius!
Frylock: Well, I know he told you that, but--
Master Shake: Let me in! Hurry! Before I'm sucked dry!

Master Shake: He is impenetrable!

busoftheundead12.mp3

Master Shake: Hello?
Mothmonsterman: Yeah, why did you throw molding at me?
Master Shake: What do you want from me?!
Mothmonsterman: I want the light turned on.
Master Shake: I don't have the blood you crave!
Mothmonsterman: Blood? No, I don't want the blood. I really want to see the light turned on all right? If I don't have it on by nightfall (honk) I'm going to lay on this horn. Big time, all right? Then I will probably call you back.
Master Shake: To suck my blood?!
Mothmonsterman: Yeah... sure.

Master Shake: The vampire hung up.
Frylock: Hmm, this looks like the work of a moth. Or a goat.
Master Shake: What're you doin? You want a brownie?
Frylock: I took a saliva sample from this flag and I'm going to genetically extrapolate the DNA in my cloning device.
Master Shake: When did you get a cloner?!
Frylock: There I'm going to regenerate the biochemical structure of these molecules and then transfer the--
Master Shake: Answer me! No, clone me! And answer my clone! Do it! I command it!
Frylock: It's not a toy, Shake.
Master Shake: I want the family I've never had! I need decendants to carry my seed into the future because I am about to be sucked dry by Dracula Bus, the Bus of the Undead!
Frylock: Listen to me!
Master Shake: OWww.

busoftheundead8.mp3

Frylock: Whoever's in that bus is not Dracula!
Master Shake: He's not in the bus Frylock, he is the bus.

Master Shake: I'm a detective! Where are you going?
Frylock: Dracula is dead and buried, Shake. And I'm going to show you his grave. Pack a bag, we're going to Memphis.
Master Shake: Hey, will this thing clone brownies?
Frylock: What?
Master Shake: Nothing. Ooo, I could use a vacation.

Schooly: Oh, Shake. Man, you messin' up again, baby. Just leave it! Cause it's vacation time, brothas! Vacation time, brothas! Vacation! Haha!

Meatwad: This ain't no vacation. This hurts!
Master Shake: Faster, Meatwad!
Frylock: There it is!
Meatwad: I wanna see the King!
Master Shake: You are seeing the Count.

Tape: Welcome! I am Dracula!
Meatwad: Can I listen?
Tape: This is my grave.
Meatwad: Can I listen?
Tape: The D on my grave stands for Dracula!
Meatwad: Can I listen?
Master Shake: "The D on the grave stands for Dracula.. Guess what the D is for! It stands for Dracula!
Frylock: Shake, will you turn that down?!
Master Shake: You do not need to raise your voice at me!
Frylock: Look, my point is Dracula is dead!
Master Shake: I know, I know. I rented the headphones.
Frylock: So that bus outside of our house is not Dracula.
Master Shake: I know, it's the ghost of Dracula.
Frylock: It's a damn schoolbus!
Master Shake: All right, it's a schoolbus!
Meatwad: Hey, here's a fun idea. Let's go get some catfish!
Master Shake: No, let's go nail ourselves to the cart and pull me home, cause this vacation is over!

Back Home

Master Shake: If it's one thing I like it's a good six week vacation. Being a detective, of course, usually I'm out solving a lot of big mysteries I don't have a lot of time for this type of thing, but when I can get it in, it is good.
Frylock: Shake, look!
Master Shake: Look, they just tossed the mail in the yard like a pack of animals!
Frylock: What happened to Carl's house?!

busoftheundead9.mp3

Meatwad: Hey, which one of you guys left the door open... and tore it off the hinges and threw it in the yard?

Master Shake: What is going on in here?!
Mothmonsterman: Oh hey, where you guys been?
Master Shake: Memphis!
Mothmonsterman: Really?
Master Shake: Yes
Mothmonsterman: That's awesome! How was it?
Master Shake: Oh, it was very nice. They light up the bridge. We had fried catfish!
Meatwad: When did you have fried catfish?!
Frylock: Who are you and what are you doing in our house?!
Mothmonsterman: Oh um, I really had to get to this light. It's been driving me nuts. Isn't it great?
Master Shake: Yes, it is great. Hey is that-- Oh, this is that movie!
Mothmonsterman: Yeah, it's Assisted-Living Dracula. It's really good. When you guys get in it...

busoftheundead10.mp3

Frylock: What is this?
Mothmonsterman: Oh that's Carl. You guy's know him? He's got a real mouth on him.
Carl: Oohhhh. My stomach is vibratin'.
Master Shake: Oh, hey Carl! I didn't recognize you with all that silk.
Carl: Please God. Cut me down, here Fryman.
Frylock: What've you done to him?
Mothmonsterman: I just layed a thousand of my eggs inside of his esophagus. Yeah. You know, I need to propagate my species and he's being a baby about it.
Frylock: Well, you know we have a cloner.
Mothmonsterman: Seriously?

Ding!
Frylock: Oh no! The cloner!
Master Shake: The brownies!
Meatwad: My brandy!
Master Shake: Run! To the pool!
Brownie Monsters emerge
Mothmonsterman: Oh, you guys have a pool? Oh my God!

Frylock: You put a brownie in my cloning device, didn't you?
Master Shake: No! Yes.. I don't know. Maybe. Listen, that was six weeks ago. Look, I locked the door! Just let'm just..let 'em duke it out!
Meatwad: You didn't lock that door! It was out in the yard.
Brownie Monsters attack